In the end they all get the order right and finally win a reward. This week's option is pony express or letters from home. Of course they choose the letters. Immediately I'm thinking, oh man, are they going to keep Taylor's letter from her? It would certainly teach her a lesson, but no way. Of course they save Taylor for last and then tell her that as long as she promises to do work from now on, she can have her letter. Are they serious? Taylor's word is not exactly reliable. She gives an insincere "I promise" and they hand her the letter. Then they tell her they believe in her and that she's a good girl.

Cut to Taylor reading her letter:
(dramatic reinactment)

Dear Teylor:

Hope yer havin' fuun in Bonanza. Make sure you practice yer turns, and brush yer haair ery day. Member- fifty toms awn the rot, and fifty toms awn the laugh. And no madder what dem boys tell you, you don' left a finger now, y'hear me? Beauty queens don't clean.

Almost forgot... I got a hold a that Larry Rudolph, who managed Britney Spears, and he says he's gone take us right to the top!

Gotta go now, baby girl. Yer Daaaddy's takin me a buy a new dee-signer puurrrse!

Love,
Mama

P.S. Deal with it

All the kids get their letters and they all wind up crying. Not that I blame them, I'm sure it's very emotional, especially at that age. The craziest part to me though was when Hunter got his letter. Did anyone else notice the caption under the picture from his little brother? It said : "Me and Hunter playing nerf guns." With a very violent picture underneath. What a bunch of loony confederate hicks Hunter's family members are. I wonder what the producers did with the other picture sent to Hunter by his little brother. You know, the one with the caption, "Me and Hunter playing nerf slave trade."

huntercry.jpg

Dang, I miss that game

Greg gets his letter, which is not so uplifting. His parents tell him that his cousin's been shipped to Iraq. We don't know what else there is to the letter but I'd imagine the rest of it went a little something like this:

"I know you're there to have fun, learn a lot and rebuild the city, but we figured we'd let you know that the bank foreclosed on the house, and you're going to have to quit school and work full time at the butcher when you get back. Also, your Mom and I are getting a divorce. It's mostly your fault.

Come home soon!

Love,
Dad

P.S. The dog died.

Zach's parents send him an inspirational, albeit inaccurate message. Their message is that it doesn't matter how many times you fall down, what matters is how many times you get back up. Nice thought, however what actually matters is that after you get up, you avoid getting thrown out of the bar.

Time for the town meeting. No one wants to go home, but everyone wants to complain about Greg. Greg does his typical Greg act, defending himself, while claiming to not be defending himself, and raising his voice. This is called "tough love" in Greg's world. Which is odd, because in my world, it's called being a douchebag.

Eventually Greg says that if 50% of the people want him to go home he will go. But he says it in such a threatening way it's as if his eyes are saying, "go ahead, raise your hand and see what happens, I dare you." No one raises their hand of course, even though most of them probably want to, and finally Colton somehow gets left with the job of telling Greg they just want him to change.

I started thinking to myself, "now Colton sits back down onto the pants he just soiled having to speak to Greg like that," but then I remembered that time Colton stared down a bull. So he probably didn't shit his pants. He probably just pee peed himself a little.

Some of the Pioneers do stand up to Greg, which is nice to see. Eventually Greg says that he can see where they are coming from and that he will start to work on it. I think Greg and Taylor should get together after this show and start a rehab facility called Broken Promises. And invite Brad Pitt to come.

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Comments (27)

Justamom:

Dear McSteeny:

I am Laurel's mom and I have to tell you I wait for your recap every week. I've been reading them since the first show. The good thing about me posting is that I use my "R's" when I write, just not when I speak.

Remember, the Pilgrims landed in Boston -- not Texas, Missouri or California! Who's to say we have an accent!

Actually, the phone call you saw was filmed in my home(about 3 miles from Fenway)!

Thanks for making my night, this recap was especially funny.

warof7:

dear dr i want to know what did dexter have to say about this episode because what dexter has said has made me laugh alot

Bonanzlover:

I love your recaps. As a KN obsessed person who reads literally every recap and comment on the web about this show I have the authority to say that your recaps are the absolute best!

ReeseWitherspoon:

Hey Justamom: The pilgrims landed in Boston. Then they made friends with the Indians. Then they learned from them. They they slaughtered and raped them. I wouldn't be bragging about the Pilgrims doing anything. Pronounce your r's.

fire@will:

I don't know why you made crude remarks about nerf guns. Sure, they are not as good for shooting your brother as a BB gun, but your mom won't let you shoot a BB gun in the house, either.

They only way to hurt your brother with a nerf gun is to beat him with it. (Then your mom yells at you.)

redhaiku:

I still love Laurel, even though she got a little uppity. That girl has pipes!

I think it's sad how DK got sucked into all the bad boy drama... and I love how our new sucky council is solely made up of people who have already won gold stars.

Good on Michael for having the cojones (that haven't dropped, maybe) to stand up to Greg and company... eventually).

Anyhow, interesting episode. I wonder if they eschewed the "Ye-Olde-Pioneer-Journal-that's totally-not-fake" because the older boys mocked it too much during filming. I would like to see that filming.


Thanks for the wonderful, sassy and sometimes just-plain-awesomely wrong recaps!

McSteeny:

Laurel's mom is that really you!? If so, I'm thrilled to hear from you, and relieved that you seem to be understanding of my sense of humor and haven't taken my teasing to heart. I can only hope the other pioneer parents are as accepting! If you've been reading from the beginning you already know how highly I regard Laurel. I don't think I'll ever like the accent, but you make a good point ;)

warof7: everything Dex said this week was entirely too inappropriate to write. Even for me. Maybe next week he'll make comments I can actually include- he seems to be a fan favorite.

Bonanzlover, I'm honored.

Thanks everyone!
-McSteeny

Justamom:

McSteeny:

Yes, it's really me, Laurel's mom.

But, are you kidding me, your hilarious! I don't take any of it to heart (or "haaht") but I love to read the recaps. I said to my husband after watching myself on tv the other night when Laurel won the star...oh God, McSteeny's going to have a field day with me saying to Laurel "whaatsthamatta" or "you won $20,000 dolaahhs"

You're not going to believe this but I never thought I had a "strong" accent -- I know better now!

I don't know if the other Pioneer Parents read your recaps I have not asked them. Please keep them coming, my husband and I both look forward to them. Honestly, I've shared a lot of them with Laurel but I make her sit beside me so she can't actually read them so I can jump over the inappropriate stuff. But, last night, I was reading it out loud to my husband, my son and Laurel and I had to stop and walk away there were tears running down my face I was laughing so hard!

Thanks for keeping us laughing!

ThisShowRocks!:

That is hysterical! I thought that the original post was a fake for sure!
Good stuff!

I have to admit. When promos for this show first ran, I thought I'd never watch it...but then it ran on a Saturday night when nothing else was on, and I've been hooked ever since!

Thanks for the recaps...as always, they enhance the show even more!

ThisShowRocks!:

I do have a question for Justamom.
How were the kids picked for this show? And was Laurel picked as an original council member, and not another kid in town?

Justamom:

I'm not sure how all the kids were picked for the show but Laurel is involved in local community theater and she heard about the auditions, they were coming to Boston so she wanted to audition.

There are a lot of "gifted" kids on the show that were taken from "gifted" programs (NOT LAUREL) but like obviously, Alex is a genius and a bunch of other kids were really really bright. I think the producers reached out to these schools/programs. They also picked a variety of different types of kids like Taylor & Leila (beauty pagents), Blaine and Migle (models) Kennedy (tennis champ) Anjay (National Spelling Bee winner)..so I think they wanted a variety of kids.

As far as council..we did not know that she was chosen as a council member until maybe 5 days before the show started (we really didn't even know what that meant at the time)....and we don't know why she was picked but if you notice the 4 original council members are from like the 4 corners of the US? Not sure if that had anything to do with it.

Again, Laurel really enjoyed her time there (they all did)...and she would pack her bag tomorrow if she could do it all again.

Lots of people have asked if the show was "scripted"...IT WAS NOT..Laurel told me they NEVER told her anything to say...NEVER...she said the only thing was the producers may ask them to repeat something they said but they never told them what to say or how to act.

fire@will:

I am glad Laurel was booted from the council - so she could get her well deserved gold star.

I fear Mike and Anjay will remain unrewarded for their honest efforts.

Too bad every kid didn't get to serve time on the council. It seemed like a great learning experience.

sweetblondie:

Hi Laurel's Mom!

Can you please let Laurel know that she is/was one of my favorite Bonanza citizens?

I was/am very impressed with her.

And thanks for the insight too, I can watch the show with new eyes. I'm so glad to know nothing was scripted.

McSteeny: another stellar recap. Had me lol'ing yet again.

shelley:

Wow! I love that our fav pioneer's mom reads this!! Live chat possibly? I know we all have a lot of questions about the show!

you know...reading that sentence, i think i may be too involved...good thing that I have BB9 to console me when this show is ovah. :)

Excellent recap as usual McSteeny...i was laughing out loud at work!!

shelley:

Wow! I love that our fav pioneer's mom reads this!! Live chat possibly? I know we all have a lot of questions about the show!

you know...reading that sentence, i think i may be too involved...good thing that I have BB9 to console me when this show is ovah. :)

Excellent recap as usual McSteeny...i was laughing out loud at work!!

tvkitty:

I don't even watch this show, but I'm only on page 2 of this recap and already have 2 things I absolutely HAVE TO comment about.

Variety cereal boxes! LOL I have the same problem. I get mad and dig around the shelf hoping that there is a messed up box w/ no crappy cereal, but alas I take home my variety pack and eat all the good stuff and add the lone box of crap cereal that is left to my ever growing collection of crap leftover mini ceral boxes.


2nd= triumph the insult dog.... "perfect to poop on" HAHAHA I'm grinning like an idiot at work right now because of that.

Thank you Dr. McSteeny, Thank you.

Splotchie:

first my most important point to make on your recap - What the fuck is wrong with Cheerios, Bitch? Just teasin' LOL

Love your recap as always, had me laughing in that really creepy way you will when you're trying to be super quiet so everyone in the office doesn't know that your not working.

Great to see Laurel's mom on the site, but how unfortunate that she should let us know she has joined us right when we start noticing that our sweet, mature Laurel is not perfect as we always thought.

ThisShowRocks!:

Thanks for answering, justamom!

Derek512:

Hi McSteeny! I've been reading every single one of your recaps and I find them highly amusing. You're truly a great writer, and I hope you do recaps for Kid Nation 2, also.

Laurel's Mom: Would it be at all possible for me to get in touch with Laurel? I wrote a report on Kid Nation earlier on in the school year, and I was wondering about the kids' experiences. I know Laurel must be busy, and if this is too much to ask, I apologize.

(ps: hi laurel! *fanboy squeak*)

laurel4president:

Laurel's Mom!!!

Love you as much as your daughter. I live in NY and my brother lives in Nashville but we're from Boston and we knew immediately, from the moment we first heard Laurel, that she had to be from Medford. And we were right! I am 28 and completely obsessed with the show. I'm going to Boston over Xmas--does Laurel have any chorus concerts? Love her choice of favorite sports team on the cbs webpage.She makes Irish Catholic girls, old and young, proud!!!

laurel4president:

Laurel's Mom!!!

Love you as much as your daughter. I live in NY and my brother lives in Nashville but we're from Boston and we knew immediately, from the moment we first heard Laurel, that she had to be from Medford. And we were right! I am 28 and completely obsessed with the show. I'm going to Boston over Xmas--does Laurel have any chorus concerts? Love her choice of favorite sports team on the cbs webpage.She makes Irish Catholic girls, old and young, proud!!!

Justamom:

Thank you all for your nice comments about Laurel.

No, Laurel is not in any theater shows/concerts right now...just enjoying 7th grade.

Also Derek512: we are not allowed to do any interviews until the show has completed....so I guess she could do an interview after the middle of December, but I have to run everything by CBS and I know for sure we are not allowed to give interviews until AFTER the last show.

Also McSteeny - rumor has it that other Pioneer Parents read and enjoy your post just as much as I do!

McSteeny:

Justamom,

I can't thank you enough for all the info you've given and your participation with us. I'm sure I speak on behalf of all the readers when I say it makes the whole Kid Nation experience more enjoyable!

To any other Kid Nation parents reading: just because I tease and mock them doesn't mean I don't think all of your kids are truly fabulous. Please don't take my wicked sense of humor to heart. I'd hate to think I was really hurting or offending anyone.

Ok, enough of this crap, back to the kid-bashing!

warof7:

hi umm well on the laurels and her moms accernt no offense but my english teacher is from boston and every once in a while he will say something in the accent and ever since i started read these recaps i just laugh. today at school it snow so my teacher wore his snjow sweater or as he calls it snow sweata lol. also derek 512 if u get a chance to talk to laurels could u possibly send me what she said my email is warof7@aol.com thx

wincha:

Laural's mom:
I am very impressed with Laural and she has a very nice voice. When was this show taped? Did these children really miss school and if so wasn't this breaking some type of law? I can't imagine my younger children going away to be on a show like this. I can see the older kids but not the younger children.

farrell100:

Fabulous recap, per usual!

Laurel's Mom!! I am a Laurel Fan, and your next door neighbor...as I'm just over the line in Providence, Rhode Island. I have been all alone here defending our Northeast accents all season! Whateva. It's all good. Someone above said it best when they said Laurel makes all us Irish Catholic girls look good. You have a great kid, and I was stoked to get to see you on TV as well. It's been fun "meeting" the parents of all the kids who get to call home.

Any chance of a reunion show...or a meet the parents show???

Thanks Again McSteeny and Laurel's Mom.

Justamom:

Farrell 100: I can't answer any questions about a reunion show. We are not really allowed to talk about any of that until the show is completed :)

Also as for school, although they were in Bonanza for 40 days, Laurel, I believe, only missed 19 days of school (weekends, a holiday and April vacation). A lot of these kids were home schooled so for them it was probably less of a problem. I don't know if keeping your child out of school for a couple of weeks is 'breaking a law' but I'm sure they could hold your child back a grade. But Laurel had to make up a lot of the work when she returned. Most of these kids were pretty bright so it probably wasn't a problem making up the work.

My thought is -- some of the most imporant lessons you learn in life are not taught in the Classroom.

I feel she learned so much more about herself, the ways of the world, friendships, hard-work, than she ever would have in the 19 days she missed out of the 6th grade classroom.

Believe me, she had the time of her life there and still misses it every single day!

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