By EdHill
You know, when I sat down to write this, it occurred to me how negative I have been about Kill Reality in all my previous recaps. Who am I to cast aspersions on these people? Trishelle and Tonya both have moms that love them right? Sure, Jenna Lewis made a homemade porno tape, pretended it was stolen, and then we found out she was collecting all the profits. But when the inevitable homemade porn with J-Unit and Tyra Banks surfaces, will I be so quick to judge? The man has to earn a living. TVgasm ads only get you so far. So then I said to myself, this is the season finale. Why not go out on a high note? If E! gives me lemons, I'll make lemonade! Unfortunately, E! gave me a big steaming pile of crap. And believe me, I wish that was just a metaphor. I apologize for any incoherence or misspelled words on my part in this recap, as I was forced to pour bleach on my eyes after watching this week's episode. You'll see why soon enough....


Comments (19)
I have been a die hard reality fan for about 10 years now. I admit that I watched every episode of Kill Reality (along with many other dogs this summer, like The Cut). Dare I say, shows like these have finally made me OD on reality. I'm not sure I can hang in there for much more (except Survivor, which will always be my fav, and non-family versions of The Amazing Race). I think my viewing or reality TV this Fall will be curtailed a bit, swithing back to the "scripted" shows (thank god for summer re-runs - I discovered Lost). Thanks for the recaps of Kill Reality because I know I am not losing my mind, and my disgust is real. I just wish I could figure out why I kept watching?!?!
1 of 19 | Posted by Used to love reality | Posted on September 15, 2005 3:38 AM
The title says it all. This show might not be the death of reality TV but it certainly built the coffin.
Reichen used to be hot, but that last pic has stained my brain forever. Gross!!!!
As for Johnny Fairplay, I think he should commit suicide by chugging bleach and post the video on his website for all of us to see. Hooray!
2 of 19 | Posted by Stevo | Posted on September 15, 2005 5:07 AM
Oh, damn. I'm generally pretty merciless, but I'm not sure what to think of mocking two fameho loser bitches for having mothers who are dead or who lost their parental rights. There are so many other legitimate things for which to call out Tonya and Trishelle; regardless of impressions of appropriateness, going the Ha Ha You Ain't Got No Momma To Love You route just seems subpar when these women provide us with so many *better* things to hate on.
3 of 19 | Posted by Eliza | Posted on September 15, 2005 5:31 AM
Eliza, I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't know anything about their mothers. I was just saying it in a "they can't be that bad sicne there moms must love them" kind of way.
ALthough I'm pretty sure Jonny Fairplay doesnt have a mom. I think he was spontaneously generated from an elixer of toilet water and urine.
4 of 19 | Posted by EdHill | Posted on September 15, 2005 6:07 AM
I also love reality shows, but this one just sucked. Jonny Fuckhead is just over the top. I don't know why the other losers still stayed in that house? I guess the contract was very binding, and lets face, they are reality whores and will do anything on TV.
I was hoping he'd take a crap on TreSlutte and that other filth Jenna Lewis, instead of Trish. I never saw the bachelor, so I have no idea what Trish did.
I think Reichen has had too much therapy, and is quite annoying. He's always yammering on about how happy he is that people have accepted him. Just shut up already. Also, he's a terrible actor. I do love his delusional thoughts about being a real actor! Too funny...go into gay porn, you'd do a lot better and have a decent fan base.
By the way, I will watch this movie, just for the comedy of it all....
5 of 19 | Posted by katieshole | Posted on September 15, 2005 6:09 AM
Edhill
Are you kidding that you dont know anything about "Trishelle and Tonya both have moms that love them right? "
Trishelle's mother died and Tonya was in foster care her entire life so she mom really didn't love her. I love TVgasm, but that was a low blow if you did know.
You left out that Erika dated and dates Josh from BB1 before and after BB. She is a double X factor.
6 of 19 | Posted by mellymel | Posted on September 15, 2005 6:32 AM
In Defense of EdHill, he did not pick out Kill Reality, and I think has done a good job considering he might have no interest in a lot of the idiots that fill the house.
I would also like to say that children who are foster children or adopted are not necessarily unloved by their mothers.
7 of 19 | Posted by J-Unit | Posted on September 15, 2005 7:32 AM
Man you guys are like madmen with the reality show knowledge.
For the record, I know nothing of pretty much any reality show contestants personal life, so i wasnt making fun of anyones moms. Everyone who knows me knows the only momma jokes I do are "Yo momma so fat" ones.
For instance. Sg-dubs momma is so fat, she uses a hula hoop for a pinky ring.
He has just been served.
8 of 19 | Posted by EdHill | Posted on September 15, 2005 7:35 AM
"Wad duh cun' tree!"
ha!
9 of 19 | Posted by ha! | Posted on September 15, 2005 8:14 AM
I have no life when it comes to stupid reality TV. I did think it was funny being a low blow if you knew or not.
And J-Unit -- True, we don't know if her mother loves her or not. Tonya is the most changed reality whore. Back when she was on MTV Chicago -- it was all about her and her boyfriend and Kara was the slut for hooking up with 3 people...now how things have changed...
10 of 19 | Posted by mellymel | Posted on September 15, 2005 8:46 AM
Johnny Jackass belongs in a padded room.His family must be so proud of him.What a truly pathetic excuse for a human being.
11 of 19 | Posted by Brian | Posted on September 15, 2005 9:54 AM
And as an added not to Reichen.....WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING LETTING THAT THING ANYWHERE NEAR YOU???????
Hope you gargled with bleach for an hour afterwards.
12 of 19 | Posted by Brian | Posted on September 15, 2005 9:57 AM
Will we ever find out where exactly Johnny took his poo? Was it on her head? Was it on the edge of the bed? How long did it take Trish to figure out? As long as the 'double decker'?
And I might add, that I bet the dvd of the film is going to be sold on that Girls Gone Wild site. Why else would they force all those reality whores to bare their ninnies?
13 of 19 | Posted by Tootie | Posted on September 15, 2005 11:18 AM
They should have thrown out Johnny trailer park trash scuzbucket Fairplay long ago. But of course they kept him for the ratings. Lets hope he is not as annoying in "the movie" or it will be a big flop.
14 of 19 | Posted by Sarah | Posted on September 15, 2005 12:57 PM
EdHill..you know why I adore you, because of comments like this:
"I think he (Jonny Fairplay) was spontaneously generated from an elixer of toilet water and urine."
Each day I adore you more! Too funny!
15 of 19 | Posted by katieshole | Posted on September 15, 2005 1:20 PM
Am I the only one who always thought Jonny Fairplay's misogyny was based on being a psychotic closet case? This wack job HATES women. It's why he thought the famous "Dead Grandmother" thing was "funny." He probably came while kissing Reichen. (And I'd rather kiss Chip.) (Or, you know, someone who isn't a raging fame whore.)
16 of 19 | Posted by cutebutstupid | Posted on September 16, 2005 4:24 AM
JOhnny has serious mental problems. Ive never heard of a person pooping on someone's bed...and then not seeing what the big deal is. He was really stunned that it was a bad thing.
Does the E! channel provide counseling?
Do you think there will be any "break-out" actors from this movie?
17 of 19 | Posted by Distressed Jeans | Posted on September 16, 2005 4:39 PM
They should just rename "Kill reality" To the "Trishelle & Johnny Fairplay show"
18 of 19 | Posted by British | Posted on September 18, 2005 7:37 PM
I used to tell people that gay men just aren't hot for every guy out there... they have taste in men, too.
Thanks for killing the dream, Reichen.
19 of 19 | Posted by RedHaiku | Posted on September 19, 2005 8:03 PM