Testimonials

He comes back the next day for dinner service, and had a powwow with David, Brian and Greg. He asks them all to actually be there for dinner service, a novelty for the Black Pearl. David seems to know what he's doing somewhat when it comes to calling orders on the line, but when a plate of mussels comes back because there's sand in it, he goes out to the table to yell at the patrons for not knowing what the fuck they've ordered. He tells them there's supposed to be sand in it, and that's why it comes with broth, and what would they like instead besides the forty lashes with a wet noodle? The patrons tell him to go fuck himself and look at each other in utter bewilderment that they were just yelled at by the restaurant owner. G-Ram looks on all of this with a glazed-over expression of disbelief. He pulls David aside in the kitchen and shoves his face in some smelly fish and tells him that his restaurant sucks and he needs to shape the fuck up, which awkwardly reminds him of a repressed childhood memory.

G-Ram decides to investigate why the restaurant's food is so bad, and goes back into the cooler. There he sees that all of their lobsters are not Maine lobsters but actually Canadian, which are of poorer quality and a lot cheaper. This is where a U.S. to Canadian dollar joke would have fit really well 8 years ago.

After dinner service is over, G-Ram confronts David about the lobsters. David gives him a smartass response about how Canadian lobsters and Maine lobsters are exactly the same since they come from North Atlantic waters and have the same Latin family name. G-Ram tells him he's a fucking idiot and walks out the door.

Wait, Maine isn't the capital of Can-ay-dee-yah?

The next day, G-Ram organizes a staff meeting and has everyone write down anonymous questions on pieces of paper and put them in a tin. I have the feeling this isn't going to be a snap cup. David refuses to answer any questions other than when he's asked to act out, with feeling, three examples of douchebaggery behavior.

G-Ram tells the three owners that they need to think about having just one general manager to give the staff one direction instead of many feuding voices. Then he sends Brian home because he's useless and tells David and Greg to split up the front of the house/expediting duties 50/50 for the evening so he can see who would make a better manager. G-Ram also cooks a special for them with potatoes, lobster and bearnaise sauce that he says "isn't just blowing smoke up my own ass, but it's fucking delicious."

Mmm, I LOVE it when you talk dirty.

While expediting, the staff are terrified of asking David for their orders, but also don't want him terrifying their guests at the front of the house. David is totally condescending and incredibly rude to everybody, staff and patrons alike. Greg is nicer, but completely scattered, and accidentally had the chef make the same ticket twice so they get backed up in the kitchen.

Greg is able to settle everything down though, and after dinner service, G-Ram gathers the staff to make a decision about who should be general manager. Miraculously, they are all sitting in the exact same places as the first meeting and look like the night hasn't shifted a single hair on their head. They take a vote, and Greg is voted general manager in a 4-1 victory. What I want to know is who voted for David, and were they under threat of corporal punishment?

G-Ram dismisses them for the night and has his crew work on the remodeling efforts all night. When the staff come in the next day, they are thrilled with the improvements. Steven yells out how much he loves the huge, red, throbbing lobster hanging on the back wall.

Steven had a dream about this once.

David is an ass as usual and says that he thinks it's "okay" but it doesn't "blow him away."

Really?

G-Ram shows them the new fresh lobster tank where customers can catch the lobster they will eat. Everyone loves it, and G-Ram tells David that just between them guys, it's actually from Maine, and so are the lobsters. He tells David not touch anything in the decor or he will rip his throat out with his bare hands. Then he sits everyone down and says it's time to market the new restaurant with some help from one of his dear friends:

Steven had a dream about this once, too.

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Posted in Kitchen Nightmares by AuJew at 1:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: kloewent on Nov 18, 2008 09:46 AM.