Testimonials

And that does it. Sebastian storms out cursing and screaming, and proceeds to march all over the restaurant yelling at the camera crew to get the f out. "THIS IS MY PLACE! MIIIIINNNNE!" After circling the restaurant for awhile, he finally makes his way to Gordon's dressing room area, which is locked. He rips the door open and starts shouting for Ramsay. Gordo comes right up to his face, which calms Sebastian down a bit. Or makes him shit his pants. Or both. Just before he can whip out the "be a man" taunt, Sebastian tells him to talk to him like a man. Silence. Good one, Sebastian! Gordo stays calm, which makes Sebastian so angry he finally explodes fat and thin hair all over the camera lens.

During the commercial break, Sebastian is swept up and poured back into his skin sack. Now he's crying like a little girl. Finally, he admits that he hasn't made any money and maybe he is kind of a failure. Now you're getting it! He drinks a few beers and tries to call his parents, but even they're ignoring his calls at this point. It's time to try and change.

Finally, less Cape Fear and more Awakenings.

When he walks back into the kitchen, the staff of tossers is silent, waiting to get their heads bashed into the mixer. But something else happens. Sebastian starts to...work. He's miraculously learned to run the kitchen, and food starts going out on time and the customers are happy. He tells us that he's learned his lesson and can now see that everything Ramsay said is right. Wow. Yet another five minute miracle sponsored by FOX. Gordo gathers the tossers around and congratulates them on a job well done, even though he tells us that he knows Sebastian's just going back to his old ways the second he leaves. Come on. He'd have to be either be stupid or really, really, crazy not to listen to you.

Oh, yeah.

Epilogue: Just had lunch at Sebastian's with miss Ting Lee, who kept looking for frost bite on everything and was disappointed that she didn't get to see Lou-Bertha toss dough. I was disappointed that I didn't get to see Sebastian throw his arms up in the air and shout "I WON THAT ONE!" He was there, though, sticking to his side of the kitchen. He added a bunch of his CRAZY back onto the menu, but the 20 gourmet flavor combos are gone, and so, from the looks of it, are all of the employees. The out of work actresses were replaced with out of work actors, which is no fun at all. The pizza guy did use the wood burning oven for our pizzas, which I thought was impressive. We started with the fries covered in brown goo, which turned out to be a mixture of gravy and chili. Thank God I smoked a bowl beforehand, cuz it was actually pretty good. My white pizza was bland and boring, and Ting's chicken wing pizza was insane. Chicken, buffalo sauce, blue cheese...wow. Sebastian didn't go to any of the tables to spread around his "charm", but he did scratch his balls a lot and pick his ears. The only thing it looks like he doesn't cook is the pizza, so I was glad we didn't order a sandwich. The publicity didn't seem to do much for the place's business, but the people who were there were totally up and coming LA. And by up and coming I mean really old couples who didn't talk to each other during lunch. So the big question was, did he listen to Gordo? The answer is kinda sorta, which is a huge step for Sebastian. I think they both won that one. And I gained five pounds.

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Posted in Kitchen Nightmares by Flipit at 6:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)
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