That makes two of us.
Pomona is an up and coming city in East LA. By "up and coming" I mean a lot of antiques dealers put up shop there. They put up shop there because the rent is dirt cheap. The rent is dirt cheap because Pomona is ghetto. Not like candy store that sells individual cigarettes for a quarter through big thick bullet proof glass ghetto (you have to go a few miles east to Riverside for that), but you you'll never hear anyone say "I'm gonna propose today. I think I'll take her to a fancy restaurant in Pomona." There's a big effort underway to make the city an artsy enclave, but for now it's that place I fear I'll have to move to if I ever make the official leap from sarcastic sad sack to ranting raving lunatic and just give up on life.
Olympia Dukakis fled Hollywood, changed her name, and opened a restaurant there when the crushing throngs of paparazzi finally started to break her spirit. It's hard being one of the world's biggest sex symbols all the way into your seventies. Sometimes a girl just wants to sit down for a minute and breathe.
I loved you in Steel Magnolias.
"Lela", as she's calling herself these days, describes Lela's as a fine dining restaurant. Cut to the kitchen guys laughing their asses off. Lela was quite an actress in her past life, but she's never been much in the Human Resources Department.
Her head waitress is Tabitha, who reminds me of one of those women you see on Cops that lights a cigarette with shaky hands right when the police show up at her trailer and says things like "he didn't hiiiit me!" before telling the cops to mind their own business and then chasing some fat drunk guy in his underwear around with a baseball bat. In other words, Tabitha is one classy lady.
Get me a side of rice or I'll cut your fu**ing eyes out motherfuc**er!
Lela's head Chef is Ricky, who humbly opens with "I'm hot, that's what it comes down to." Riiiiight. You know those guys with sideways hats who freestyle rap without rhyming once and then bust out Stayin Alive moves and call it krumping?
Wanksta
Taking this episode from highly entertaining to just beautiful is this guy:
I think I bought some incense from him a while back.
Daniel's earned the name Buzzard because he's always swooping down on anything edible that isn't locked up. I didn't know this was a crime until this show pointed it out to me by painting Buzzard as the lowest of the low. Watching a montage of him shamelessly chowing down to clown music and sad horns makes me feel like shit. I just got home from work as a waiter and this montage could have been starring me, except my montage would be accompanied by Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious" and I'd be standing in better lighting. As a matter of fact, I'm eating ice cream I brought home from the restaurant as I type this. I guess that's wrong. You know what tastes really good with chocolate ice cream? Guilt. It's like they were born for each other.
Sad piano tinkles and violins. Hoorah! It's time for Lela's "About to Lose it All" monologue. She put all of her retirement money into Lela's and has borrowed over sixty thousand bucks from her sister and another sixty from the bank. She's even sold her Oscar! Olympia noooooo! Wait. What kind of sister lends you sixty grand? I'd never work another day in my life. Anyhoo, Lela's screwed unless she gets a miracle. You already got one. Your sister. If your not thanking your lucky stars every second of every day send that sucker to me. I'll appreciate her (money).
Today her miracle is wearing a studly bomber jacket. I gotta say, pock marks, anger, and highlights aren't normally my thing, but the more I watch this show, the more Gordo's swaying me.
Pock marks, anger, and highlights. Who knew?
The staff is nervous to meet him. A bimbo waitress giggles about wanting to hear his funny accent and Tabitha doesn't know anything about Chef Ramsay except that he yells a lot and she don't take nobody yellin at her. Anybody! Oooh, this is gonna be a good one!
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Comments (9)
at the end of the show where they said that lela's shut down cuz she went broke, i didnt know whether to laugh my ass off at the abruptness of the announcement right after the happy turn-around or cry because it was depressing....
....i decided to laugh.
that line right there made the whole so-so episode a delight!
1 of 9 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 27, 2007 6:41 AM
For most of the episode that Lela person didn't do a damn thing. No instruction to her staff, no supervision, no leadership. Then Golden Gordon sent her off for a makeover and she developed the guts to sack a thief.
Wow.
Another crappy American remake of a decent British show. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.
2 of 9 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on November 27, 2007 1:58 PM
What are you talking about? the fact that idiot Americans are in this, make it sweeter than the British version. And the final voiceover of "by the way Lela's closed." is classic.
Good recap, dude. And there is no shame in feeding yourself from the resteraunt freezer. It is how I got through college. In fact, i don't think I ever ate so well. Me and Buzz are goign to be having a hobo potluck feel free to come on by.
3 of 9 | Posted by mattypopo | Posted on November 27, 2007 4:38 PM
You know I bet the English version of this show is better. It's always way more entertaining watching people with no teeth try to talk! I'm kidding, sort of.
Great recap flipit.
4 of 9 | Posted by CheriesTake | Posted on November 27, 2007 5:30 PM
The episode was funny and the recap even more so. Tabitha reminds me of the waitresses at Waffle House, which is probably where she should be working not at an alleged fine dining establishment. And why, oh why did Lela sink her retirement savings, not to mention her sister's $60K into a restaurant? Restaurants are iffy investments anyway, and given how Flipit describes Pomona in the recap, it doesn't sound like a fine dining place had a shot in hell at success in that area. I hope Lela's sister has so more money to lend her so that she doesn't spend her golden years homeless.
5 of 9 | Posted by greeneyes | Posted on November 27, 2007 10:09 PM
hahaha! Oh, man. I just went back and re-read this a second time, and I think I laughed louder. Well done, flipit! Diamonds on my Fish is the next big thing! I can see it now... the picture on the CD is a cartoon salmon making the west-side signal and showing off his bling. Diamonds, indeed.
I love this show. I was very sad when Lela's closed down... I was in the middle of tearing up at Ramsey's speech to Ricky... and then they went and did THAT BAWWWW.
6 of 9 | Posted by trey | Posted on November 28, 2007 2:03 AM
Lela had NO business opening a restaurant. In addition to not having a clue about what would work in that dumpy neighborhood (I have read comments that the camera crew must have taped reels of footage to get those nice shots), she let her employees treat her like a door mat.
7 of 9 | Posted by ubiquitous | Posted on January 4, 2008 2:01 AM
Lela had NO business opening a restaurant. In addition to not having a clue about what would work in that dumpy neighborhood (I have read comments that the camera crew must have taped reels of footage to get those nice shots), she let her employees treat her like a door mat.
8 of 9 | Posted by ubiquitous | Posted on January 4, 2008 2:02 AM
Lela had NO business opening a restaurant. In addition to not having a clue about what would work in that dumpy neighborhood (I have read comments that the camera crew must have taped reels of footage to get those nice shots), she let her employees treat her like a door mat.
9 of 9 | Posted by ubiquitous | Posted on January 4, 2008 2:04 AM