Testimonials

Of course Michel's way of dealing with this is to spit on them and call them idiots. The customers, who are hungry and pissed off, start getting all dramatic for the cameras. The poor waiters are literally crying on the floor while they get their asses handed to them by the fug real people. Sammy keeps switching back and forth between an English and an American accent and gets so discombobulated that she starts babbling fake Spanish and turning in circles for no reason. When Michel yells at Jane, she finally peaces out and runs into the street sobbing, telling us that this is hands down the lowest day of this restaurant's life. Oh, honey, wait til this episode airs. Today will seem like a birthday party at CiCi's pizza. She lies down on train tracks, but turns out they're for a trolley that slows to a stop and refuses to move until she's out of the way.

Gordo stands back and watches, horrified, and tells us that this is the most unorganized restaurant he's ever seen. Riiiight. I'll bet you say that to all the girls. Michel gives up and slams his hands down on the counter. Keetchen is CLOZE! Once Sammy is back down to two accents and Jane is brought in from laying in traffic, Gordo gathers the staff to give them his report. The waiters were taking food out that wasn't theirs and selling specials that didn't exist. Communication sucks. Michel, about to pop, shrugs and looks down the line of his staff. "We can all communycade heuh!"

Are you sure you don't wanna try harder? I think I hear a Greyhound coming.

Gordo just shouts at him to shut up and says that he will make this restaurant a success come hell or high water. Michel looks like he's considering jumping on top of Ramsay and throttling him, but then he sees that the cameras are still on and holds it in.

Since Michel has been more of an a hole than most of the lunatics the producers found to be on this show, Gordo breaks the format and gathers the staff to remove every single piece of granny china and three inch thick tapestry instead of waiting til they're all gone to let his crew in. Michel hasn't had a complete breakdown yet, which just won't do for Ramsay. He's going to rub his nose in every moment of this makeover. Michel protests the whole time, but when the giant frog is being carried away, he screams and drops to the floor, kicking and screaming. "NOOOO!!! NOT ZE VROOOGGG!!!"

Once the demolition is complete, they are sent away so that Gordo's team can rearrange the furniture, change the drapes, and throw some candles on the tables. As usual, the change is dramatic and definitely for the better, and as usual with the owners, Michel is stunned silent at first. And then, HE COMPLAINS!

Now you're getting it.

After telling Michel tough shit, Gordo gathers the staff to unveil the new menu. Gone is...well, everything that Michel did. It's all been replaced with simple, non-crusted, non-strawberry and cheesed, unspit on American food. And Ramsay's brought in a verrry important guest! OOOooooh! I hope it's the mayor! Better! A food critic! Oh man. Taking away the man's pride by rewriting his entire menu is one thing, but inviting a critic to review Gordo's work is just low. I love it! Michel keeps his tail between his legs while the staff high fives each other and giggles like they've been given a new lease on life. When he thinks the cameras are all turned off, he pulls out a wallet pic of the fat chef statue and rocks back and forth with it, singing "Frera Jaca".

The FOX trolley pulls to a stop outside and the real people unload. Gordo stands at the door and every time an old person tries to enter, he flicks them on the forehead and barks "NO." The restaurant fills to capacity and no one in there looks like they might be having their last meal on Earth tonight. Even Miss California is in the house! She makes being a beauty queen look easy. Like, waaaay too easy. Come on, California, this is the best we could do? Hell, if that bitch can do it, so can I. Vote for Flipit! Speaking of beauty queens...

The place is already packed to capacity when a bus from a local vineyard pulls up and lets more people off! This one isn't from FOX, and Gordo didn't know they were coming so some oldies slipped in. Who brings a busload of twenty four people to a restaurant without calling first?

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Posted in Kitchen Nightmares by Flipit at 4:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
Last Comment: pinkberries on Nov 15, 2008 09:52 PM.