***Letter from the Editor: Please give a warm welcome to your newest recapper and one of your faves from Auditiongasm, AuJew!
For the very special, 2-hour premier episode of Kitchen Nightmares, Chef Gordon Ramsay revisits last season's biggest train wrecks to see if any of the people he scared shitless have yet to regain control of their bowels.
We've got cheers, jeers, a whole lot of tears, and we've got G-Ram red-faced and screaming in tight tee shirts and fitted jeans--all the good stuff--after the jump!
Hello Gasmii, and thank you for joining me on my first official recap. I'm AuJew! I'm a bit nervous, especially as I'm recapping an episode that's essentially a recap in and of itself, but I promise to do my best.
For the season opener, G-Ram revisits his favorite delinquents from last season to see how they've fared so far, which immediately makes me wonder if they just figure out which restaurants were the most successful due to G-Ram's help, and visited those to make him look like Tippity-Top Chef. This promises to be a pretty warm-fuzzy episode, but I'll do my best to make fun of it anyway. What would be awesome is if at least one of these places didn't make it, and G-Ram and his camera crew show up to a vacant lot with a bunch of hobos roasting pigeon over a trash can fire. Hey, he did tell them to refocus their menu.
Since I saw about half of last season, I'm pleased that at least 3 or 4 of the revisits today are to restaurants that I'm already curious about. The first stop is a place called Finn McCool's, an Irish pub run by an Irish family. I happened to see this episode, and I'm eager to see what happened to the sweet, portly dad/owner Buddy, his daughter in law Melissa, a waitress who still wears her ponytails on top of her head like it's 1995, and Buddy's son Brian, the chef who looks suspiciously like a leprechaun.
They're always after me lucky charms!
Prior to G-Ram's visit, Finn McCool's was in debt in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, and Buddy had yet to cash a paycheck. This was also the only place whose food G-Ram's stomach physically rejected (he barfed up the shepherd's pie in the bathroom). He whipped them all into shape within weeks, teaching Buddy how to manage, Melissa how to serve, and Brian how to cook. A year later, Buddy is still parked at the bar. But is he paying for his beer with a recent paycheck? Brian is still in the kitchen, but has he delivered the pot o'gold?
Everyone seems happy (surprise!) and they are out of debt and making money (even bigger surprise!). Buddy says he had a "glitch" there for a little bit--as in, a heart attack. Minor glitch.
It's okay, I can always get a new one.
They banded together though, (aw) and Finn McCool's pulled through. G-Ram shakes buddy's hand, and compliments him on his superhuman grip. Aw, G-Ram is so cute when he plays nice! He asks Brian all about the menu, and Brian tells him that G-Ram's suggestions have turned him into an actual chef as opposed to a guy who stands in front of a deep fryer and tosses random flash-frozen crap into it. G-Ram stays for a bite, and loves it. Hugs, tears, and beers all around. The best part is when heart attack survivor Buddy chugs a dark lager in two minutes flat. Well, I suppose if you haven't got much time left, best to enjoy it.
If it's a microbrewery, does that count as "natural causes?"
Next, G-Ram revisits the Olde Stone Mill, a restaurant in a beautiful building that had suffered from problems with less than beautiful food. Dean was a hot-tempered, arrogant restauranteur and his wife had no idea that they collectively owed $500,000 on their failing restaurant. Way to pick a winner.
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Comments (12)
Oh, wow. You totally called our that airbrushing (severely annoying). Great captions as well.
And I can't help but remember that with actual episodes, brings that little moment in time when Gordon changes out of his civilian clothes into his chef's jacket. Yum.
1 of 12 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on September 8, 2008 2:37 PM
Hey, AuJew, welcome.
What is up with everybody lusting after Ramsay? The man scares the living daylights out of me?
Anyway: There was one failure conspicuously missing. Lela's. Apparently, it didn't even stay open long enough for the show to air, like, it hit the wall while other episodes were still being shot. Heh.
2 of 12 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on September 8, 2008 7:42 PM
Count me in on the G-Ram lust bandwagon. The fact that he's a little scary sometimes just makes it better...
3 of 12 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on September 9, 2008 4:53 AM
alex_w: agreed, can't wait til thursday, when he's back to his usual, delightfully brooding chef self.
Anonymous: Thanks!! I do remember seeing an episode from last season of a restaurant that had closed and they mentioned it before the credits. Is that the same one? My mom loves Ramsay too. I don't know what it is. Something about a man who can cook like that and scream like that. He's probably excellent in bed.
wintersux: Couldn't agree more. There's something very appealing about a man with that kind of ability to intimidate the biggest, craziest Italians from the tri-state area.
4 of 12 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 9, 2008 6:42 AM
Welcome AuJew! We have the "sister shows" (I'm doing the "Kitchen Nightmares" ripoff, "Salon Takeover With Tabatha") so we're almost like sisters! Er, brothers, I mean (sorry, I forget sometimes that I'm actually a big fat hairy male) except you get a bitchy Englishman and I get a bitchy Australian (same thing, kinda). You did a great job, and I look forward to reading more from you!
love & hugs,
xoxox
J-Mo :)
5 of 12 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 9, 2008 12:29 PM
Welcome AuJew! We have the "sister shows" (I'm doing the "Kitchen Nightmares" ripoff, "Salon Takeover With Tabatha") so we're almost like sisters! Er, brothers, I mean (sorry, I forget sometimes that I'm actually a big fat hairy male) except you get a bitchy Englishman and I get a bitchy Australian (same thing, kinda). You did a great job, and I look forward to reading more from you!
love & hugs,
xoxox
J-Mo :)
6 of 12 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 9, 2008 12:30 PM
Welcome AuJew! We have the "sister shows" (I'm doing the "Kitchen Nightmares" ripoff, "Salon Takeover With Tabatha") so we're almost like sisters! Er, brothers, I mean (sorry, I forget sometimes that I'm actually a big fat hairy male) except you get a bitchy Englishman and I get a bitchy Australian (same thing, kinda). You did a great job, and I look forward to reading more from you!
love & hugs,
xoxox
J-Mo :)
7 of 12 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 9, 2008 12:31 PM
Okay, normally I don't repeat myself thrice over, but I had weirdness with posting that last comment. Sorry 'bout that!
love, J-Mo :)
8 of 12 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 9, 2008 2:11 PM
LMAO j-mo!!!!! that was a hot mess and i loved it.
you may have known me by a former name, mrsdaddytom. it didn't feel right to maintain that handle when i wasn't recapping top chef. thought it was time for a fresh one.
so yay! we can be snarkettes together on sister shows!!! love and kisses to you! xoxox
9 of 12 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 9, 2008 2:22 PM
AuJew/mrsdaddytom! Congrats on joining the recapping family and GREAT JOB on your first recap!!!
10 of 12 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on September 9, 2008 9:42 PM
Welcome AuJew! Great recap. Considering how boring this episode actually was, I was suprised I could actually laugh while reading instead of staring quizzically at the random assortment of letters displayed due to you falling asleep on the keyboard after having to blog such a boring ass episode. It's so nice to see I'm not the only one who's completely in love with G-Ram...he's a sexy, sexy man. Imagine, a man who could blow your mind in bed and then make an amazing breakfast the next morning..
Anyway, enough daydreaming. I can't wait to see what kind of garbage pail restaurants are on deck for this season. When seeing the before and after shots of each place after the experiencing the magic that is Gordon Ramsay, it kinda makes me want to steer clear of any eateries that don't have a silver spoon plaque hanging on a wall.
11 of 12 | Posted by jaded | Posted on September 10, 2008 5:43 PM
Thanks for the recap, AuJew - glad to see you transitioned over from TC. (which the TC Tour Bus is coming to my town next weekend, and I'd be all OMG!OMG!OMG! about except Daddy Tom won't be there. Boo... )
And yeah, there's something about Gordon... maybe it's the slightly psychotic, he'd-do-you-against-a-walkin-cooler-wall-then-go-back-to-making-risotto vibe I get off him. MmmmmMMMM!
"Meatball with chiclet teeth!" Perfect! :)
12 of 12 | Posted by teri00 | Posted on September 12, 2008 10:17 AM