This week on Kitchen Nightmares, G-Ram stacks two completely independent episodes in a two hour block for no apparent reason. All the obnoxiousness you can eat, after the jump.
What? You don't see my strongly linked themes of erm...family togeth...umm...strength in advers...oh, fuck it. Let's just do this bitch.
The first of the two restaurants is called Trobiano's in Great Neck, New York, and is owned by Anthony Trabiano and his girlfriend Tiffany's parents, Joe and Pat. Anthony says that he decided he should ask his girlfriend's parents to subsidize his efforts because he was sick of busting his ass for other people. For some reason, this made Tiffany's folks think he would be a great future son-in-law.
Yeah, he's grrreeeeeaaaaaat.
Surprisingly enough, the restaurant isn't doing too hot, and neither is Tiffany and Anthony's relationship. Tiffany also feels guilty that she's put her parents in the position of not being able to retire anytime soon, though if we listen to the latest news from Wall Street, retirement is going the way of the dinosaurs. And chivalry. And, hopefully, tapered jeans. Once. And. For. All. People!
G-Ram arrives at Trobiano's and immediately thinks it's for sale because of the huge, tacky early bird dinner special sign in the window. Apparently, that is the only business Trobiano's does. "Fourteen ninety-five? Fuck me, that's cheaper than the sub shop."
HAHA Trobianos < Three Five-Dolla Footlongs
He sits the family down and asks for the details of the situation. He's appalled that Anthony opened up a restaurant with his girlfriend's parents' money at the age of 25 without ever having worked in an Italian restaurant before. The guy hasn't even slung a pizza, but he was sick of bustin' his ass for other people. Like in 5th grade, when he had to do fuckin' homework? That shit was messed up.
Anthony is extremely offended that G-Ram thinks it's his fault that the restaurant isn't doing too well. He's only the co-owner and head chef, after all, how much control could he possibly have over the situation? G-Ram demands to know who's idea it was to put the tacky sign in the window. Anthony admits that it was his. Love-fifteen, G-Ram.
G-Ram tells them all to think very hard about what they've done, and he'll be back in an hour. Joe thinks that he was high to have even gotten into this mess, and Anthony thinks that at the end of the day, it's his name on the awning, not G-Ram's. This of course will not stop G-Ram from carving his name directly into the flesh on Anthony's left asscheek, however.
Circus music begins to play as 4:30 rolls around and all the little old ladies shuffle in for the early bird special. G-Ram comes in for his initial tasting.
The waiter recommends that G-Ram order the salmon with spaghetti, because he can take the spaghetti home and have it for lunch the next day, or as he prefers, a snack after his nightly doob. G-Ram is especially pleased to find that $14.95 actually gets you a two-for-one. He also notices one of the elderly patrons has fallen asleep into his dinner. If this joint gets any more jumpin', the NYPD may need to get involved.
G-Ram pushes his appetizer around on his plate, and then notices a table of fine ladies next to his.
How U doin'??
He sidles up to them and asks what they've got in their doggie bags. "So you're not coming back tomorrow, because you can have that for lunch?" he asks. One of the hot mamas tells him she likes his british accent. He says "Thank you. I like your lipstick." They all flit about and wet their Depends and he thanks them for letting him crash the set of the Golden Girls and asks Bea Arthur for her autograph.
G-Ram returns to his chicken-wrapped shrimp. He calls Joe over to ask why in the name of all things holy a person would wrap a shrimp in chicken. "I don't know, it's just one of his creations." G-Ram says he's never had such a tough shrimp before, and Joe brings the plate back into the kitchen screaming "ANTHONY! YOUR SHRIMP WAS TOO HARD! ROCK HARD, LIKE A BULLET!!" Hm, I think that happened to my friend once. If it lasts for more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical attention.
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Comments (13)
I'd guess it was two hours to compete with the 2 hr Survivor debut.
1 of 13 | Posted by DaveBrown | Posted on September 30, 2008 6:52 PM
I think it was 2 hrs to compete with the debut of Survivor, which was also 2 hours long.
2 of 13 | Posted by DaveBrown | Posted on September 30, 2008 6:54 PM
Or maybe it has to do with that the VP debate was next thursday hence Hole in the Wall but not Kitchen Nightmares that Thursday.
3 of 13 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on October 1, 2008 12:31 AM
love that my entry has turned into a speculation page about the two hour block of KN this week. especially love that i had no idea there wasn't going to be one this thurday due to the vp debate. part two is coming shortly, and then i'll see you all in two weeks i guess!
4 of 13 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on October 1, 2008 9:15 AM
Dude, it was so creepy the way Gordon decided to take over every aspect of that family's life, including when Chef Dude and Waitress Girl would get married.
5 of 13 | Posted by judec | Posted on October 1, 2008 11:41 AM
They would still need to go get the forms. Basically it was a wedding rehearsal. You can get married in front of a county clerk and just have one or two witnesses. No gowns, no dresses, no cakes.
Also the rest of the family was dressed so they were in on it.
6 of 13 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on October 1, 2008 12:49 PM
They would still need to go get the forms. Basically it was a wedding rehearsal. You can get married in front of a county clerk and just have one or two witnesses. No gowns, no dresses, no cakes.
Also the rest of the family was dressed so they were in on it.
7 of 13 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on October 1, 2008 12:58 PM
They would still need to go get the forms. Basically it was a wedding rehearsal. You can get married in front of a county clerk and just have one or two witnesses. No gowns, no dresses, no cakes.
Also the rest of the family was dressed so they were in on it.
8 of 13 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on October 1, 2008 1:03 PM
Ugh I hate when a commenting system gets a glitch and posts the same message several times.
9 of 13 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on October 1, 2008 2:22 PM
Ugh I hate when a commenting system gets a glitch and posts the same message several times.
10 of 13 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on October 1, 2008 2:34 PM
Ugh I hate when a commenting system gets a glitch and posts the same message several times.
11 of 13 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on October 1, 2008 2:36 PM
I agree, the whole wedding deal was pretty lame and contrived. On the previews they had showed everyone crying at the end, making it look like it ends up a disaster. I was so hoping they would have revealed that Anthony is banging the dishwasher, Tiffany hits him with a frying pan, the place goes bankrupt, etc. But no. I don't like the happy ending! G-Ram, you and I can save that for later, ya mean?
12 of 13 | Posted by shelleyh | Posted on October 2, 2008 11:14 AM
Great job AuJew! The dirty "early bird" special was especially comical, and I was thinking "Who wants to get married if Gordon Ramsay is going to be in charge of it?" I mean, the man can cook, but from the sounds of it, he don't know jack about jewelry!
much love,
xoxox
J-Mo :)
13 of 13 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 3, 2008 7:36 AM