Welcome to
Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. How did I end up recapping this show? S-e-n-i-o-r-i-t-y...and karma. Please, don't feel bad for me.
Interesting fact: I googled "Kardashian" and "cure for cancer" and I only got 22,700 hits. I googled "Kardashian" and "whore" and got 10,800,000 hits. Lovely! If it isn't annoying families like the ones on The Great American Road Trip, it's whores! ARGH! FML! Score count for this show: -30...without actually watching the show yet. That part comes after the jump.
So. Not. About. Me.
I decided to wiki both Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian because I'm not really familiar with their work...or lack of work. Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant. Congratulations. Whose the daddy? Her boyfriend Scott Visick. Alright...nothing wrong with that...wait, there's more? She broke up with her two-timing-no-good-cheating boyfriend in February. She's currently 5 months pregnant with her first child. Hum...let's do the math shall we. Brace yourself people, I'm pulling some first grade math here. So August (08) - 5 months pregnant = 3 = March. So she must have conceived the child in March. They broke up in February. Hum...what could that possibly mean? C'mon 1st grade math...save me!...................................OH HELL NO!! She di-i-i-i-n't! She either A) popped the condom with a needle and forgot to take her pill so that he can finally "put a ring on it" or B) she just didn't take any contraceptives. I googled some more and she had a pregnancy scare on her previous reality show. Ya, we're looking at a B) here. Whatever the case, it's not a good look but I wish her well and congrats on the baby! HOWEVER, girls who can't stay away from their cheating boyfriends annoy me. Minus 20. Score count so far: -50.
What about Khloe? Wiki says Miss Khloe has several DUIs. I HATE people who drive under the influence. Minus 50. Score count: -100! Wow, what a great start Kardashians!
So what's this show about? Kourtney and Khloe got tired of being "Kim's sisters", so they decided to go Miami. The opportunity came when they got dumped by their good-for-nothing-boyfriends. What's in store for us this season? You'll see the girls running their mom's business to the ground and begging for male attention. I have a feeling that that's what they used to do on the actual show; but, this time, they won't be overshadowed by their sister's watermelon-shaped ass.
Score count: -150 for the obvious photoshop
The intro begins with that overrated LMFAO song
I'm in Miami Trick. It's Miami "BITCH". The intro is painfully stupid. Let's move on! We begin with a question from miss Khloe. "What do new beginnings mean to you?" she asks from a radio mic. Khloe wants to know your thoughts guys. Share them with her. She wants to be scared with you she says. Hum...there's things like diaries and therapists. It's an economic crisis Khloe, everyone's gotta eat!
The girls are moving in their new place Real World style. They will be staying at the Bentley hotel. This whole thing would be better if you guys were actually struggling like the rest of us. You're not really taking Miami unless you're scraping off the rest of the buttery chocolate from the tiny corners of a nutella container. The best thing the producers could do for these girls and for us is to make them homeless for awhile.
Score -200
The girls tell us that they are opening up their second Dash store. Opening the store is a lot of work so they hired a brunette Paris Hilton lookalike by the name of Lily to do all the work.
Doesn't she???
She will be the manager of Dash. She's nervous because she's going to be managing a new group of girls. One of those girls is Erica. She's one of Kourtney's friends. Pfft, employment equity my ass! They also employed an aspiring model by the name of Carrie. Erica tells Kourtney that they're family after all and that Dash is a family business. This girl has ulterior motives. I'll keep a close eye on you.
The KK'sX2 are both single and this vacation will let them live the single-life. You could have easily found a man back home and saved Ryan Shorteacrest some money.
Comments (1)
Only on page one and did not watch the show...not that bored yet :) But thank you thank you thank you for calling out the photoshopping. from the first time I saw the ad i wondered where the hell the girls knee went (aside from all the other photoshopping on display). Could her knee have been that ugly?
1 of 1 | Posted by tadow | Posted on August 19, 2009 4:05 PM