Bonfire of the Vanities - 
by B-Side
Isn't it nice to know that in these uncertain times of global terrorism and meteorological disasters, some people still find a way to make a difference? To bridge the gaps that divide us all? To offer a helping hand when everyone else just has a cold shoulder? No, I'm not talking about the Red Cross, silly. I'm talking about the United Summit of Alex & Alex: the most important inter-clique peace movement since the Treaty of Versailles. Yes, it was all about letting bygones by bygones on this week's episode of Laguna Beach as the cliques came together for Laguna Aid: A Bonfire for Hope. Unfortunately, every well-intentioned peace treaty has its Gaza Strip, and in the case of the Laguna Ceasefire of 2005, our old friend Jessica managed to unravel this newly woven tapestry of love, destroying days of hard work by those plucky idealists, Alex H. and Alex M.. Man. Can't we all just get along?
The episode began with Kristin yammering away about last week as usual. "Mammoth was such a blast!" she gushed. "But poor Jessica. She had no fun." Oh really? That's a shock. She always seems like such a happy, carefree girl. Who would have thought she'd have her entire snowy vacation ruined by her own neuroses? Oh that's right. EVERYONE.
Turns out Jessica was probably better off staying on the slopes (where's she'd hopefully get frostbite... of the head) because when she came home, she learned the awful truth about her ex-boyfriend (of two months): he was dating Alex M.. (ORGAN CHORDS!!!) But even worse, according to Kristin, "now she was gonna have to see them at the bonfire." The BONFIRE??? Not... THE BONFIRE!!! It's only like the worst place ever to see your ex boyfriend! O-M-f*ckin-G!!!
But wait! There's more! Kristin had one more gigantic twist in store for us: "At the same time, the two Alexes were making up." Wait, they were fighting? How could no one tell me Roz was in a fight? That's like a major thing. Sidekicks don't battle masters! It's like a small white guy starting shit up with Suge Knight. It just doesn't happen.
Well, as the show began in earnest, we caught a glimpse of some very rare but very welcomed Alex-on-Alex action. Yes, Alex H. (or Roz, as I like to call her, in honor of her Roz from Frasier likeness) and Alex M. met at a diner to set aside whatever problems had fueled their bitter, hardly-noticed fight. Poor Roz. She seemed so sad. I don't know why. After all, she is the undisputed queen of the intro scene. Seriously, she's in every opening scene. I suppose it's the producers' way of mollifying her after her giant snub from the opening credits. Nevertheless, there was business at hand, and Roz had something important to share. "I do want to start hanging out though. Like more. If you want to," she said tentatively. Uh oh. Was Kristin's sidekick jumping ship? Would this be the new era of Alex and Alex? You know, Jason and Alex are Jasalex. So I guess Alex and Alex would be... uh, Alex? Or maybe Aalleexx. Or maybe Alexlex. Or Alalex. I really hope this merger never happens. It'll totally throw off my nicknaming.
|
| | Next Page... 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 ( Comments ) | Discuss In Our Forums |