This week's show started off with Tessa explaining that her semi-sapphic relationship with Raquel was under fire from a jealous interloper yet again. "Now it's Rocky's EX best friend, Breanna, who's trying to come between us!" Tessa announced in her typically clogged-nose voice (we're probably supposed to think this season is building towards some great kiss between Tessa and Chase, but honestly, I'll just be happy if the season finale concludes with her taking a Claritin).

For once we didn't start the show with a boring Tessa/Rocky scene. Instead, we headed up to Conrad Manor where the first lady of Laguna Beach, LC, enjoyed a hot tub with her younger sister and pliant protégé, Breanna. The two talked about Bree-Bree's friends, taking inventory on who was in and who was like totally random (read: out). Turns out Raquel was "on the line," serving probation for skipping Breanna's super sweet sixteenth birthday AND befriending town pariah Tessa. One more strike, and she was out! LC weighed in on the situation by noting, "I like Raquel. She's nice to me. But she makes you upset more than you guys get along." She then added, "Unlike all my boyfriends. They treat me wonderfully. I should call Jason right now. We really need to start dating again."

Lauren then explained, "I had like that core group of friends that like didn't fight. Me and Lo were together for like the last three years of high school, and we just didn't fight." Of course you guys didn't fight! Lo was the sidekick! What sidekick ever raises her voice to her Master? It would be heresy! And in sidekick law, that's a crime punishable by death!

Ultimately, the ever sage LC advised, "You should invite her over to your party to talk about it." And as evidenced by all the other ones ever aired on this show, it's clear that parties are always such great, open, welcoming forums to heal gaping friendship wounds.

After the opening credits, we found Rocky and her personal James Franco, Alex, sitting on the beach, talking about the splendors of Shore Breaking, an adrenaline-pumping activity Raquel and her friends used to play back in the old days. "You stand in a line of you, kind of like Red Rover Red Rover, and you wait for the wave to just crash on you, and then you're just like laying on the beach, dead." Wow. Sounds tsunami-tastic. FYI: this game is not be confused with Truck Breakers, where you stand on a highway with your friends in a line and wait for a truck to crash into you, and then you just lie there on the road, actually dead.

Eventually, Raquel sighed and asked Alex, "Can we just go to the beach every day?" Hmmm... sounds like that might be a tall order, considering they live in Laguna BEACH. Hey Raquel, funny thing about beach communities: they have beaches.