Do They Know It's Christmas Time At All? - 
by B-Side
Like OMG! There was so much scandal on Laguna Beach last night! Kyndra and Cami totally crashed Raquel's party, and then like that girl Stephanie called Cami dirty and then Kyndra made her cry and like Alex showed up and he was totally hot! But then it was like officially the lamest party ever, which was totally random, but like Kyndra had an awesome party at her house the next night and Cami was like "Did you hear what that girl said?" and Kyndra was like "Not again!" and her mom was like "I need to give Chloe a bath!" and Cameron was like "Don't talk to me that way!" and Lexie was like "Rocky's boyfriend is so hot!" and Tessa was like "Let's watch Cinderella man!" It was so standard.
Yes, it was a tale of two parties in tonight's Laguna Beach as gossip and scandal and tales of dirtiness tore at the social fabric of the community. With the Holidays descending on the beachside locale, the whole gang was supposed to celebrate with good cheer and merriment, but wouldn't you know it? The Wicked Witch of the 'Guna flew in on her broomstick and managed to make one girl cry, one boy bolt, and one sleepy show laughably awful, as usual. I'm talking about Kyndra, of course, and she was in typical bitchy form. Along with Cami (who never saw a camera she couldn't pander to), the two queen bees of Laguna managed to be the grinches of this Christmas spectacular. They spent so much time trying to tear poor Raquel down that they completely missed the joy of the holidays: like totally kissing under the mistletoe! But not with each other! Ewww! Gross!
As usual, this week's show started with nasally, mousy narration from Tessa, who was still bemoaning her realization that the band was more important to Chase than she was. Yes, it's hard to believe that wouldn't be entranced by Laguna's very own version of Hello Kitty, but alas, such was the way of Chase. So for now, Tessa had to busy herself as official Christmas elf, helping Rocky hang various Christmas lights on her deck. Easier said than done. Turns out that the mere act of plugging an array of light bulbs in required a keen knowledge of electronics and spatial orientation. Just ask Rocky, who managed to put the Christmas lights up backwards "again." This of course begs the question: how many Laguna girls does it take to plug in a light bulb? Two. One to plug it in, and another to ask expository questions before staring off into space with music playing enigmatically in the background.
Anyway, as the girls erected this eighth wonder of the holiday decorating world, Raquel asked Tessa how her dinner with Chase went. You know, the one where she had ordered a rare fish called tuña (pronounced "too-nya"). Tessa merely shrugged and squeaked that "we're better off just being friends." That was good, considering they weren't actually dating in the first place. That is, unless carrying on terminally boring conversations qualifies as romance these days.
Sadly for Tessa, any hopes of reversing the state of Chase affairs was dashed when she then revealed that the hirsute rocker would not be able to attend Rocky's annual Christmas party. He had band stuff -- you know, an important gig at the town gazebo.
Well, speaking of the Christmas party, Rocky revealed that unlike previous years, she didn't send official invites out. She merely let news spread word of mouth. That being said, she then said she didn't expect Kyndra to show up because she wasn't invited. Well, yeah. She wasn't invited because you didn't send invites out. Funny how that happens.
We then segued into the opening credit and learned that this week's show was called, "We're Gonna Crash A Party!" I would have preferred a more holiday-themed title. Maybe something like "Rocky Got Run Over By A Reindeer." And of course, the reindeer would be an allusion to Kyndra, on account of her doe-like appearance/intelligence.
Anyway, we were then greeted by the sounds of a punk Christmas carol -- how very subversive! -- and in some boutique in town, Kyndra and Cami talked about Kyndra's upcoming Holiday party. They both agreed that Jessica would not be invited, and then Kyndra said, "Let's go through the list: Derrick. Matt--"
"Kelan," Cami said, regretfully interrupting her Master. Silly girl. She should know that no sidekick can cross such a boundary.
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