Okay, I didn't cry. Like Cameron, I am a man, and I keep my feelings inside. Then again, even if I were expressive, there wasn't much in this episode to get the waterworks going. Granted, people left and friends reconciled, but I wouldn't call this the most moving installment in the Laguna pantheon. The good news was that there was plenty of drama to go around, and even though it looked like she might be left out of the hour altogether, our favorite girl, The Lexie, managed to sneak in for a riveting discussion about the perils of sardines in the Caesar Salad universe.

Ah, but I'm getting ahead of myself. The big finale started with none other than Susie greeting us from Times Square where she alerted us that after the season finale, we could go online and see the "after party" with the whole cast. Wow! Can't wait to not watch it! To be honest, I was kind of debating logging on, but then Susie mentioned that there'd be a live performance from Open Air Stereo. I think that was supposed to be a selling point, but instead it just made me avoid MTV.com as if it were the cyber plague.

Anyway, Susie finally shut up, and the show began at long last. Tessa gave us a whole recap of the year, and she ever so euphemistically breezed over her promiscuous endeavors by saying, "I had a lot of fun hanging out with the popular boys." And by "hanging out," she meant "makin' out with all night long." Alas, as fun as it was, she admitted, "I never found true love." OH SADNESS!!! To think, she's seventeen and she hasn't found true love??? It's all over for you now, CRONE! Enjoy life as a spinster!

By the way, I too am completely shocked that Tessa was unable to find true love with Derek and Cameron. I mean, they're just sparkling with personality! Just like Tessa!

Tessa then elaborated as to why Cupid seemed to have ignored her completely: "Probably because I compared everyone to Chase." Well, that's a wonderful standard. I'm sure no man can live up to his unrivaled glut of insightful comments, fascinating observations, and generally complex demeanor.

Yes, Tessa compared everyone to Chase, but big problem: "Too bad his first love is music," she said, adding, "Terrible, terrible music. The kind of music you never, ever want to hear again in your life, especially not on MTV.com."

Once the recap was over, Tessa and Rocky entered the latter's house (as if they'd ever go to Tessa's) where they talked about graduation coming up. Raquel revealed that she was going to give an iPod Nano to Alex, which he was sure to like on account of its general shininess. We also learned that Derek and Kelan would be graduating, which was a surprise to me since I thought everyone on this season except Alex was a junior. Nevertheless, Raquel simply could not believe that her boy would be forever leaving high school behind. "It's so weird that he's graduating!" she said, adding, "Literally. I never thought he'd pass all his classes. He doesn't say a word!"

We then saw the opening credits and this week's title, "See You In A Decade." I think the more apt phrase would have been "See You At The MTV Reunion Show," but that's just me. Anyway, up at Alta Laguna Park, we found Cami and Kyndra playing tennis for no real reason. I think the girls just wanted to showcase their various assets: for Kyndra, her thighs, and for Cami, well, do I even have to say? (Her boobies).