This week's angst-filled episode began with Tessa and Raquel sitting on, appropriately enough, a very rocky beach. Perhaps this was to signal rocky times ahead, or maybe it was just a fine opportunity to make puns about Rocky's name. Either way, we knew that Rocky (the girl, not the beach) was about to fall headfirst into a morass of drama and tears. Why? Because apparently she and Alex had been fighting, and if the MTV promos had been any indication, it looked like their relationship was about to splinter like many a shipwreck on a foggy, rocky beach -- much like the one they were sitting on right there (it all comes full circle!).

Anyway, Rocky explained that on a recent phone call, Alex felt pressured about whatever and Rocky was like super stressed and Alex was kind of cold about her super stress and then they started like yelling at each other and like OMG! Trouble in teen paradise!

Raquel then relayed how she said, "I was like, 'Are you okay? Are you pressured, Alex?'" You know, you just said that he was. Must you always be so redundant always? Nevertheless, when parents get divorced, it's always the children who are hurt the most. But when teens break up, it's always the bland sidekick -- in this case, Tessa. "You and Alex cannot break up!" she pleaded, later adding, "Because then if you don't go on dates, that means I won't be able to watch movies with your parents anymore. AND I ALREADY RENTED A PRICE ABOVE RUBIES!!!"

After the opening credits, we learned this week's show was called "It's, Like, Breakup Season," which apparently was a reference to every single week in Laguna. We soon found Rocky's disgruntled boyfriend Alex skateboarding through town with his sidekick E.J. just feet away. They were like two dashing rogues, swiftly cutting through the seaside community with the sort of reckless abandon we only see in Sunny-D commercials. Their joyrides came to an end, however, when they reached a fence overlooking the ocean, causing E.J. to ponder whether or not the water was still cold. "Yeah, it is," Alex said, further elaborating, "It's freezing." WELL! Consider my maritime climate curiosity sated!

Shockingly, this discussion about Laguna's icy waters soon transitioned onto something slightly more interesting: Raquel. E.J. wanted to know what the deal was with their relationship, but all Alex could really muster was "We had such a gnarly convo." Through further mutterings, we sensed that Alex wasn't particularly happy with Ra-kwell anymore, especially since she seemed to be suffocating him in that most gnarly of ways. He complained, "The relationship is getting way too exclusive." Translation: "Yeah, I'll probably dump her in like ten minutes."

Actually, that really wasn't very far from the truth. Alex revealed that he was gonna go to Rocky's house and tell her to meet him somewhere. Seemed kind of redundant, considering he was already at her house. Must every conversation be at the beach? Whatever happened to the old let's-break-up-on-the-bed technique that Heidi used to well in The Hills?

Anyway, this scene eventually came to an end with an exasperated Alex mumbling, "Too much pressure. Can't deal with that." Yes, poor Alex was under entirely too much strain. I mean, the ocean water was freezing, and on top of that, he had to worry about his girlfriend? NO. TOO MUCH.