Testimonials

For his part, Mike seemed completely bored with his date. Not even the prospect of TV cameras and instant fame could lift his spirits. At least it was better than the Catalina clan, which was probing the spiritual world with some Ouiji Board experimentation. First question: Is Morgan a virgin? Oh the jokesters. Meanwhile, I'm sure the spirits were psyched to finally have a the chance to gossip with the human world. I bet they're sick of having to locate dead people and carry stupid messages all the time. Anyway, the Ouiji session came to an abrupt halt as the pinpoint radar that was Kristin's ears detected an encroaching bear. Within moments, the fire was put out and the kids all retreated to the safety of their tents. They were safe there because, you know, bears can't tear through anything thicker than tissue paper.

Meanwhile, as the girls freaked out, Stephen donned a silly bear costume to fuel the fears. Yes, I'm sure they would believe it too. Apparently the bears in Catalina are covered in felt and have seams up their back. Stephen burst into the girls' tent, resulting in a spate of shrieks followed by laughter and then Kristin's "Stephen, you are so stupid. I'm mad." Honestly, wasn't that a far way to go for a simple joke? I mean, renting a whole bear costume? You might as well prolong the joke more than a mere ten seconds. You know, pretend the bear is sniffing around their tent. If it were me, I would have brought a taxidermied bear head and thrust it into the girls' tent - possibly with a chainsaw too, just for added effect. Now THAT's good bear humor. The upside at least is that now whenever Morgan sees a Teddy bear, she gets nightmares.

Around this time, I'm sure all viewers were probably thinking, man this would have been a lot funnier if a real bear had come and terrorized these kids. Where were the producers? If there was ever a reason to meddle for ratings, this was it.

Eventually the sweet salvation of daylight arrived, and the kids cleaned up the site. With all the food they left out, I'm frankly surprised that a bear really didn't come poking around. While the kids departed for the main land, Christina prepared for her musical debut. Her father, a deep voiced and truly annoying man, lulled his congregation to sleep in true Rev. Lovejoy style (oh yeah, he's the reigning Reverend at the Crystal Cathedral - not Lovejoy, but Christina's dad). Taking a page from Mr. Miyagi, Christina's dad babbled about "Wax On, Wax Off" and how that relates to being a good Christian. Uh... I suppose next week's sermon will detail the importance of why nobody puts Baby in the corner. Christina eventually took to the stage and managed to not shatter the glass cathedral with her determinedly flat voice. The burgeoning thrush was warmly received, especially by Randy and Paula, but Jesus was all "That was a total disaster. Horrible." Man, he's such a hardass. I think he does it for the ratings.

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Posted in Laguna Beach by B-Side at 9:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (13)
Last Comment: joslyn on Dec 3, 2004 07:57 PM.