Comedy Isn't Pretty - 
by copygodd
First off, let me apologize to the handful of TVgasm regulars still watching Last Comic Standing for missing my recap last week. As I'm sure I've complained about, I'm also recapping Rock Star: Supernova, which airs at the same time, so I don't get to watch LCS until Thursday nights. Normally, that's not a problem, but last week I had a big presentation Friday morning, and then got called away to a camping emergency up near Mount Evans over the weekend. By the time I got home Sunday night, I just didn't feel like writing a Monday recap for a Tuesday show. So I didn't. Yeah, I'm a lazy fuck. Seriously, I just lay there.
From reading the forums and catching the quick recap at the start of this week's episode, however, it doesn't seem like I missed much of anything except another chance to rag on Zoobabe's favorite comedian, Gary Gulman. Since I'm trying to recapture some goodwill for missing last week's recap, I'll say something nice about Gary here: he's funnier than colon cancer.
And Dane Cook.
Yeah, I know I already used that joke in the forums. But do you have any idea how hard it is to recap a show that's nothing but so-so comedy routines? At least the first few episodes had challenges; now I got nothing but mid-card performers who can't even go blue for fear of starting another Tittiegate. Damn you Janet and your floppy breastesses!
Anyway...
Tonight's episode starts off with more-manic-than-usual Anthony Clark sprinting across the stage to actual applause. I think he was so stunned by the fact that people were clapping for him that he resorted to an old cliché: "Who let the dogs out?" In and of itself, that wouldn't be so bad except he answered his own question by saying "I'm guessing Mel Gibson." Which doesn't make a lick of sense, unless the crowd was chanting "Death to Jews!"
Which they weren't.
What show is she watching?
Next, Anthony brings out the four finalists: Michele Balin, Ty Barnett, Josh Blue and Chris Porter. Who will be going home this week? We'll find out after enduring the comedy stylings of Jay London. You might remember Jay from Seasons Two and Three of LCS. Which is unfortunate, because he hasn't changed his act a bit since then. Evidently, he hasn't changed his clothes since then either.
Jay's act is best described as a cross between Captain Caveman, Debbie Downer and that dirty homeless guy who's always taking a dump in the alley. Yeah, that one. Here's a typical joke in Jay's trademarked delivery: "I went out with a promiscuous female impressionist and she does everybody. I went out with a female... These are the jokes, ma'am. I'm sorry. Thank you."
On the plus side, he's funnier than Gary Gulman.
I just need 25-cents for the bus.
Remember when Anthony said he'd reveal the final three after Jay's set? He lied. Because now we have to sit through five minutes of Caroline Rhea. This is bringing back bad memories of my time recapping The Biggest Loser. I bet if Matt's in the audience he'll start to cry.
Good times...
Caroline's act is nothing to write home about either. Or, for that matter, to write a recap about.
Finally, it's time to reveal who was eliminated after last week's voting. So Anthony brings the comics back out on stage again. Only this time he does it in a different order: Ty, Michele, Josh and Chris. Does that matter? Not really.
I love this commercial.
You know, I tried to come up with a clever nickname for Anthony when he cuts people, ala the Hatchet Man or the Tommyhawk. First I came up with the Hack-it Man. Which I shortened to the Hack Man. But finally I just settled on Hack.
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