First off, let me apologize to the handful of TVgasm regulars still watching Last Comic Standing for missing my recap last week. As I'm sure I've complained about, I'm also recapping Rock Star: Supernova, which airs at the same time, so I don't get to watch LCS until Thursday nights. Normally, that's not a problem, but last week I had a big presentation Friday morning, and then got called away to a camping emergency up near Mount Evans over the weekend. By the time I got home Sunday night, I just didn't feel like writing a Monday recap for a Tuesday show. So I didn't. Yeah, I'm a lazy fuck. Seriously, I just lay there.
From reading the forums and catching the quick recap at the start of this week's episode, however, it doesn't seem like I missed much of anything except another chance to rag on Zoobabe's favorite comedian, Gary Gulman. Since I'm trying to recapture some goodwill for missing last week's recap, I'll say something nice about Gary here: he's funnier than colon cancer.
And Dane Cook.
Yeah, I know I already used that joke in the forums. But do you have any idea how hard it is to recap a show that's nothing but so-so comedy routines? At least the first few episodes had challenges; now I got nothing but mid-card performers who can't even go blue for fear of starting another Tittiegate. Damn you Janet and your floppy breastesses!
Anyway...
Tonight's episode starts off with more-manic-than-usual Anthony Clark sprinting across the stage to actual applause. I think he was so stunned by the fact that people were clapping for him that he resorted to an old cliché: "Who let the dogs out?" In and of itself, that wouldn't be so bad except he answered his own question by saying "I'm guessing Mel Gibson." Which doesn't make a lick of sense, unless the crowd was chanting "Death to Jews!"
Which they weren't.
What show is she watching?
Next, Anthony brings out the four finalists: Michele Balin, Ty Barnett, Josh Blue and Chris Porter. Who will be going home this week? We'll find out after enduring the comedy stylings of Jay London. You might remember Jay from Seasons Two and Three of LCS. Which is unfortunate, because he hasn't changed his act a bit since then. Evidently, he hasn't changed his clothes since then either.
Jay's act is best described as a cross between Captain Caveman, Debbie Downer and that dirty homeless guy who's always taking a dump in the alley. Yeah, that one. Here's a typical joke in Jay's trademarked delivery: "I went out with a promiscuous female impressionist and she does everybody. I went out with a female... These are the jokes, ma'am. I'm sorry. Thank you."
On the plus side, he's funnier than Gary Gulman.
I just need 25-cents for the bus.
Remember when Anthony said he'd reveal the final three after Jay's set? He lied. Because now we have to sit through five minutes of Caroline Rhea. This is bringing back bad memories of my time recapping The Biggest Loser. I bet if Matt's in the audience he'll start to cry.
Good times...
Caroline's act is nothing to write home about either. Or, for that matter, to write a recap about.
Finally, it's time to reveal who was eliminated after last week's voting. So Anthony brings the comics back out on stage again. Only this time he does it in a different order: Ty, Michele, Josh and Chris. Does that matter? Not really.
I love this commercial.
You know, I tried to come up with a clever nickname for Anthony when he cuts people, ala the Hatchet Man or the Tommyhawk. First I came up with the Hack-it Man. Which I shortened to the Hack Man. But finally I just settled on Hack.
"Of the thousands of comics who began this journey, only these four remain," Hack tells us. Man, that's just sad. Josh is the first one to be spared. Next, Ty is given a reprieve. That brings us down to Michele and Chris. America voted, and decided that Chris is funnier than Michele. Smell ya later, Michele!
Four more jokes!
In her retrospective, Michele says she just wants to be recognized for years and years of working. I don't. I'd rather get paid for years and years of working. I want to be recognized for sitting on my ass doing nothing. Which is why TVgasm is such a perfect fit. Well, sort of. We don't really get paid anything. Except an occasional love offering. And when he's in town, EdHill always leaves a dead bird on my front porch.
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Comments (12)
Wait...this show is still on?
1 of 12 | Posted by Vidle
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Posted on August 4, 2006 9:20 AM
u obviously haven't heard Dane Cook's Harmful If Swallowed cd
2 of 12 | Posted by IrideBlimp
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Posted on August 4, 2006 9:26 AM
IrideBlimp, are you admitting to being a Cook fan?
3 of 12 | Posted by The Svan
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Posted on August 4, 2006 9:57 AM
This show is just lame. I watched 10 minutes the other night and that was 9 minutes too long for me!
I saw that Josh Blue comedian that night and he looked very familiar. It then hit me. I saw him on "Mind of Mencia" (Season I) comedy skits. By the way he acted, I don't believe he suffers from MS.
4 of 12 | Posted by milostea
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Posted on August 4, 2006 11:02 AM
Thanks for putting up with this show for us, Copygodd. I still watch. Josh is my favorite.
5 of 12 | Posted by Lyndsay
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Posted on August 4, 2006 11:14 AM
Jay London is a poor man's Steven Wright. Literally, as I suspect he may actually be homeless.
6 of 12 | Posted by RealityMonkey
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Posted on August 4, 2006 11:22 AM
Thanks for grabbing the cutaway of the two women clapping for Caroline Rhea...that was the best part of the show. Namely, when you could clearly see the woman on the left say to the other "Oh NOW I know who she is!" Genius.
Regarding Dane Cook, I got his "Harmful if Swallowed" CD for free, and I'd never heard or seen him before. I liked it. I STILL like it...but then I watched Tourgasm. Never have I seen such a self-indulgent, self-congratulatory, "look at me, I'm FAMOUS NOW!" piece of crap in my life. It was the WORST.
7 of 12 | Posted by suedisco
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Posted on August 4, 2006 11:25 AM
I think Chris is going to win this thing; with Ty coming in second.
Jay London is a sweetie, teddy bear. But didn't he have a whole bunch of body hair, especially his arms, shoulders, chest on his season?
Dane Cook sucks
8 of 12 | Posted by boomersmommy
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Posted on August 4, 2006 12:15 PM
Thanks for apologizing, copygodd. To be honest, I didn't even notice the missing recap. I kind of thought the show was over. I like that Geico commercial, too. Little Richard: crazy man.
9 of 12 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on August 4, 2006 3:37 PM
I think I'm basing this one on who I would most likely want to have sex with, so Chris Porter is my favorite. But I feel compelled to like Ty because he asked to be my friend on MySpace.
10 of 12 | Posted by becca
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Posted on August 4, 2006 4:57 PM
I feel really popular now with cgodd loving to hate who I love most in the comedy world. Good for you to keep watching cgodd, and don't worry...you're still funnier than projectile vomit. :)
11 of 12 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on August 4, 2006 6:49 PM
Oh, your Stephen Hawking joke was so wrong and so funny! I thought this week was terrible, but I've liked the show overall.
Milostea (#4), you say you don't believe Josh Blue has MS. Neither do I, since he doesn't. He has cerebral palsy, not multiple sclerosis. I don't know much about CP, but even with MS, the symptoms can come and go, depending on the severity of the condition. Josh has consistently been my favorite, though I am getting really annoyed that almost all of his jokes are related to his disease. It was funny the first 300 times, but by joke 301, it's getting a little old.
12 of 12 | Posted by AppleBlossom
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Posted on August 5, 2006 6:38 PM