The performers who rocked it to the second round were:

Chris Voth: His audition set was the stuff email forwards are made of...commentary on coke dealers using the metric system and why mimes don't cry at funerals. His late-night set was fresher, with a bit about joggers finding dead bodies that made me laugh if only because I work in a running store and this happens more often than you think. According to his blog,he was actually selected and then un-selected as a semi-finalist. He's handling it better than I would've, choosing to respond with a few disappointed-sounding paragraphs rather than, say, setting small fires.

Paul Varghese: He talks about being Indian and about their comically over-consonanted surnames. Here's where Randy Jackson would say "Naw, it was just a little pitchy, dawg. I just didn't feel it".

200806011217
This was my face.

Andi Smith: OK, picture the recently deceased character of Amber from TV's House. Now give her an odd inflection to her words and an indecipherable accent. Have her refer to dating short guys as like "having a penis on a keychain" and try not to think of how disappointed Dr. James Wilson would be. Anyway. I liked her. Quirky, but not in a bad or "I'm trying soooo hardl" or "I shop at Wet Seal" way.

Keisha Hunt: Another of Bill Bellamy's comics, she opened with a joke about Morgan Freeman. Neil Flynn said he didn't like her material but he could've just said "We don't care for black people". She somehow skipped through to the second show and talked about smoking weed, complete with "bring the joint to your mouth and inhale deeply" hand gestures. Keisha didn't learn that users never win and winners never use.

Bob Biggerstaff: First, what an awesome name if you're a dude. I hope he has EVERYTHING monogrammed because I totally would. It seemed like the judges just needed one joke--the conflict of his father getting Lou Gehrig's disease but hating the Yankees--to send him through to the second round. He talked about self-checkout at the grocery store and everyone in the crowd was nodding because either they're familiar with this system or they like to hear a fat guy talk about buying food.

Mark Agee: He made a Flashdance reference. YES. If I were a judge, I would've thrown my ovaries on the stage right there. He labored during the second show, dragging out a setup seemingly only to get to the line that if a vegetarian gets eaten by an animal, it dies of irony.

Danny Rios: When you close your interview with the phrase "I'm creepy" while displaying the worst set of teeth this side of the Elizabethan age, we know we're in for a good time.

Billy D. Washington: He opened with a runaway slave joke (which made me spray a mouthful of Cookie Crisp onto my keyboard) but lost me when he said he "thought Hamlet was a small pig". Right. I remember that one from a Laffy Taffy wrapper.

Saleem Muhammad: He was my favorite out of Houston. He described his personal trainer as being "veiny and shiny and wet and wrong" which is now my current Facebook status.

Sarah Tollemache: Video games ruin relationships. So does watching two straight hours of this show.

Picture 4-46
I'd pay five dollars to see this dude run into a wall.

I wasn't sure how they were going to select four semi-finalists out of the Texas group and apparently the judges didn't know either. Only Andi Smith and Bob Biggerstaff got the Red Envelope, which means either they're going to the Semi's in Las Vegas or they just got a Macy's gift certificate.

Until next week, you're GordonShumway and I've been a great audience.

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Comments (3)

EZ Rider:

I thought only two out of Houston was weak. And in my opinion, Andi Smith sucked and had the "my agent told me to look surprised when they put me through to Vegas" look on her face.

The show is rife with conspiracy theory, but after accepting that it's not truly a shot for an amateur to make it, it becomes watchable.

mareneli:

Argh, thanks for spoiling that last episode of House I haven't watched yet.

Memememe:

This show is so worthless. Have there been any people trying out that we would recognize? That's all I ever tune in for. A comic actor looking to break big; one of those guys who tells jokes on Best Week Ever.. something like that. Otherwise, a complete waste of time.

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