John Evans: He looks exactly like Count Chocula, an observation that made me laugh at my own cleverness until I learned that apparently he knows it. His audition about shoplifting at Goodwill was fantastic, as was the showcase bit about being willing to pay his wife to watch porn. He was also gutbusting enough to earn a beep from the network censors.
Tracey Ashley: Her mom told her to do what makes her happy. Her mom has a mental illness. There's a HILARIOUS syllogism in there somewhere.
Who doesn't like wack moms?
Carl Lee: I dug his audition. He did some misdirection quips about digging single mothers just for their cereal selections. His late night set was all road comedy though... "Who's been to Killeen, Texas? Anybody? Anybody? What about Wichita?" Sigh.
Seriously, this was the best audition city ever. Pete Lee, John Evans, and Dan Cummins all got the red ticket to Vegas, but you could've argued that Doug Mellard deserved a shot too. Unlike Canada, where the "famous" comics rode their reps rather than their jokes, these three guys who have all attained a moderate kind of "satellite radio and syndicated morning show" success also had great sets at the audition.
By contrast, we have Nashville. The celebrity judges were George "Norm" Wendt and John "Three Men Who Have Never Been in My Kitchen" Ratzenberger. I can't believe these two were free.
Everybody knew your name. Once.
The lineup for the showcase looked like the waiting room at your local Urgent Care. What an, um, interesting crowd. Those slightly unhinged-looking comics were:
Dale Jones: OK, he had me when he claimed that well water is what killed the dinosaurs, since their tiny little arms couldn't reach the pump. Well played, Mr. Jones. That night he did a tired-ish bit about Deliverance: The Musical but was overall pretty damn funny, even though I wouldn't want to sit beside him on an airplane. Interestingly, on his bio he claims to have been in the movie Out of Time with Denzel Washington but I can't find a record of him at all, unless he had a lower billing than "Woman in Lobby" or "Beach Partier"...and if that's true, why would this be something you'd pimp on your website?
Mary Mack: Holy crap. If Fiona Apple gave up both piano ballads and eating, you'd have this girl. AND HER VOICE, IT PAINS ME. If I saw something like her wandering around outside, I'd capture it and keep it until it gave me three wishes.
Keith Alberstadt: He was such an obnoxious kid, his mother salted the rim of her coffee mug on the first day of school. I've heard him before and he's insanely good--and a prolific joke writer--but that didn't quite translate during the audition.
Heath Hyche: OK, he's wearing football jersey with a dummy behind him, groping his own junk. He has a pre-recorded football announcer. And now he's doing Tae Bo to music. Um. Where exactly are the jokes?
Pat Godwin: He auditions with an impression of U2's Bono singing about Bingo the Dog. Freaking hilarious and spot on. But his second set? About Irish people drinking. Now, I enjoy stereotypes as much as the next person, but when he broke out the phrase "Drink your beer, there are sober kids in China" it wasn't any funnier coming from him than it was on my former roommate's t-shirt. In 1997.
This guy was robbed. At least he has his dignity...
Killer Beaz: He's perfect for anyone who finds Jeff Foxworthy a bit too pedantic 'cause he's practically the No Collar Comedy Tour, what with his stonewashed jeans and liberal use of the phrases "young 'uns" and "grew up in Alabama". I can't decide if he would kill at Wal-Mart or be killed at Wal-Mart.
Taylor Mason: I CAN SEE YOUR MOUTH MOVING.
Erin Jackson: I liked her from her opening line, "I can't sing... I'm just a plus sized black woman". Her second set skewered her roommate who said she couldn't be a stripper just because of the high heels. She's definitely the best of Nashville, which is like saying that ticks are the best of parasites. According to her blog, she was actually invited to audition and didn't have to stand outside with the riff-raff ventriloquists.
Drew Thomas: Men and women? Totally different.
Sabrina Matthews: While I appreciate your lifestyle and relationship choices, I do wish you would've told jokes that didn't make us picture you taking a bath.
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