Tonight's episode of Last Comic Standing begins by introducing all twelve of this season's finalists. In case you have somehow forgotten their names or faces, here's Marcus doing a timely Gilbert Gottfried impression! Iliza wears another V-neck t-shirt! God's Pottery does something completely unentertaining and borderline creepy! Tonight, they'll be put through their first of a series of challenges and by the time the last NBC Olympics promo rolls, only ten comics will remain.
As Good Charlotte's "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" plays, the contestants are crammed into the official LCS short bus. Some of them are sitting in the aisles and I'm pretty sure that can't be up to code. They arrive at the Casa de Comedy, the Cribs-worthy house they'll be living in until they eventually get booted back to their un-airconditioned studio apartments.
Bill Bellamy is there to greet them, wearing an pink outfit that makes him look like an ambulatory Pepto Bismol bottle. Once inside, the God's Pottery guys tear through the house and race to claim the pink girly bedroom, which is HILARIOUS because THEY ARE BOYS AND THEY WANT TO SLEEP IN THE FRILLY ROOM! How my sides ache from laughter! Screw calling a bunk bed... I'd immediately loot the shit out of that house, shoving decorative accents and pop art into my messenger bag with the quickness.
The next montage is of Esther and her laugh and how it's shrill enough to trigger mudslides, alter weather patterns, disorient entire flocks of birds, and generally make everyone wish that Casa de Comedy had a crawlspace that they could cram her in.
Next, we have the Last Comic Calendar shoot, which is one of those activities that is dripping with awesomesauce if you're a participant but if you have to sit at home watching, it's really not that entertaining. It's like seeing a video of someone playing Skee ball.
The premise is that there are 12 months and 12 comics and that means that everyone should put on a costume and they'll take pictures and make a calendar that may or may not be purchased by the mothers of the participants. Doesn't that sound FUN! Marcus comes out of the dressing room first in a tattered Wonder Woman costume and it goes downhill from there. Suffice it to say that I could've lived a full and happy life without ever seen Sean Cullen shirtless. Actually, several of the guys chose to disguise themselves by taking their shirts off. God's Pottery did something Biblical, Jeff Dye wore a bib and a diaper, Iliza Shlesinger dressed as a lesbian, Adam Hunter was a hippie, hooray, hooray hooray. That's ten minutes I would like to have back.
The next morning, they walk into the kitchen to find 12 raw eggs in 12 different glasses. Either they have the world's lamest poltergeist or it's some kind of clue. Esther figures it out, that they have to train like Rocky or something although if I'd been the producer, I would've hung 12 sides of beef from the ceiling. They're driven to a boxing ring "in the middle of nowhere" where Bill Bellamy--dressed as either a referee or Colonel Sanders--tells them they're about to begin their first challenge, Last Comic Smackdown. "Instead of throwing punches, you'll be throwing punchlines," he says, beaming that it only took him four days to write that joke. There will be three rounds of competition, with round one being Yo Mama jokes. Cue the "Eye of the Tiger" and the training montage...
The judges for the "Yo Mama Speed Round" are Jamie "A Number of Failed Sitcoms" Kennedy and Rich "Football Announcer Guy" Eisen. Only four comics will advance from the following matchups:
Louis Ramey vs. Jeff Dye: The audience digs it when Jeff says "Yo mama is so old she was the waitress at the Last Supper", but that joke is so old, it was used to translate the Rosetta Stone.
Ron G vs. God's Pottery: Ron is taking this way too seriously. He really wants to punch them both in the face. God's Pottery made everything positive; as an opener they said "Your mother is so pretty, we were just talking about how we thought she could be a model". Actually, they were pretty entertaining, compared with Ron who just stood in the corner looking surly and wondering which one of them he would stab first.
Adam Hunter vs. Marcus: Adam's money shot- "Yo mama is so old she went to high school with John McCain". Yes, I believe that would've been Nazareth High, class of 02. Like, 0002 (A.D.)
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Comments (1)
The three most annoying people were eliminated. It doesn't get better than that! (And, for a bonus, Eliza, we are giving you your own private room!)
Now, if she could just get rid of the Indian guy and the little Brit...
1 of 1 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 18, 2008 2:59 PM