When this week's episode begins, we're reminded that Iliza won last week's challenge with 68% of the vote, ridding the world of Papa CJ and Paul Foot, an act that should win her some kind of Congressional medal or at the very least, a commemorative plate from the Bradford Exchange. She tells us--and I'm paraphrasing--how awesome she is and I sincerely hope she doesn't smother everything she does onstage with a blanket of ego.
The boys are already afraid of her. Louis has gathered the other XYs around the kitchen table to try to make some sort of pact that they won't vote against her again because "the show is becoming about her". Gee Louis, maybe it's because she's talented and she's personally eliminated four comics like some kind of audience-baiting black widow spider. You probably should be afraid of her.
They're loaded onto the short bus for another fifteen minutes of pointlessness, this time at a Japanese restaurant. Host Bill Bellamy is waiting for them--wearing a kimono, natch--and tells them that the special of the day is comedy so they'll be serving the customers teriyaki-style entrees and teriyaki-style jokes. Seated at the tables are female (?) bodybuilders, the Deal or No Deal girls, frat guys, AND MIDGETS. THIS SHOW KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT. And those two things are hibachi-cooked steak and little people.
Jeff and Marcus are trading off impressions, hoping that Jeff Goldblum will win over the female weightlifters before they snap the comics' femurs for being unfunny. Aaaaand of course we follow that up with a Christopher Walken apertif. Doing a Christopher Walken voice has become the "why don't just we make the plane out of the black box" of impressions. Louis tells us that he was "sweating his balls off" and that he just gave up, a revelation that had to negatively impact that restaurant's sanitation rating unless a team of custodians was immediately dispatched to mop up the balls.
When they get back to the house, they've received another clue in the form of silicone breast implants placed all over the house, SOME EVEN TOUCHING THEIR PILLOWS.
Cue Warrant's "Cherry Pie" as they all climbed back into the short bus and were driven to the Playboy Mansion because when the producers planned this season's challenges, they probably didn't anticipate having a (straight) woman make it to the finals. Everyone is given the task of writing a bedtime story and reading it to three of the Playmates, the completely interchangeable stars of The Girls Next Door who have no idea what this "reading" is that everyone seems to be buzzing about. The winner of said challenge will not only receive immunity for this week, but will automatically make it to the final performance in Las Vegas.
Each girl is given the title of the story and the comics have to fit their words to match that title. Ron G goes first, telling the girls the tale of "Jack & the Bean Stalker". Sort of. He gets lost in his own narrative--distracted by boobies--and after watching him self-consciously giggle for five minutes, I wish he was back in Atlanta working for the cable company or something. To his credit, the girls invite him onto the bed, so he should probably disinfect his clothing. He asks them if they "like dark meat" and everyone laughs, because they are retarded. Kendra, the one who probably struggles to comprehend the label on a Snapple bottle, said she liked "how the whole thing rhymed". If by "the whole thing", she means "two lines", then yes, it did.
Adam is next and he makes the crucial mistake of attempting subtle humor and wordplay with his story, "I'm the Same Age As My New Mommy". He would've had better luck trying to read his book to a birdbath.
"The Pirate, the T. Rex, and Grandma" is what Iliza has to talk about. She bases the story around casting models at the Playboy Mansion and does several character voices, one which makes the T. Rex sound just like Butterfly McQueen. The girls like how she put their names into the story because--just like my puppy--their names are one of the few commands they can understand.
Louis was assigned "The Princess Who Had to Pee", a tale that ended with the delightful moral "every girl needs a gay friend". The Bunnies said they liked it because you "could actually read it to a kid". I hope these woman have all been sterilized.
Sean is wearing a suit and telling them that "Dragons Just Don't Understand", a narrative that centers around Stanley the dragon who couldn't be sexually aroused by other dragons. He lost them when he used the word "cobbler".
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Comments (1)
Eliza took a big risk - according to her competition - by using mostly untried jokes in her act... but she did really well. she's in, for sure.
She, Louis and Tatoo are my picks to take the coveted title. Anyone else would be an upset, IMO.
1 of 1 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 28, 2008 7:37 PM