Our first international comic is Israel's Lioz Shem Tov, a prop comic whose set is insanely hard to write about. He does impressions of Mickey Mouse taking Viagra, an astronaut in the bathroom, and either a turtle or a man taking a massive shit. Of everyone we've seen so far, he would be simultaneously the most fun and the most annoying to invite to a party.
Our next international comic is Dale Jones, who has come from Planet Cracker Barrel. He says the word "nookie" more times in three minutes than anyone this side of Limp Bizkit and then does a pig squeal sound. That's all you need to know.
After yet another commercial break, we have Erin Jackson who says she's looking forward to doing "famous black people stuff" like marrying a white woman, a comment that is rewarded with a reaction shot of black audience members. When--during a tooth fairy bit--she says "When I lost a tooth, all I got was a bigger tooth", I was ready to become her white trophy wife. Love her.
The first novelty act is God's Pottery, the Christian acoustic duo of Jeremiah Smallchild and Gideon Lamb who are playing these characters straight enough to audition for a Christopher Guest movie. They sing a song called "The Pants Come Off When the Ring Goes On". It's not that entertaining until they almost make a hymen joke. THEN it's...um...still not that funny. If I have to see them again, I'll set a Precious Moments figurine on fire.
Coming to the stage dressed like Carlton Banks is Ron G, where the G stands for "God Knows How He Made it This Far". He calls the crowd "party people" and I'm immediately cranky. He follows by doing the most annoying "character" voice this side of Fran Drescher to illustrate being fired, when his mother hits him, and when a cop pulls him over. Cut to reaction shots of bored-looking black people.
Drennon Davis opens by saying he has a catch phrase, "Who put that in the muffin house?" He's going to watch this later and hate himself.
Canada's twitchy, voice-affected favorite Winston Spear is next. He talks about car insurance and bike locks and talking to the bank, which makes his set sound like a conversation with my parents...if one of them had Tourette's and wore a necklace shaped like a guitar pick.
Enter London's own Shazia Mirza, who dusts off those old comedy chestnuts, blowing up planes and references to abortions. Also, I'm not sure if she mentioned it, but she's Muslim. Muslim? Muslim! Muslimuslimuslim.
Another Brit, Paul Foot, is next. He can't be that excited about the $250,000 prize because that's, like, 14 British pounds. He moves like a marionette and dresses like a scarecrow but the boy is funny. Bizarre, but funny. I was hooked from his opening line, "I may not be the world's best lover, but I am a dangerous driver".
No one seemed to enjoy Andi Smith, whose voice would still sound ridiculous even if it were coming from the mouth of an animated hippo. She opens with a quip about playing a half-empty club in West Virginia and asking the crowd "Where's everybody else, trapped in a mine?" Regional disaster humor is always a favorite. Hopefully, she'll have the opportunity to play an empty club in Iowa so she can alienate some Midwesterners by asking if the rest of them are doing the backstroke in their basements.
For the record, I would have sex with any or all of the Meehan Brothers, as long as they didn't make me watch their show first. Show me a woman that says pantomiming and puns are her turn-ons, and I'll show you a dirty, dirty liar.
The semi-finalists this week were Adam Hunter (who was so far ahead of the competition, he should be tested for Winstrol), Paul Foot (my second fave), Jeff Dye (Meh.), God's Pottery (Excuse me as I shatter this cherub in protest), and...Ron G (What a joke. No, um, pun intended).
Until next week, fill out your comment card on your table top and don't forget to tip your waitress.
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Comments (3)
I've concluded the criteria for making it to the finals on this show is if the contestant DIDN'T make me laugh.
The only two that I found remotely amusing were Paul the Bald Guy (who you, GS, didn't enjoy) and Erin Jackson...and they both got kicked to the curb.
I guess I'll just skip the show and read your reviews for the rest of the season. You're certainly funnier than Ron G.
1 of 3 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 3, 2008 8:49 AM
My DH and I were like "seriously, WTF?" when they named Ron G. and God's Pottery. The two LAMEST acts in the history of mankind make the show? Ron G. was actually more annoying than GP, which is tough to do. There were much better acts on the show than those two.
I think I'm off this ridonkulous show -- but I'll still read your recaps to see how you try to encapsulate the humor!
2 of 3 | Posted by zbird | Posted on July 3, 2008 7:58 PM
What a joke, indeed!
I hope those were the last comics standing!
I still have a bad taste in my mouth!
3 of 3 | Posted by detinha | Posted on July 11, 2008 6:26 AM