Least Comic Standing. - 
by copygodd
If I told you 5 + 5 = 12, would you believe me? What if I told you tonight's group of winners is even unfunnier than last week's group? Would you believe me then? Of course you would. This is Last Comic Standing, after all. The reality show where comics are advanced not based on their actual comedic chops, but rather their demographic appeal and potential for bringing drama. Don't believe me? I've got two words for you: Stel La.
Anthony Clark comes out to introduce the show, which once again is held in the historic Alex Theatre. I guess I shouldn't be surprised it's in the same theatre, because it's actually the same night as last week's show, which became apparent when the comics from last week came out wearing the same clothes as last week. Unless the producers went all Survivor Results Show on us and made sure the contestants looked exactly the same as the last time we saw them. Nah, that's giving the producers of this show too much credit. Let's not forget they're the same people who foisted Dat Phan on us. Of course, to their credit, even they seem to have realized what an unfunny tool he is, and now refer to him simply as He Who Cannot Be Laughed At.
Anyway, producers cue the theme song! It's time to get our chuckle on...
Tonight's first comic is Gabriel Iglesias. He's fat. So of course he tells a story about eating donuts. After leaving a Krispy Kreme, he gets pulled over by a cop. Cop? Donut? Bet you know where this is going, don't you... Not so fast, buckaroo, because instead of the expected "cops love donuts" punch line, Gabriel reflects on the trauma of being anally raped with the cop's nightstick. Jeez, one comic in and it's already a Very Special Episode of Last Comic Standing. Okay, not really. He made the donut joke. But mine would've been a lot funnier.
Coochie-coochie-coo!
Kristin Key is skinny. So skinny, in fact, she says a guy once said having sex with her was like humping a bag of coat hangers. It's a good line, but I don't know if it's enough to get her into the house. (Incidentally, we find out later the house is actually a boat. That's right, the contestants will be staying on the Queen Mary. If only Ant were on this year. I'm sure he'd have seamen jokes coming out of his ass.)
Moody McCarthy talks about music, telephones and computers, but to be honest I was so distracted by his ginormous ears that I didn't notice whether he was funny or not. Since this is Last Comic Standing, the same show that gave us Buck Star and Gary Gulman, I'm gonna guess not.
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