So, now that I have Lorenzo in my life, of course I had to ask ChickMom her opinion on him. "Don't you think he's soooo hot?" I ask her. She didn't really have a comment on that, but she did have something to say about the ex, Shauna Sand. "She's Jewish," CM seethed at me, "That trash with the Lucite shoes is Jewish and she's making us look bad!" she continued angrily. "So, you're saying Lorenzo likes Jewish girls?" I ask her excitedly. Long pause. "Why don't you go set the table?" she finally sighed. So that's where that stands.

But I couldn't be happier that this episode starts with a Lorenzo story, and it's at Dodgers Stadium where he will be singing the National Anthem. There's a small debate between Shayne and the little sister about exactly how many people Lorenzo will be singing to - it's either five thousand of five million. Whatevs.

Hey! "To All the Girls I Loved Before" isn't the national anthem!

They announce Lorenzo as a "TV icon", which I'm betting he scripted himself, and then he starts singing as Shayne supportively lip glosses up. I don't really know how to describe Lorenzo's singing. It's like this very overly dramatic Julio Iglesias routine. Anyway, it's actually pretty funny to watch, mostly because it sounds so ridiculous and Lorenzo's really into it. Back home, his hot loser son watches on TV and wonders why he wasn't invited to the event. Then he makes fun of Lorenzo. Well, there you go dumbass. No one's gonna invite you to laugh at them.

So, Lorenzo is shameless but you know, that's part of his charm and Shayne thinks so too. She's proud of him for always working, even though he's not in the movies. Back home, his hot loser son swims around in his pool with a cigarette in hand. Seriously dude, I have a friend who keeps a cigarette and lighter next to her alarm clock in the morning, and even she can swim without a smoke. Get a grip. He enlightens us as to why he's perpetually unemployed - he needs to be available to audition. Oh, another Lamas defaulting to the family business. Does it occur to any of the people that the name Lamas isn't exactly synonymous with talent? Well, in the meantime we'll just leave hot little baby Lamas to swim around the pool, smoking and pondering.

But the rest of the family isn't taking this unemployed AJ thing lying down. Shayne schedules a meeting between her rubber cemented Mommy Michelle and Lorenzo. And then we get some throwaway scene with the little sister telling us how she too loves acting, but not to worry - this one's a musician. She's taking "vocal yoga". I'm not really sure, but I'm guessing it's some kind of bullshit training for untalented children of celebrities. "I know it sounds weird, but this is what it takes," Baby Lamas informs the rest of us uninformed, non-show biz peeps. Yeah, vocal yoga and I don't know, ability to carry a tune? But of course, I'm no professional.

Neither is he. I suggest you go away from the family tree for advice on this one.

And then it's time for Lorenzo and Michelle's lunch. Lorenzo turns up in a white wifebeater and a bunch of silver jewelry. I do not know how be manages to pull of hot and ridiculous at the same time. "Why does he have such an aversion to making an honest buck?" Lorenzo wonders. Listen babe, Falcon Crest wasn't exactly the coal mine. Although Lorenzo would look so hot in a coal mine. Then he complains that it's Michelle's fault AJ turned out to be such a loser because she coddled him. Well, that's probably true although bringing home a step-mommy for him to fuck probably didn't help matters either.

Ridicuhot

« FlashForward: WITH BULLETS | Main | Leave It To Lamas: Nepotism? Doesn't Work in a Dakota »

Posted in Leave it to Lamas by ChickBomb at 12:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Last Comment: Robinez on Nov 13, 2009 06:44 PM.