We began last week's show with a stage full of pink-clad, smiling young hopefuls ready to dance and sing their way into our hearts and prove that they could be the next Elle Woods on Broadway.
Oh how they danced! And sang! For hours on end. Until, mercifully, the judges sent a whole mess of them home and we ended up with 10 exhausted, emotional wrecks who would be the finalists.
In this week's episode, the judges ask the question, "But, can they act?"
Short answer: No. Long answer: No, but that's never stopped anyone before.
But before they get into all that, it's time to show the ladies their new home.
"IT'S FABULOUS, BUT A LITTLE SMALL"
"CALM DOWN, WE'RE STILL IN THE ELEVATOR"
As the girls ran into their overwhelmingly pink new apartment, they squealed with delight. Maybe squealed isn't even the right word for the noise coming out of this group. How can I explain this to those of you who didn't watch the show?
Ok, you know when you accidentally step on a dog's tail when it sneaks up behind you? And then it lets out this horrible yelping sound? Now picture that you've just done that to the smallest dog in the world. Now picture that instead of one dog, it's 10. And instead of a generic yelp sound, the dogs are saying "Ohmygod!" Now turn up the volume and add some exaggerated gasps.
That's the noise.
And it's all because of this place:
TO AVOID RETINAL DAMAGE, DO NOT LOOK AT THIS PHOTO FOR MORE THAN 10 SECONDS
Casio remarks how the apartment "seemed really personal to each of our tastes." Don't know what that means. It all looks just...pink.
After the initial running-wildly-around-the-apartment portion of the evening, the girls pour some drinks and make a toast to themselves and how great everything is working out for them.
COME TO MOMMA
Before you go getting all worked up that MTV has provided this mostly under-aged cast with booze, rest assured that this fizzy beverage is nothing more than sparkling cider. A point made clear when one of the girls - can't tell who exactly- asks "Is this non-alcoholic?" and Emma responds that yes, in fact, it is.
Now here's where I wonder what goodey two shoes is asking if it's non-alcoholic. Call me a drunk (go ahead, really, I don't mind), but what 19 year old isn't into free booze?
I bet it's southern belle Bailey who, without a segue, tells us all "My dad is a pastor back home in South Carolina. And I absolutely love it."
HIGH ON LIFE, Y'ALL!
Man is this chick getting annoying. Fast.
Well anyway, the girls giggle away well into the night as they unpack and hold up various picture frames and throw pillows, screaming, "Isn't this the cutest?!"
This is really fun and all, but gosh, I just can't help feeling like someone is missing.
Hmmm. Who could it be? Who...could...it...be?
AH-HEM
Oh right. It's Duff! The worst mentor ever. Hanging out in her Haylair, modeling dresses with odd color combos and reading advice off her teleprompter. She lets us know that even though it's all fun and games for the contestants tonight, tomorrow they're up for one doozy of an audition. "They are about to endure an audition no one on Broadway has ever been through."
And to that last statement, I ask, Why? Why are they going through something that no other Broadway actor has been through? Just because it's MTV they're going to have to go through bizarre challenges that include water balloons and celebrity guests?
The next morning, as the ladies eat breakfast and fight over the bathroom, a pink piece of paper slides under their front door. "A call sheet!" yells Casio, who promptly runs over to it and begins reading aloud.
WELL THAT'S WEIRD. IT SAYS EVERYONE BUT CASSIE O. SHOULD GO SEE A MOVIE TODAY BECAUSE I'M--I MEAN, BECAUSE CASSIE O. IS CLEARLY THE BEST AND WE ONLY WANT HER TO COME TO REHEARSAL.
After the rest of the girls wrestle Casio to the ground, beat her to a pulp and then tear the call sheet from her trembling hands, they discover that they are to be at rehearsal at 10:30. Dress is comfortable and casual.
WE'RE HEEEERE! WOW IT'S SO WEIRD WE ALL SAID THAT IN UNISON. WOW AND THAT TOO. OH MY GOSH! AND THAT!
And look who decided to get off her stool and come hang out. Duff!
I'VE GOT SOMETHING AT 11.
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Comments (6)
nice recap- this show is horrible, i mean really really bad and not even that entertaining, and yet i still watch. Kudos to you for making it through it to write the recap!
Until they posted her name on the screen I was sooo convinced Nikki's name was Nikkis or like Nikeese or something like that- I kept thinking Nikeese is such a strange name (but not all that bad). I think Snelson might be even stranger though!
1 of 6 | Posted by tvkitty | Posted on June 12, 2008 9:17 AM
I AM SO MUCH BETT-errrr, I AM SO MUCH BETT-errr, I AM SO MUCH BETTER! THAN BEFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!
Help! I
can't stop singing that song!!
2 of 6 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on June 12, 2008 10:56 AM
Arg! That song has been in my head all day...
And oh no...it just morphed into "Love Will Keep Us Together" from Captain n' Tenille...!!!
3 of 6 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 14, 2008 9:35 AM
Just watched the movie Hairspray and there was Cassie S. as one of the Corny Collins Show dancers. She had a few lines too and she was really good (!).
Did they ever mention she was a working actress?
4 of 6 | Posted by NYCJUDE | Posted on June 14, 2008 9:23 PM
I knew I saw her before! Thanks! I actually like her in this show (although I can't imagine her in this part...maybe with a wig...she seems more like the best friend/sidekick type). But she definitely stands out as being different from the others.
5 of 6 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 15, 2008 11:09 AM
"What other place could you have been physically or mentally than in your parents' house? I mean, unless you were a teenage runaway who lived off the streets and made just enough money from prostitution and petty theft to support your addiction to crack. But you don't strike me as that sort of individual"
No,that would be Nikki Snelson. That girl looked nasty with a capital N. She is dumps ugs.
BTW: Natalie's father is Squiggy from LAVERNE & SHIRLEY
6 of 6 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on June 17, 2008 2:53 PM