Hello Legally Blonde watchers. Welcome back to the Pink House. If you're still with me, it means you've fallen under the same unlikely spell as I have and you've suddenly found yourself giving a crap what happens to these overblown homecoming queens. I know, it's unsettling. But just hang in there a few more weeks and this will all be over with. (And then you know you'll be back to obsessing over the losers on The Hills. Btw, Team Heidi 100%. Get over yourself, Lauren! As Michael Stipe said, "Everybody hurts sometimes.")
So this week, we've got some things to look forward to. Natalie steps into the spotlight, Emma is forced off her high horse, and Autumn blows chunks. It's about time these ladies went full tilt boogie.
We begin this week's episode the same way we always do. Everyone is sitting around picking at their cuticles and waiting to see which girls actually make it back from the casting office. And then someone comments, "It's really nerve-wracking waiting to see who comes through that door." Yaddi yadda.
Only this week Bailey spices things up by being a total backstabbing bitch. While waiting in agony with everyone else, she comments, "You don't want to be like, oh one girl down, 5 more to go. You don't want to be thataway." Yes she says "thataway."
But then, when she's alone with the camera, Bailey says, "Autumn is one of my biggest competitions and honestly I hope she goes home tonight." Yes, she said competition instead of competitors.
"I hope she goes home tonight." Man, that is some nasty behavior. I love it! Way to go, minister's daughter. I always knew you had it in you.
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS ME
Oh...and then who should walk through the door but Autumn. And the girls could not be more surprised for this was the week that the judges threw them the ol' curveball and sent two ladies home.
And neither of them were Autumn. Sorry, Bailey.
SHE BEST SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN, YA HEAR?
The ladies all get a good night's rest, and wake up in the morning to find a call sheet directing them to meet at a dance studio. This immediately makes all of them nervous because apparently none of them feel particularly confident in dancing.
To be the next Elle Woods, the winner needs to be able to sing, act, and dance. Now, I can't do any of those things, but if I had to pick one to fake my way through, I'd have to say dancing would be the easiest. So what is the big deal?
DANCING MAKES THE LEFT SIDE OF MY FACE GO NUMB
The girls arrive at the dancing studio to find their phenomenally awful mentor Duff, eager to greet them and dressed like a tampon.
AND JUST AS EASY TO DISPOSE OF
Today they are going to learn a hip-hoppy dance number, as instructed by a cranky man named Nick Kenkle. Pronounced Cankle--as in the unfortunate occurrence of a not-so-separated calf and ankle. Something I'm suuuure none of these ladies suffer from.
YOU ALSO SUFFER FROM FIPS, OR FAT-HIPS
But before they all get started learning their dance moves, Emma has an important announcement to make. "I need something to spit in."
Yes, Tough Tina's still battling bronchitis and she wants to make sure everybody knows it.
COUGHING UP WADS OF TALENT
With the help of Cankles, the girls go through the dance moves a few times. And even though Cankles says that each and everyone of them is simply awful, he still rewards them all with a pair of high heeled, bright pink boots.
THE BOOTS GET TO SIT. YOU MUST STAND.
Or maybe it's because they are all simply awful that he makes them wear these boots. At any rate, the girls react to the boots with mock excitement.
"But why are they going to wear these boots for the rest of the day?" you ask. Well, it's to test their ability to dance under wobbly circumstances. According to associate choreographer Denis, "The broadway stage is literally an obstacle course of chords, of stairs, of tracks that love to get heels caught in them."
IT'S LITERALLY A MINEFIELD. KA-BLOOEY.
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Comments (4)
I was in Hell's Kitchen the other night waiting for a friend to eat when Emma, Bailey, Natalie, and Celina walk in to the restaurant. The wait was really long, so they split. Surprisingly, Celina is really pretty and tall in person. I was pleasantly surprised. Emma, however, is short and busted looking. She looked really weird. Bailey and Natalie looked exactly how they look on tv. I wondered what they were doing there. When I told my friend, she speculated that they might have been the final four. Um, guess not!
Why does no one talk about how Natalie is Squiggy's daughter?!?!?? I love that fact.
1 of 4 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on July 3, 2008 1:16 PM
I love the fact that Natalie is Squiggy's daughter too! My guess is that most of the people who watch this show have no clue who that is.... whereas I am old enough to remember Laverne and Shirley before it went into reruns.
I loved the look on Lauren's face when Haylie called Bailey's name before hers at the end. I think they're editing out a bunch of the praise and other comments. I'm not a big fan of Bailey's (I find her to be a bit phony) but to me she is the only one who seems to be equally good at dancing, acting and singing. But I loved Natalie on this episode and can't wait to see her next week when she and Autumn get "blonded" in their makeover.
2 of 4 | Posted by murphena | Posted on July 3, 2008 2:12 PM
She's....gack....Squiggy's daughter? Oh man...it took me years to forget about that horrible show, years I tell you.
But it does explain the weirdness to her face. Although she looked pretty hot dancing this episode.
Emma's probably pissed off because she dropped so much coin having her hair made up to look exactly like Elle Woods. But I couldn't get past the dingy teeth and the frumpy body.
Bailey...pfft...typical self-righteous god-freak. Her performance was awkward, I thought.
3 of 4 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 3, 2008 2:59 PM
Excellent recap - very entertaining, even though (or maybe because) I don't watch the show.
In the screencap of Natalie, I can see the resemblance to her father in the alignment of her upper row of teeth. (Of course, it also reminds me of the mechanical shark in Jaws.)
4 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 5, 2008 10:19 AM