And so with Autumn at the helm, wielding the blue marker to write their answers down on the giant pad of paper on an easel that magically materialized in the Pink House, the girls made their way through the task at hand.
NEXT WE CAN PLAY PICTIONARY
What a missed opportunity here. Huh folks? The show's producers were probably drooling over the potential footage of cat fights, and doors slamming, and horrid bleeped-out insults.
And then they had to go and be all...peachy. YAWN.
The following day, the girls show up for their next big audition. Duff is there to greet them, this time dressed like she's hosting the office Christmas party.
AND MAYBE A LITTLE CHRISTMAS ELF SPIKED THE PUNCH...TEE HEE
Then it's time to get this show on the road. Emma's up first and her performance earns her this look.
...YEAH
Emma, what went wrong?
"I have bronchitis."
Yeah, yeah, we know. But why are you a horrible dancer?
MAYBE I HAVEN'T BEEN COMPLETELY CLEAR. I HAVE BRONCHITIS.
Bailey came next, pleasing the judges with her "sexy" performance.
Ha.
Then came Rhiannon, who was a bit of a let down. Judge Bernie said, "For someone who literally hit it out of the ball park last week, I was a little disappointed."
Up next was Lauren. Despite being the target of the "Everyone tell Lauren how bad she is" questionnaire the night before, this little lady bounced back to give a performance the judges really enjoyed.
I WAS VOTED MOST IMPROVED DANCER!
Next comes Autumn, who puts on a good enough show, but it's clear to the judges that her charisma and enthusiasm on stage are not powerful enough qualities to forgive her shortcomings in dance. As the judges are going over this evaluation, Autumn starts to look weird.
OOF...DON'T THINK ABOUT HOT DOGS AND SCRAMBLED EGGS RIGHT NOW
And then weirder...
DON'T THINK ABOUT THE SMELL OF FEET
And then finally she slaps her hand over her mouth, cheeks ballooned out at the sides, and runs off the stage to go puke. The camera actually follows her into the ladies room, where we get to see her little feet under the stall door and hear her wretching noises.
"BLUH. GLUUUH. BLUUUH." - Autumn
Oh dear. I know you're really embarrassed about your spontaneous vomiting, but look on the bright side...maybe you're just pregnant.
Then it's time for Natalie, the previous day's award winner, to take the stage. And once again she busts out all of her moves.
CAN'T...STOP...SHAKING...GROOVE THANG
The judges are so impressed, it prompts Bernie to tell her she's on the Definitely Yes list. It's the first time a contestant has heard they are on the list before the list actually exists. Go Natalie. I was wrong about you. You aren't that boring.
And then it's time for the judges to decide who is going to have to meet with them in the casting office. This week's losers are Autumn and Emma.
THE SICKLY TWOSOME
Right away, Emma is incredulous, believing there are contestants who are far less talented than she is. But no one cares what Emma has to say.
The ladies report to the casting office, where they each pleads her case about why they should be allowed to stay on in the competition. If you ask me, I think that if you've made it as far as the casting office, you should just get the boot because clearly you are inadequate.
So who's going home this week?
Emma. And thank goodness because she was really starting to get on my nerves. She's sort of a miserable old soul.
She leaves us with her parting words "Lauren and Rhiannon and Bailey are little girls. I don't see why it's me and not some of them."
GRACEFUL
I guess that wraps it up for this week's episo--
No. No wait. What happened to that questionnaire? The one the producers gave them with all the nasty questions that they turned into slightly not so nasty questions? They handed their answers over to someone, right? What was the point? Who read it?
Anyone? Anyone?
Okay well then nevermind. Guess that's really the end of the show. See you next week.
« Clipgasm: Andy Rooney Geico Ad Outtakes | Main | Hell's Kitchen: Those Stripes Make Your Restaurant Look FAT »
Comments (4)
I was in Hell's Kitchen the other night waiting for a friend to eat when Emma, Bailey, Natalie, and Celina walk in to the restaurant. The wait was really long, so they split. Surprisingly, Celina is really pretty and tall in person. I was pleasantly surprised. Emma, however, is short and busted looking. She looked really weird. Bailey and Natalie looked exactly how they look on tv. I wondered what they were doing there. When I told my friend, she speculated that they might have been the final four. Um, guess not!
Why does no one talk about how Natalie is Squiggy's daughter?!?!?? I love that fact.
1 of 4 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on July 3, 2008 1:16 PM
I love the fact that Natalie is Squiggy's daughter too! My guess is that most of the people who watch this show have no clue who that is.... whereas I am old enough to remember Laverne and Shirley before it went into reruns.
I loved the look on Lauren's face when Haylie called Bailey's name before hers at the end. I think they're editing out a bunch of the praise and other comments. I'm not a big fan of Bailey's (I find her to be a bit phony) but to me she is the only one who seems to be equally good at dancing, acting and singing. But I loved Natalie on this episode and can't wait to see her next week when she and Autumn get "blonded" in their makeover.
2 of 4 | Posted by murphena | Posted on July 3, 2008 2:12 PM
She's....gack....Squiggy's daughter? Oh man...it took me years to forget about that horrible show, years I tell you.
But it does explain the weirdness to her face. Although she looked pretty hot dancing this episode.
Emma's probably pissed off because she dropped so much coin having her hair made up to look exactly like Elle Woods. But I couldn't get past the dingy teeth and the frumpy body.
Bailey...pfft...typical self-righteous god-freak. Her performance was awkward, I thought.
3 of 4 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 3, 2008 2:59 PM
Excellent recap - very entertaining, even though (or maybe because) I don't watch the show.
In the screencap of Natalie, I can see the resemblance to her father in the alignment of her upper row of teeth. (Of course, it also reminds me of the mechanical shark in Jaws.)
4 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 5, 2008 10:19 AM