She meets him at an eerily empty restaurant called Chop Suey. I don't know about you, but whenever I see a Chinese food place with no costumers, I get a little wary.
HOW COME YOU AREN'T EATING? HOW COME YOU AREN'T EATING?
During this whole awkward little convo of theirs, it becomes clear that some hair dye must have seeped in through Natalie's scalp and caused some brain damage because she's gotten really weird. She kept tossing her hair back and forth, swaying her head like a horse resisting its bridle. She was giggling and sighing, shooting the understudy "come hither" stares and saying stupid things. The whole time practically resting her boobs on the table.
SO WHAT ELSE DO YOU LIKE ABOUT ME?
And then she actually stole Bailey's joke from earlier in the episode! Bailey made a crack about blondes walking into walls and then here at lunch, when on her new favorite topic, Being Blonde, Natalie said she walked into a few walls on her way to the restaurant. I don't wholly get which walls these are when she only goes from Pink House to taxi to restaurant, but that isn't the point. Joke thief
After lunch, the ladies meet with Seth and Denis to rehearse the ballad for their next audition.
As they arrive and Seth sees their uniform blonde hair, he makes up a jolly little tune. "Do the curtains match the caaaarpet?"
I THINK I FEEL A NEW MUSICAL COMING ON!
So do the curtains match the carpet? You know, in the case of Natalie and Autumn, I really hope not or there was some funky stuff going on in that salon.
They run through the piece a few times together before breaking up and taking turns performing it for the coaches individually. And here come the water works yet again.
Autumn tears up and has a breakthrough realizing "I suck at auditions." What a crappy breakthrough to have, eh folks?
Rhiannon is moved to tears because in her own life she's been told her looks are the only reason she's getting anywhere.
BUT I'M SURE YOU WOULDN'T FIGHT IT IF THEY LANDED YOU THIS ROLE
And then Natalie can barely finish her song because she is choking back sobs. But why?
"Now that...(sniff)...I'm blonde...I (snort)...just." Stop right there, Nat. That's enough about this blonde crapola. K?
BUT IT'S JUST SO REAL NOW
I don't care, missy. You better focus more on your singing and acting or you're gonna be in trouble...(foreshadowing!)
Am I the only one who thought the end of "Legally Blonde" sounded kind of like "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid?
"Watch and you'll see/Wish I could be/Part...of your...woooooorld."
"That's fine with me/Just let me be/ Legally...blonnnnde."
"Back to the sun/back to the shore/back to what I was before."
"Up where they walk/Up where they run/up where they play all day in the sun."
I can't decide if I should name the little crab Duffbastian or Sebasduff. What do you think?
Oh well, let's get out of the sea and get back to this ever-so-important audition.
After disappointing the judges in the last two auditions, Autumn knows there's a lot riding on this performance. Luckily, it's all about the singing...the thing she knows she can do.
She hits the stage and puts on a great show, leaving the judges to applaud and comment, "You are one gifted girl."
COULD YOU SAY THAT AGAIN IN FRONT OF ALL THE OTHER CONTESTANTS?
Well, as they say, "You go girl."
Up next is Bailey. The judges feel her performance fell flat, and far short of their high expectations for her. When they tell her this, she is moved to tears, talking about how she seriously does get what Elle is going through.
THIS IS ALMOST AS SAD AS WHEN I CUT OFF 1/2 INCH OF MY HAIR YESTERDAY
Then we have Natalie. Before she takes the stage, she says "I came all the way from L.A. for this. That's a long way to go to just go home." What? No it's not. I myself make that flight a few times a year and plenty of people do it way more than that. Have you ever heard of direct flights? Of a mere 5 hours of your time? Of drinking two glasses of wine at the airport bar before getting on your redeye, passing the eff out the minute you get on the plane and waking up in the NYC? Hellooooo.
I've gotten a bit off topic here, but that's only because there is nothing to say about Natalie's lame performance. The judges weren't particularly impressed. Yes, even despite her new blonde hair.
BUT I'M BLONDE. I...I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
« The Bachelorette: DeAnna Turns Hypocrite | Main | Big Brother Countdown: One Day To Go!!! »
Comments (4)
I just downloaded (legally, of course...legally blondely) all the episodes of this show and watched them in the span of two days. Ohmigod You Guys is never going to leave my head, and I'm OBSESSED WITH THIS SHOW NOW. Thank you for recapping it!
1 of 4 | Posted by BaileyQuarters | Posted on July 11, 2008 11:06 AM
Hi! I love this show. I can't help it. I wasn't a big fan of the movie or even the musical (caught it on MTV months ago) - but this show kicks it. I've been trying to get my best friend to watch - he wasn't interested ...until I told him about the dye jobs. He'd been to Minardi salon in NYC a few times (during his "platinum" summer) - and when I complained to him about the way Natalie and Autumn looked, he went on line ....and said Bergdorf has a really bad rep. for dying hair blond!! And boy did I see why. Yick. Autumn was smart not to let on to the other girls that she hated her hair. I thought Natlie looked awful - the shot captured in the recap was the only time it looked halfway decent. Poor Squiggy's daughter!! I also miss the grouchy, entitled Emma. Not really rooting for anyone -- I just totally dig this show! From the weird judges (creepy curly haired big shot, moustache woman, and flaboyant Sam) to the catchy tunes ... it makes my Monday nights!
2 of 4 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on July 11, 2008 11:11 AM
Aw, geez...I can't help it, I just can't be mean to these girls anymore. Well, excepting the Evil Christian character (there's always one on every reality show, it seems).
Maybe it's because I like bad musicals and cute blondes?
One thing of note: the 'challenges' seem to have no bearing on the outcome whatsoever --the judges make no reference at all to them, their only effect seems to be get the winner of each challenge eliminated (this is not my discovery, I read this elsewhere). Maybe the producers felt that the audition/training process itself would be too boring with the batch of cornfeds. Anyway, even the auditions seem more like a formality than anything else, just lining up the cannon fodder.
Nathalie was never going to be Elle Woods. Just doesn't look the part at all. And she looks much better as a brunette.
I still believe there's a ringer in there. There's no way they'd risk the Broadway show like this.
Will the winner really go on Broadway right away? Is it a permanent gig, or just for a couple of weeks (which would explain while Laura Bell isn't so concerned about all this...she probably has a vacation coming up). Maybe whoever wins is actually being hired for a touring version?
Just wondrin'.
Oh yeah, props to MTV for putting their shows online (and making them accessible to us expatriates).
3 of 4 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 11, 2008 10:07 PM
I think it is so annoying that when Duff is reading who is on "The List" she has to do the math for all of the girls. She's always like, "There are five of you left, and only two names on the list. That means two of you will go to the office and one of you will be eliminated." then she'll read the first name and say, "There's only one name left on the list, and there are four of you in front of me." It's like just read it already. I don't know it is just annoying to hear.
4 of 4 | Posted by kelseym13 | Posted on July 13, 2008 5:50 PM