Last week on Legally Blonde The Musical: The Search for Elle Woods, we learned that it takes a little more than blonde hair to be a Broadway star in this show of shows. You also have to be a moderately talented singer and under 20 years old.
And so Natalie, with her newly honey-colored hair and quarter-life crisis, was sent home, while squeaky-voiced Rhiannon, baby-faced Lauren and trash-talkin' Bailey stayed in the game. Oh, and almost-30 Autumn made it through to the next round, but she's getting so furious with the injustice of this competition that her head is about to explode.
This week, it's time to find out if any of them are real triple threats. Can any of them sing, act, and dance? How hard can it be, right?
At the Pink House, Autumn and Lauren dine on take out from Chipotle and toast their semi-victory in not being sent to the casting office this week.
HERE'S TO GUACAMOLE! CLINK CLINK.
They speculate that it will be Rhiannon who's sent home this week because, let's be honest, she has started to suck at everything lately.
But then who should walk in the door but Rhiannon and Bailey!
WE WENT TO THE CASTING OFFICE AND ALL WE GOT WERE THESE LOUSY PEA COATS.
I've noticed that whenever the near-losers return home, they never pay enough attention to the faces of the girls waiting for them in the house. Maybe they are in denial, but there is always a look of "Oh...you're here" that goes unmentioned.
See, here's Lauren's face when she saw Rhiannon waltz through the front door.
SAY WHAT?
But you don't hear Rhiannon in her interview saying, "I could tell by the look on Lauren's little face that she didn't expect me to turn up. Well she can kiss my ass. And now for the rest of the episode we are going to get in a big dramatic fight that will entertain the viewers at home."
No, instead Rhiannon says something to take the attention away from her own shortcomings. "I'm not in the mood to be around Autumn and Lauren because they were given second or third chances and Natalie was just sent straight home. It makes me almost angry that Autumn and Lauren weren't sent home."
Oh, whatever Rhiannon. If you'd been sent home instead of Natalie you'd be calling her a talentless hack right now.
Meanwhile, Autumn is pissing her pants excited to see Bailey and Rhiannon have finally gone to the casting office for the first time. She says "Oh boo hoo. I'm soooo sorry you got sent to the casting office and were told that maybe, just maybe, you didn't have what it takes....you're 19!"
AND THAT'S HOW YOU DO AN INTERVIEW, PEOPLE
Lauren's equally perplexed about why, at this point, the multi-talented Natalie and Emma have been sent home, when people like Rhiannon, who the judges have so far called a not-so-great singer and a not-so-great dancer, lingers like a two day tequila hangover.
The judges say it's because she has star quality, folks. Star Quality.
SPECIAL
The girls' call sheet for the day directs them to some kind of combo dance/gymnastics studio where they will spend the day learning a new routine.
Today's goal is to test their "triple-threatedness" (a word I did not make up). So with the help of two members of Legally Blonde's dance team, Rusty and Michelle, and with no help from Duff, the girls are going to practice singing, acting and dancing at the same time.
IT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS. TRUST ME. I'M A BROADWAY STAR, REMEMBER?
All of this triple threat stuff has the girls on edge. Because apparently while they feel they deserve to be instantly made into Broadway stars when they're 2 months outta high school, none of them feel confident that they can sing and dance at the same time.
It's time to put these girls to the test with some grueling activities guaranteed to determine that they are in fact the cream of the crop.
First up: Saying a line, being lifted onto Rusty's shoulders, then saying another line
Brutal.
IF YOU COULD FEEL HIS BONEY SHOULDERS, YOU'D UNDERSTAND OUR CONCERN
Next: Dancing with pom poms while singing. Oh well, now we know they are at least good enough to be JV cheerleaders.
U-G-L-Y YOU AIN'T GOT NO ALIBI! YOU UGLY!
And then finally: Tap dancing.
TAPPA TAPPA TAPPA
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Comments (4)
Considering that Bailey and Rhiannon are only a year or two older than Lauren, the too young comment is kind of lame. I do think she acted a bit immature at times, but the talent is there.
If Autumn does go home, there's no way Rhiannon can get thru the entire show (which is the final audition) so I think that Bailey is the winner. And if it's between Bailey and Autumn, they'll say Autumn is too old. Although isn't Laura Bell Bundy at least 30? She's starting to look it....but being on stage, age isn't as apparent as it in on TV or movies (no close ups in hi-def).
Considering that I would like Autumn to win, that probably means it will be Bailey. I did read somewhere that the winner isn't guaranteed to keep the role indefinitely but rather it will be for a short amount of time and then extended only if ticket sales are good. But I have no idea if that's true or not.
1 of 4 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on July 18, 2008 5:11 PM
Great recap!! I, too, am confused by the comment about Lauren's age. How old is the character? I believe Elle is in her senior year in high school...applying to Harvard and starting to attend Harvard??!! So, Lauren is 18...I don't get it. I think you're right about it being rigged too. The judges comments ridiculously run the spectrum of "you were great" to "we just don't see it" at the oddest times.
2 of 4 | Posted by CharlaLiz | Posted on July 19, 2008 10:34 AM
Actually CharlaLiz, Elle would technically be 22, since you can't attend law school until you've finished a 4 year degree. Regardless, I don't really understand that comment either. Lauren's been 18 the whole time so I think it's kind of ridiculous that they strung her along for 7 episodes and then realized "Oops you're only 18". I like Rhiannon alot, I think she sparkles and she's fun to watch but unfortunately the vocals aren't there. Out of Autumn and Bailey, I would prefer Autumn to win, I find Bailey pretty annoying for some reason. Oh well
3 of 4 | Posted by hollybear | Posted on July 19, 2008 3:44 PM
I've been saying the show is rigged from the get-go.
Proof is, their reasoning is clearly skewed -- I find Autumn quite charming, her dancing is definitely no worse than Rhiannon's, and she has a similarly perky personality. Rhiannon simply cannot sing. What they hell is she doing this far into the game?
I don't see any great chops on Bailey either. She dances like a virgin And the self-righteous holier-than-thou act just annoys me to no end.
Lauren deserved to go home, simply because she looks like any ol' mutt-faced sorority chick from the Midwest. Seriously, it's like they grow them in huge farms out there.
4 of 4 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 19, 2008 4:11 PM