On the way there, the girls split up into 2 cabs. Rhiannon and Bailey in one, and Lauren and Autumn in the other. Simple seating arrangements? I think not! This is a demonstration of the two sects that have formed in the Pink House. Rhiannon and Bailey, or Team Rhiannley, feel that they are taking all of this pressure in stride, remembering to stay friends at all times. They think that the energy of Autumn and Lauren, or Team Laurumn, is severely and unduly negative.

THEY'RE BRINGIN' US DOWN, Y'ALL

The mentality of Team Laurumn, on the other hand, is "Whatever. Eff you. I'm trying to win this thing." If you ask me, I think it's a lot more practical of an approach.

THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE BRINGIN' YOU DOWN

The girls arrive at the audition stage where, for the first time, they are provided matching costumes.

TEAM AMERICA

Rhiannon is the first to tackle the beast that is "What You Want." At first, she is her usual sparkly self, impressing the pants off the judges, who think she is just darling.

But then, as she nears the end of this marathon piece, she can barely catch her breath. She's yelling out lyrics between gasps for air. It's just awful.

NO NO, DON'T MOVE. I JUST NEED TO REST HERE A MINUTE.

When she was all done and it was time to hear what the judges had to say, I was expecting harsh criticism. Instead, because they have a hard on for Rhiannon, they were just like "Well that was wonderful! You were completely out of breath, but that's ok!"

Bailey was the second to take a stab at it. Everything was going well until it was time for the quick costume change. She puts on her hat, a sort of majorette style thing, and it slides down over her eyes. She pulls it up, it slides down. She takes it off, puts it on, it slides down again. Give it up! It's clearly too big! She realizes then that she's been handed Lauren's hat by mistake.

By the time her 30 seconds of changing time have run out, she is forced to just go on with the wrong hat.

DAMN THAT LAUREN AND HER GINORMOUS HEAD

But of course, because nothing EVER goes wrong for Bailey, the judges think it is just fantastic that she has to keep pushing her hat out of her face.

WHAT?! ARGH!

Lauren is up next and although I think she did even better than the other two girls before her, the judges were not into her at all. For those of you who suspect the competition is rigged, I've gotta say, I'm starting to agree.

WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?

Last came Autumn. Her dancing was about as blah as usual, but it was nice to at last hear someone who could sing the whole thing without faltering.

And you think the judges would appreciate it, but they didn't. Because why? Because they've got something against Autumn. I mean, they were like "Sometimes you're in the moment! But then sometimes I'm nervous for you."

THERE IS JUST NO PLEASING YOU PEOPLE

When they're all done, the judges deliberate who they'll string along for another week and who gets the big pink boot. They say absurd things like "Rhiannon was ready for opening night!" and then they pass off their list to Duff.

The ladies line up to see who makes the cut. But guess what. This week's list ain't no normal list. This time, it's blank.

AND FOR REAL THIS TIME. NOT LIKE LAST TIME WHEN I THOUGHT IT WAS BLANK BUT IT WAS JUST BACKWARDS.

And so the final four must all make their way to the casting office to meet their fate. Oh dear.

After going through their usual song and dance about each contestant's qualities and flaws and "blah blah one of you will star on Broadway," the judges cut to the chase and announce that it is Lauren who is going home this week. They say it's because she just seems too young for the part.

I QUOTE ADAM SANDLER IN THE WEDDING SINGER WHEN I SAY "THAT'S SOMETHING THAT COULD HAVE BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION YESTERDAY!"

I mean really, she's been 18 the entire time. Why'd you put her through this whole thing?

Oh well, Lauren. At least you made a graceful exit. She didn't cry or pout. She just thanked them and walked away, leaving the other three ladies to breathe a sigh of relief.

Legally Blonde The Musical: Triple Threatened Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4 

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Comments (4)

Anonymous:

Considering that Bailey and Rhiannon are only a year or two older than Lauren, the too young comment is kind of lame. I do think she acted a bit immature at times, but the talent is there.

If Autumn does go home, there's no way Rhiannon can get thru the entire show (which is the final audition) so I think that Bailey is the winner. And if it's between Bailey and Autumn, they'll say Autumn is too old. Although isn't Laura Bell Bundy at least 30? She's starting to look it....but being on stage, age isn't as apparent as it in on TV or movies (no close ups in hi-def).

Considering that I would like Autumn to win, that probably means it will be Bailey. I did read somewhere that the winner isn't guaranteed to keep the role indefinitely but rather it will be for a short amount of time and then extended only if ticket sales are good. But I have no idea if that's true or not.

CharlaLiz:

Great recap!! I, too, am confused by the comment about Lauren's age. How old is the character? I believe Elle is in her senior year in high school...applying to Harvard and starting to attend Harvard??!! So, Lauren is 18...I don't get it. I think you're right about it being rigged too. The judges comments ridiculously run the spectrum of "you were great" to "we just don't see it" at the oddest times.

hollybear:

Actually CharlaLiz, Elle would technically be 22, since you can't attend law school until you've finished a 4 year degree. Regardless, I don't really understand that comment either. Lauren's been 18 the whole time so I think it's kind of ridiculous that they strung her along for 7 episodes and then realized "Oops you're only 18". I like Rhiannon alot, I think she sparkles and she's fun to watch but unfortunately the vocals aren't there. Out of Autumn and Bailey, I would prefer Autumn to win, I find Bailey pretty annoying for some reason. Oh well

itchy:

I've been saying the show is rigged from the get-go.

Proof is, their reasoning is clearly skewed -- I find Autumn quite charming, her dancing is definitely no worse than Rhiannon's, and she has a similarly perky personality. Rhiannon simply cannot sing. What they hell is she doing this far into the game?

I don't see any great chops on Bailey either. She dances like a virgin And the self-righteous holier-than-thou act just annoys me to no end.

Lauren deserved to go home, simply because she looks like any ol' mutt-faced sorority chick from the Midwest. Seriously, it's like they grow them in huge farms out there.

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