At the end of last week's episode, 4 girls stood before the judges in the casting office to see who would be sent home. They told Lauren she was just too young and not cut out for the role of Elle Woods. As she was dismissed, the three remaining contestants: Bailey, Autumn and Rhiannon, stopped crapping their pants and breathed a sigh of relief. All was well with the world.
And then Judge Bernie told them one more would be sent home. Cue end credits. And for a week we were left to wonder who the unlucky gal would be. I put my money on Autumn, who the judges have never really been to keen on, while they simply adore Bailey and Rhiannon
AND THEN THERE WERE THREE...PINK...TRACKSUITS
So at the start of this week's episode, the final three still stood there, holding hands, paralyzed with fear. One by one, the judges offered their final opinions on each of them. "Rhiannon, you sparkle. Bailey, you have all the right moves. Autumn, your voice is wonderful."
"Autumn, when you're on you're on. Bailey, you are so Elle Woods. Rhiannon, you are so easy to watch."
Yaddi yaddi yadda. Then I got up from the couch, made myself some tea and took the dog for a walk.
Later, I sat back down to see how the elimination was going.
"Bailey, you have such nice hair. Rhiannon, you have nice hair too. Not as nice as Bailey's, but still nice. Autumn, your hair doesn't look so great and we're sorry we made you dye it blonde. Now your face and your hair are all sort of uniformly colored."
I got up from the couch again, this time to throw in a load of laundry and tidy up my bedroom.
When I got back, Judge Bernie was face down on his desk, drooling a bit and mumbling "Rhiannon....Ba-Ba-Bailey...Autumn...Autumn...Bailey...Rhiannon." The girls had given up, and were now seated on the floor, splitting a pizza and chatting about their boyfriends.
Finally, just before the sun came up, the judges called the girls to attention and announced who else would be eliminated.
And I could NOT believe it, but it was Rhiannon.
BUT YOU SAID I WAS SPECIAL
She took the news pretty well, all things considered. I mean her face nearly melted off when they said she was cut, but she pulled herself together to thank the judges and make a hasty exit. In her parting interview she said "I mean, it sucks."
I know, ma'dear. But it's ok, you've still got your whole life ahead of you. I know right now you think your dream is to be Elle Woods on Broadway, but you're only 19. And if I followed the dreams I had as a 19 year old, I'd be...well I don't know where'd I be by now because I didn't really have any dreams as a 19 year old. So good work, Rhiannon. At least you have dreams!
And here we have our final two contestants:
I'M CRYING BECAUSE I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW
Bailey and Autumn. But they can't spend too much time celebrating. They've got a huge audition ahead of them. The big'un.
So the girls go home to get some rest. The next morning, they wake up to a palpable tension. Here they are. The final two. A fight to the death.
They sit at the breakfast table, staring each other down. The conversation is minimal.
I POISONED YOUR MUFFIN
The girls perk up, however, when the call sheet arrives.
"LET ME SEE IT!"
"HELL NO!"
They are instructed to go to the Palace Theatre, which is where Legally Blonde is performed.
The chance to enter the theatre through the stage door, see all the dusty props back stage, and walk past a bunch of dressing rooms has the ladies feeling positively delighted.
And when they get to walk out onto the stage, where one of them will be performing as Elle Woods (for at least one season before she gets dropped), the feeling is so overwhelming that they stop hating each other for a few minutes and even hold hands.
HOW CUTE
The two of them stand together hand in hand for a long time, saying something like "It's glorious." They are so astoundingly happy just to stand there on that stage. I don't get it, but maybe I would understand if I wanted to be a Broadway star. Or if I liked musicals even a little bit.
And just then, Duff comes in to ruin the moment.
TA-DA!
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Comments (10)
i was rooting(sp?) for bailey the whole time! buttt my friend is in the show, and she said that baileys contract is only for 2 weeks! EEK!
1 of 10 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on July 23, 2008 10:04 PM
I always watch this show on OnDemand so I'm always a week late with reading your recaps. HOWEVER!!! Last night a commercial came on for stupid, Inside Edition, where I was treated with the spoiler. I was devasted. However your recap has made me less upset because it was so funny.
I'm pissed Bailey won. I loved Autumn, but I know she just couldn't dance well enough. You will get you chance one day Autumn! I do find peace in knowing that Bailey's contract is only two weeks though. HAHA, but wait...does that mean that they are holding REAL auditions for the REAL next Elle Woods? Autumn this could be it!!
2 of 10 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on July 24, 2008 5:14 AM
I really wanted Autumn to win but knew from the very beginning of the show that it would be Bailey.
I read that she had a 6 month contract but I'm wondering if they have a clause in there that after 2 weeks or so if ticket sales aren't good, they could replace her. Seems though that with all the training etc. they've probably done with her, they wouldn't want to start from scratch with someone totally knew.
3 of 10 | Posted by murphena | Posted on July 24, 2008 7:45 AM
Thanks so much for the recaps all season.
Just thought you (and everyone should know) that there is a silver (or is it pink) lining for the top 4.
Autumn has been cast in the ensemble on Broadway and will be Bailey's understudy.
Lauren will be the Elle understudy in the national tour (also in the ensemble)
and Rhiannon is going to be Margot (one of the three "greek chorus" members) in the national tour.
4 of 10 | Posted by hightemp | Posted on July 24, 2008 8:09 AM
I live in NY and I have friends who are with the show and said that there is a 2-week clause in her contract. Wouldn't that be funny if Bailey's p*ssy got the boot after two weeks, but Autumn stayed. Ha! Bailey does look good dancing, but there's just something about her that I don't like. I don't know what it is.
5 of 10 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on July 24, 2008 9:01 AM
Thanks for the recap! Your captions make my life, I love "I poisoned your muffin."
By the end of the season I liked Autumn more, even though I think she looked like an old soccer mom once they wigged her up. Seems like she might have the better deal anyway though! Yay Autumn!
6 of 10 | Posted by BaileyQuarters | Posted on July 24, 2008 10:48 AM
I just want to know where I can get one of those wonderful, wonderful robes.
7 of 10 | Posted by surviving myself | Posted on July 24, 2008 11:04 AM
Oh dear. Bailey's not gonna last 6 months in this production. No way. She's just not a strong enough singer or actor. She was actually technically the weakest actor throughout the whole thing (well, Cassie S. not included...) so it's kind of ridiculous to me that she won to begin with. If her voice was at least strong I would understand, but her singing is often off pitch and lacks power and finesse.
Ah well.
At least we know now that Autumn is in the Ensemble AND understudying for Bailey. Hopefully Bailey gets sick a LOT. And in case anyone here didn't know, Rhiannon has been cast in the touring production as Margot (the main Sorority sister), which is really the role she was right for to begin with, and Lauren is cast in the same production as understudy for Elle Woods. So hooray for the girls. At least it's evident now that the producers really DID want to recast the show and it wasn't all a complete publicity stunt.
8 of 10 | Posted by tzohar | Posted on July 24, 2008 12:36 PM
Anyone catch the look on Bailey's dad's face when she was doing those pelvic thrusts in the last song? I thought fire and brimstone would flash out of his eyes and scorch her right in the hoohaw.
You could just see him thinking: "Now where'd she learn about that?"
I prefer Autumn, think she's beautiful, like the spunky personality, great voice. Be interesting if she can make a career out of this. Maybe a few dance lessons.
I can't imagine Bailey doing much beyond this. Seems like there's plenty of her type of blonde out there.
9 of 10 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 24, 2008 3:40 PM
I guess I feel better knowing that Autumn and some of the others still got cast.
I don't feel as good as I would if I just never bothered watching this show to begin with.
But still.
10 of 10 | Posted by hollywood sucker | Posted on July 25, 2008 11:22 AM