With The Hills off the air until August, MTV was left to find something to fill this temporary void. They needed something girly. Something superficial. Something that could only last one season. Enter Legally Blonde The Musical: The Search For Elle Woods. Contestants show off their singing, dancing and acting skills to win the grand prize: the leading role in Legally Blonde on Broadway.
The first time I watched Legally Blonde was on a particularly depressing night after I'd first moved to Los Angeles. I was alone in an apartment I was borrowing from a friend's sister. I had no prospective roommates, no prospective jobs, no prospective friends. The situation was grim and so I decided the only solution would be to spend a Friday night eating pizza and watching TV. Then Legally Blonde came on and I watched the entire thing.
The end.
It would be a better (nicer) story if I concluded with something like, "And that movie really lifted my spirits" or "Elle Woods was an inspiration. She reminded me that I can do anything!"
But no. That was the end of the story. It just happened to be on TV.
And so because of that experience I will forever associated Legally Blonde with giving up. With giving up and eating an entire pizza.
But apparently the folks at MTV and the producers of Legally Blonde: The Musical share this feeling. This "givingupness," if you will. I say this because, first of all, these Broadway producers have decided to hold open auditions to find their new star. Other types of shows that hold open auditions: Home makeover shows, wedding planning shows.
The second indication of givingupness is the casting of Haylie Duff (the lesser Duff) as host and mentor to the girls aspiring to be the next Elle Woods.
DON'T MENTION MY SISTER
Yeah, I know, I couldn't remember anything from Haylie's resume other than that movie she and the sis did about the heiresses to a cosmetic fortune and her role as Summer in Napoleon Dynamite.
But apparently she's starred in Hairspray on Broadway and so is therefore qualified to play mentor to a bunch of hopefuls trying out for a different musical based on a movie.
Okay, so maybe she has stepped out of Hilary's shadow, but I still think this show could've gotten an even better Duff.
We begin the show by traveling into Haylie's lair, henceforth known as the Haylair. Get familiar with this place, because we'll be here a lot.
UNCOMFORTABLE WITH HUMAN INTERACTION
Haylie explains how being on Broadway is THE BEST thing EVER. And so she can see why so many young women dream of growing up to be just like her (just humor her for a minute).
Then we move on to the competish. The nationwide search resulted in 50 contestants who traveled to NYC (the Big City!) to take a chance on their dreams, get suckered into buying a knock-off purse, and take pictures of themselves in front of the Legally Blonde marque on Broadway.
And here they are, crammed onto one stage, performing the classic "Bend and Snap" dance number from the musical.
AND A LITTLE BIT A THIS AND A LITTLE BIT A THAT AND SHAKE YOUR BUTT
The man to impress is Jerry Mitchell, the director and choreographer of Legally Blonde The Musical.
HMM, NO, YOU'RE ALL MEDIOCRE.
I don't know much about this guy, but he's apparently "legendary," so says Duff. As does one of the contestants, Cassie S., who calls him not just legendary but a "legendary director, choreographer, triple threat. He's like God."
I JUST WANT TO GAG HIM AND KEEP HIM IN MY BEDROOM CLOSET, YOU KNOW?
The term "triple threat" is thrown around a lot (A LOT) on this show, so I wanted to take a moment to make sure we're all clear on what exactly that means. I think it refers to a person who can dance, act and sing. But I'm dumb and also I despise musical theater, so I could be wrong.
After a montage of the girls dancing their little hearts out, set to Jamiroquai's "Canned Heat" (the song from Napoleon Dynamite--you can't escape your past, Duff), we narrow it down to just 15 girls. A much more manageable number.
YOU IN THE MIDDLE, QUIT HOPPING UP AND DOWN
And the girls couldn't be more delighted. Take Cassie O., for instance. Who feels like "a 6 year old who just got a pony for her birthday." I don't know, I can't relate to that precise emotion, but I guess she means she's excited. Well, good for you.
« Step It Up and Dance Finale Pt 1: Take a look at yourself and make a changé. | | Denise Richards: C*nt Is a Many Splendored Thing »
Comments (9)
"If you think you're tired from watching the first episode, wait until you've seen the whole season!"
These poor girls! Why turn what is usually a 10 minute audition into weeks of embarrassment?
1 of 9 | Posted by Inono | Posted on June 4, 2008 2:07 PM
omg! jer bear is on your show, too! i don't know what kind of presence he is on here, but on 'step it up and dance' he's the tim gunn-like mentor to the dancers and he's all fey adorability and cheerful enthusiasm. hopefully he spices up this show, too. i also didn't know who he was, but i now totally love jerry mitchell. i'm glad he's blowin' up the spot.
2 of 9 | Posted by theinternetsensation | Posted on June 4, 2008 7:05 PM
So where is Laura Bell Bundy going? I loved her as Elle! I'm bummed to see that she's no longer going to be the star of the show.
3 of 9 | Posted by VolGirl | Posted on June 4, 2008 9:12 PM
hahah hilarious recap. i love me some legally blonde and i love that you are recapping this. i think i am too fat for the role :( but i sing it in my car anyway. i am particularly awesome in the part where elle applies for college with the marching band behind her.
4 of 9 | Posted by flipit | Posted on June 5, 2008 2:24 AM
I plan on never watching this show... but continuing to crack up at your awesome recaps.
5 of 9 | Posted by redhaiku | Posted on June 5, 2008 4:16 AM
The one girl Cassie S familys house was on an episode of clean house!!! She was the most annoying person I had ever seen on television at the time and still is!
I wonder if her house has gone back to trash...hmmm
6 of 9 | Posted by calw | Posted on June 6, 2008 11:00 AM
"NEAT HEADBAND"
i actually lol'd. it was great
7 of 9 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on June 9, 2008 11:44 AM
That girl, Natalie, that was talking about being in the "family business...Her father is none other than David Landers a.k.a. "Squiggy" from LAVERNE & SHIRLEY!!!!
I hate Bailey. She is annoying w.t. b*tch that squeals all the time and can't even speak proper English. I hate her. If I met her I would throw acid in her face.
8 of 9 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on June 17, 2008 2:38 PM
Looooved the "saw that one coming" comment...still laughing about it.
But I am mad that they didn't post a pic of that Rhiannon girls weird faces when she was dancing.
9 of 9 | Posted by Pange | Posted on June 24, 2008 4:43 PM