We open this week with Wendy applying her make-up as her son brings her a fax detailing the 40 million dollar opening weekend of her new epic film Boxspring Mattresses: A Thing of the Past? Nico is making awkward sex noises while climbing her corporate stair master. Victory is waking up from a drunken stupor in a pool of her own vomit with a used condom in her ear, as Mr. Big-Lite calls her to invite her to lunch in Miami. Victory has had a rough couple of days since her latest fashion line crashed harder than she did the previous night and she had to let 15 people go from her company so she declines.

"Girl power is out? What?!"

Nico arrives at work and is greeted by her sassy black assistant to find out that Mike is in Hector's office, possibly conspiring against her. It seems that the office is in a tizzy because they lost Prince William. OK, let's split up to find him. I'll check the strip bars and you look at the hair club for Princes. Nico proceeded with planning a royal themed issue of Bonfire with Prince William as the cover boy, but only got a good faith, oral contract (awwww yeaaaa!) and another magazine has scooped the Prince out from under them.

Mike tells Hector that the Prince's press secretary said that their tactics were too stodgy for the royal family's brand of hip, urban and cool, which is why Queen Anne recently took up krumping. Nico assures Hector that she can get William back, without the help of any man or from Mike.

"Care for a cup of my signature sassy, black coffee?"

Wendy enters her office to find a funny vibe responding to her smiles and usual early morning charm. Wendy's assistant, or boss, or possibly peer, Manny enters to tell Wendy the scuttlebutt. An unpublished manuscript has been sent to the office, written by Wendy's ex-nanny. In the book the nanny describes Wendy as shallow as a bedpan and twice as cold. We can only imagine what she said Wendy is full of.

Victory is busy packing up her swatches and Tim Gunn life-size cut out to move into a smaller office, in the shady part of town where she has to carry pepper spray and a rape whistle. Her assistant, Reece, is trying to make Victory feel better about the move to the smaller office. "Hey, if someone tries to rape you all you have to do is loosen your bowels and soil yourself. It turns them right off!" Victory's assistant also lets it slip that she has received another job offer which gives her the chance to design. Victory encourages the girl to take the offer since it's a great opportunity, but Victory's assistant is committed to her and relies on Victory to dole out her insulin pills once a day. Victory insists that the girl take the job and the two hug it out.

Back at Wendy's office, Wendy is still incredulous that her dear, sweet ex-nanny, who barely spoke English and wouldn't harm a fly, could write such a bitter book about her. Wendy liked Mariska personally but didn't appreciate her work ethic or style, and now is faced with the difficult decision to take legal action or not against a dirty immigrant, which is so beneath her. Wendy refuses to take legal action, but also refuses to be blackmailed, choosing to focus on the weekend box office numbers and ignore the book. When Manny leaves the office, curiosity gets the better of Wendy and she picks up the book to sneak a peak.

"What about all the times I DIDN'T hit her."

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Posted in Lipstick Jungle by FozzieBare at 4:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: jito on Feb 21, 2008 11:53 AM.