Testimonials

Nico receives a message form a disembodied voice that her photographer friend Patty Bloom is on her way in her office. Patty enters, played by the late Melanie Mayron, and is followed by her assistant Kirby Atwood, with whom Nico had a torrid, bony affair just last week. The two lay on the pretense and act as if they have never met or had things inside of each other. While Patty rambles on about work or some such shit, Nico and Kirby continue to sneak glances at each other and smile before acting nervous and awkward again.

"And then my husband knocked the casserole out of my hands and said 'I'll give you something to cry about!'"

Victory is preparing for her date while her assistant continues to pack boxes of shoulder pads and denim fringe. Before Victory leaves she asks her assistant when she is supposed to start this new job and is told very soon. Victory's eyes well with tears as do the assistants as they both promise to stay BFFs and write each other all the time. Victory leaves the apartment and the assistant's face immediately changes, not into a vampire or anything, just a bitch. She rushes to Victory's files and steals a bunch of drawings, obviously to use later when she masturbates later.

"I'm gonna pretend they're all Angelina Jolie and that they're all naked. Awww yeaa. Come to momma."

Patty finally leaves and Nico thanks her and her assistant for their time and fluids. Nico exhales a sigh of relief before Kirby comes knocking on her back door again, this time literally. Nico immediately tells him that her dirty no no naught bits are off limits to him and what happened before was a one time thing and he needs to realize that not every woman will drop to her knees for a pretty boy in tight jeans! Kirby informs her that he simply forgot his notes before bending over to pick up his notebook and in the process reveal said jeans.

"O please, girlfriend, like I even wanna go near that trout farm again."

The ladies all meet at lunch to dish about boys and shoes. Wendy lets the ladies take a look at the manuscript that's causing the entire ruckus. They're both shocked at what it says about Wendy and Shane, but more shocked that Shane doesn't seem to care based on what Wendy told them. Wendy is also starting to believe some of the horrible things that were written about her since she doesn't get to spend quality time with her kids and when hard pressed can really only come up with one of their names. Victory offers to buy wine for the table since she has no assistant or work to go back to. The ladies try and boost Victory's spirits but she's intent on settling in with a big bottle of wine and the latest copy of Guns and Ammo.

"Don't even get me started on Lucy Liu. There'd be two hits: me hitting her and her hitting the floor." *hiccup!*

Nico strides into her office in swayback Manolos to have her sassy black assistant tell her that Patty has new concept drawings ready to be sent to her via messenger. Nico suddenly has a hot flashback of Kirby nailing her in his bunk bed and decides to swing by and pick up the drawings herself. When Nico arrives at Patty's office she finds that Patty had to make an emergency trip to Jersey to get her root perm tightened so Nico is all alone once again with Kirby.

Nico tries to remain professional, which is difficult when Kirby starts stripping down and lying on the Roman feast set used in their last photo shoot looking like a big pile of sexy ham. Nico reminds Kirby that she meant what she said and she said what she meant, but Kirby calls her bluff and tells Nico that if she really meant that she would have paid the bag of weed it costs to send a bike messenger.

This bared repeating.

From her car, Wendy calls Shane to check how many kids she has and remind him to scrub off all the gunk from her Jimmy Choos. Shane tells Wendy to stop obsessing about the book and start thinking about the wifely duties she needs to perform when she gets home. Wendy assures Shane that she has completely forgotten about the book, before hanging up since her driver is pulling up to her ex-nanny's apartment in the heart of Little Guadalajara.

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Posted in Lipstick Jungle by FozzieBare at 4:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: jito on Feb 21, 2008 11:53 AM.