Testimonials

While Victory is doing a little retail therapy she sees a shabby, hideous hat on a street vendor's table and her beedy little eyes go wide. Victory rushes over to buy it only to have it snatched up by a scary drag queen with an attitude. Is there any other kind? Victory tries to plead with Ferociouca to let her buy the hat since it turns out that hat was her last project in fashion school that she gave to her teacher as a gift. Ferociouca is not in a giving mood because she recently shaved her balls and now they itch so she tells Victory to blow her since the hat is now rightfully hers.

Mary J. Blige has been livin' hard, yo!

Nico and Kirby are still going at it hard, skunking, poodle balling, pulling the blinds, dirty sanchezzing, snow blowing, riding the 'coptor, etc.

This is how she got to be such a high powered executive. Multitasking!

Back at Mariska's duplex in Queens, Wendy is asking her former nanny why she would write such vile, vicious, angry truths about her? The nanny cries and refuses to answer and is saved when Carmine Ragusa pulls up in a shiny new Corvette to protect his lady love. He tells Wendy to take a long walk off a short pier since Mariska doesn't work for her any longer.

Wendy steps up to the man, towering over him by a good 2 feet and threatens the little man by telling him that she'll make sure that he never gets a publisher in that city. As Wendy starts to walk away Carmine informs Wendy that they already have a publisher and her reputation ain't worth squat, ya see!

"I left the Joe Pesci lookalike contest for this?"

Victory follows Ferociouca down the street, devising a plan through intricate costume changes, a cast of coconsprators and a fake mustache to retrieve her hate. Before she can put "Operation Beanie Come Back To Me" into play, Ferociouca turns around and tells Victory that if she comes one step closer she will get a face full of pepper spray making her eyes and cheeks puffier than normal.

Post coitus, Nico and Kirby are lying on the floor, wrapped in a tablecloth as if it's a warm Mexican surabi. Kirby takes his camera and starts clicking pictures of Nico, who is perfectly back lit with a warm butter filter, almost as if it were planned. Nico becomes embarrassed and asks Kirby to stop since she hasn't taken photos like this since her husband sent in photos of her to Beaver Hunt 3 years ago.

"You know what's really scary? I never did find that orange."

It's obviously bring your daughter to work day since Wendy's daughter is in her office eating whatever scraps of food she can dig out of the bottom of her mom's Birken bag. When Wendy realizes that her daughter is faint from hunger she starts to make her a sandwich but is interrupted by Manny with news about the book. He informs Wendy that the publisher is Bainridge Press, home of Janice Lasher, Wendy's sworn arch nemesis. Wendy previously passed on Janice's Hilary Clinton tell all, which turned out to be a pack of lies, much like the campaign, and Janice has never forgiven Wendy.

Later that evening Wendy is ruminating in her office when her prepubescent assistant comes in and asks if he can be untied now so he can go home. Wendy acquiesces but first asks him to retrieve the number for Janice Lasher. It's in her drawer, at her home, at her beach house.

"If you weren't holding my Visa I would quit this job SO hard!"

Nico is called into Hector's office for a late night beat down after he saw the proposed layouts for the Prince William shoot and found them objectionable since only one of the Prince's balls were covered in honey and only two midgets were supposed to be licking it off. Nico tries to tell Hector that she wanted to be edgy, but Hector tells her that the Prince's idea of edgy is loafers without socks, and neon blazers, Sheila E and a black partner that will later do infomercials. The Prince just got the Miami Vice box set. It's huge in London. Hector asks what has gotten into Nico lately since she's more free spirited and unreserved as if she had recently found something new, and young and almost completely hairless to play with.

"You better watch how you talk to me or I'll cut off your arms and your legs. Is that what you want? You want to live in a box? Do ya?!"

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Posted in Lipstick Jungle by FozzieBare at 4:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: jito on Feb 21, 2008 11:53 AM.