Wendy gives her old friend Janice a call to talk things out like mature and rational adults. Wendy tries to tell Janice about the script that came across her desk and is immediately interrupted by Janice, played with by Lorraine Braco, who is slowly turning into Brenda Viccaro more and more each day. Janice asks Wendy if she is calling to put in a bid for to make the manuscript into a movie, but Wendy informs her that Faye Dunaway already made that movie. Janice doesn't have time for chitchat and asks Wendy to call back in August when she'll have more time to kick back with a glass of whiskey and a pack of Marlboro Reds and talk.

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"Send over a redhead this time and make sure she's not as big of a prude as the last one. I like it rough and I like it nasty and she better be ready for that."

Victory and Mr. Big-Lite are on a date and she is still obsessing about this whole hat situation. Mr. Big-Lite encourages Victory to go back to this drag queen's apartment and offer a thousand dollars for the hat and it will all be over since drag queens like money. What he doesn't realize is that they like accessories even more. Victory tries to explain to him that the hat means something to her as it was the last thing she designed before making it big in the real world. She tells Mr. Big-Lite that she came to this city with nothing but her dance belt and a tube of Chap Stick and by gum she made something of herself. Joe encourages Victory to go back to the drag queen and in lieu of the money, tell her that same story and when she drops dead from boredom, Victory can just take the hat.

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Woody and Sun Yi out on the town.

Wendy is in bed with her husband pouring through the pages of the manuscript, and obsessing about the chapter dedicated to her thick eyebrows and pushy overbearing stage mother. Shane encourages Wendy to put it down and get some sleep, but Wendy can't just let it go. Shane tries to seduce Wendy to make her stop reading, but it doesn't work to make her stop knitting or doing the dishes so his attempt is fruitless. Wendy comes to a section regarding a large fight that she and Shane had while on vacation and realizes that Mariska was not with them on that trip so some limey bastard must have told her about it. But whom? Whom!?

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"If you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you. It wasn't what you said, it was the way you said it."

The next day the ladies are together doing their yearly pilates class and complaining about how everything is wrong in their lives. Their purses aren't big enough for all of their disposable income, they have hot sex with increasingly attractive men and their diamond shoes are too tight. In the middle of the gabfest, Victory receives a call from Bergdorf's asking her to bring in some new sketches for them to review, so Victory has to jet and attempt to draw up some new sketches. Wendy then receives a call and it is from her former nanny Mariska, who is crying and apologizing.

Back at the casa de Nico, she is exfoliating, plucking, scrubbing and making herself stink real pretty for her husband who doesn't seem to notice or care. While her husband may be flaccid and dull as dish water, he does have insight into Hector's mentality when he mentions something about Hector being an uptight British prude which gives Nico and idea.

Victory is still on a mission to retrieve her hat from this vicious tranny. No not Brooke Shields, the other one. Victory arrives at the tranny's apartment building just in time to see an ancient Jewish lady entering a car and driving off wearing her hat. Victory is able to track down the woman at her synagogue and is told that that sweet, angular, single gal in her building gave her the hat as a gift. Victory offers the Jewish woman any amount of money for the hat and in true Jewish fashion the woman is not swayed by cash. That's just not their culture.

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Time has not been kind to Laverne Horowitz or Shirley Bromstein

Lipstick Jungle: Live Nude Boys Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6 

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Comments (6)

missymiss:

Good recap....i liked it

tifne22:

You lost me at Chinky

rachw00:

So funny! You're captions were the best. "You know what's really scary? I never did find that orange." LMAO.

fozziebare13:

Hey guys,
Thanks for the comments. I did remove the previously mentioned word lest I go down the path of Isaiah Washington and end up on Bionic Woman (shudder). Racism are humor are so interchangeable in my mind that I didn't even remember writing it until someone pointed it out. While still one of my favorite slurs, I did remove it. I did leave in all of the stuff about spousal abuse, rape, immigrant abuse, sexual harrassment, child abuse and dirty sanchezes. If your name is Sanchez, I mean no offense. :o)

cattyfan:

Nico (Kim Raver) looks like the mask in the movie "Scream."

jito:

Bea Arthur's hand! Seriously, how old is Brooke Shields now? That hand came out of nowhere.

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