We pick up right where we left off last week with Hector inquiring Nico as to why a sexy, love-interest with great hair is claiming that she sexually harassed him. Nico plays dumb and Hector believes her offering to stand behind her and fight this claim to the bitter, salty tasting end. He offers to take the burden away from Nico so that she can focus on work while he man-handles this smooth boy the proper British way.

"I'd personally down his bangers and mash with a good old sticky widget, I would."

Later Wendy gathers the ladies together for a sneak-peak viewing of her new period piece, Love in the Time of Herpes, One Girl's Strange, Erotic Journey from Bombay to Budapest. Victory says that she loved the shoes and how people were walking around on the shoes and wearing the shoes. Nico adds that it was powerful and sexy, like Dame Judy Dench. Nico also interjects the fact that she's been boning a 25 year old, also just like Dame Judy Dench. When the ladies try and question Nico about her illicit affair, Wendy's assistant toddles in with the butt flap of his jamies hanging open and tells Wendy that her next appointment is waiting. Wendy hurls her cell phone at her assistant and warns him that she will literally kill him with a shiv if he doesn't leave. The assistant leaves sucking his thumb and Nico mentions the teensy weensy little sexual harassment suit.

"See the real genius comes in because Ernest is scared stupid and that's the actual title of the film."

Later at a bar Nico recounts how the affair happened: copious booze, 2 Quaaludes and a rented room at the Double Tree Inn all conspired to create a magical evening. Victory confesses that she feels betrayed since Nico didn't feel that she could tell her, although to be fair Victory never told her friends about her torrid affair with the old man from the Six Flags commercials. Nico tells her friends that she wants to speak with Kirby to figure out why he filed the sexual harassment suit, Victory thinks that's a good idea and Wendy thinks it's awful recommending that Nico let her company take care of it just like when they buy her new assistants each time the last one mysteriously disappears.

After the ladies put Nico in a cab they begin talking about her behind her back. They both agree that she's a slut, not doubt about that, but can't agree on the rationale behind her actions. Victory claims that she would never cheat on her husband but Wendy reminds Victory that she's just young, single, and no one will ever love her.

"Did you see what she was wearing? I heard she like totally did it with the entire accounting department. She's such a slut."

When Wendy gets home she finds her husband dutifully doing laundry whilst wearing the French Maid uniform that Wendy makes him don each day when he does chores. Wendy, like any man, is turned on by the site and seduces her husband telling him to bang her up against the washing machine. He complies and they both lose themselves in the moment with Wendy screaming, "Sometimes I want to run over you with my car!" and Shane shouting "I only married you for the Green card!"

Finally! A film version of Love in the Spin Cycle.

Later Joe, AKA Mr. Big-Lite arrives at Victory's apartment for his weekly apology. Joe says that he will hang out with Victory's friends if that's what it takes for them to stay coital, but Victory is just drunk enough to tell him that that won't be necessary since he farts when he's nervous. She does inquire as to why Joe has never married and if the chronic gas weren't enough, he tells Victory that as a businessman he never commits to anything unless he's sure of the return, meaning butt-sex at least twice a week. Victory finds this insanely romantic so she straps one on.

"Yea, I was in a little movie called Weekend at Bernie's. You may have heard of it. For God sake, I'm Dustin Diamond then. Just give me a damn reservation!"

Nico comes home to find her husband pouring over term papers, many scented with perfume and all bearing lipstick kisses. Nico debates for a moment and then decided not to tell him anything about the sexual harassment suit, or the hobo she hit with her car or the island she purchased with Oprah.

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Posted in Lipstick Jungle by FozzieBare at 9:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: bdos88 on Mar 8, 2008 01:30 PM.