I loved Shelby! Even though I dont agree with the way the family lives (snakes,mice,cigarrets), I did like this family. I was hoping that Shelby would win, but I guess without the fakeness,you cant win. One of the girls, I think her name was maryAshton....she looked like a young britney spears.
Hadlie was pretty without the tons of makeup and fake tan. Speaking of fake tans.....I got one a couple of years ago. The color ran. I had brown shit in my car, on my furniture, everywhere. I had to call in to work that day, b/c I couldnt go anywhere looking like that!!! that was my first and last experience with spray tanning.
I was also surprised that no one was scared of Leo. The little girl who said "Oh, he is sleeping", or something like that, was sooo cute! Was leo really 6ft?? he sure didnt look it.
I cant believe how much these dresses cost. The consignment shop where I shop has a rack of pagent dresses. I was looking at them, and some very pricey looking dresses were anywhere from $20-$90.
I dont like that man judge. he was mean about what he said about Shelby? how the freak was her routine a gimmick? I think I know how he got to be Head Judge. Just ask Michael, our creepy director. I wouldnt want my child near him. And why are most of the moms fat,sloppy and braless??
I have been working on my own version of the Little Miss Perfect song. Here it is:

The Little Miss Perfect Pagent,
Where little girls look way to old,
With tons and tons of makeup,
And dresses made of 14Karat Gold
There are Fake Tans and Fake Teeth,
Fake Hair and Fake Smiles.
There is Glitter and Glitz,Sequins and Pearls. You want to look natural?
Excuse me while I go and Hurl.
OH, The Little Miss Perfect Pagent,
Where every girl is a winner. Wanna wear the Title and Crown? Then you must get much Thinner...

Shelby is the winner! She has two loving parents and whatever Shelby does in life she will do it on her own with the support of both of them for who she is and not what she looks like (and she is darling).
I'm sure in the pagent "family" the crown goes to whoever will pour the most money into the pockets of the organizers, etc.
Somebody just buy a crown and put it on Shelby's head and tell her the viewers have spoken.

You know, I would love to send Shelby a Prize!! I wonder how we could get her address or an address to send it to.

Dear Fatgirlsrule and wornsey:
Thank you both for being loyal readers and sharing your impressions of this weird show. There are some laughs, mostly at the adults.

Each week I always feel a little sad for the contestants. They go through a rough time getting ready to compete, no sleep, Mom's yelling at them and having to smile at creepy adults and then only one of them wins! What a rotten weekend.

Fatgirlsrule: I love your alternate pageant song. It's too bad you're not in charge of production on this show. I too love Shelby, how can you not? And I agree that judge David is a freak. The comment about Shelby's routine was ridiculous. Gimmick? How about prancing around the stage in a bikini and wiggling your butt, that is a gimmick.

Wornsey: Shelby does deserve a crown and it's lucky for the producers that we don't run that show. Michael and his creepy song would be out and so would that icky judge David. The crown and prizes would go to the least fake girl and then none of the pageant vendors would make a nickel.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a kiddie pageant that was about real kids without the "glitz", fake tans, flippers, sequins, false eyelashes, etc.? But then the pageant would make no money and that's what this whole pageant business is about.

At $500 a head ( and believe me it probably costs twice that to enter a pageant), with 111 girls in the junior miss and teen division, Michael Galanes would pull in roughly $50,000. Can you imagine his take of that $50,000? No wonder he smiles all the time. He probably also charges all the vendors for space at the show and pockets that money as well. Even if a girl wins $1000, it is often the amount she spent registering for the pageant.

It's quite a racket.

TVannie

Great recap, TVAnnie! Thank you for recapping this one. I made it about half-way through the show and finally gave up. These people were way too Southern for me and the accent was irritating the fire out of me. I finally switched over with the intention to going back to it, only to fall asleep of to the melodic chorus of "fuck, fuck, fuck off!" on Hell's Kitchen. Ah, well.

I agree about the spider web idea of the Pageant Family.

And if this is a web, then Michael is the big, vicious, Queen Macaroni spider sitting in its middle, licking his pearly veneered chops.

The web also exhibits the stereotypical inbreeding many accuse Southern families of having w/ its myriad pageant moms, pageant girls, pageant pedophiles, pageant judges and pageant Queens. You have to have the word "pageant" in front of your designation, or you don't exist.

Poor Shelby. Her rather excellent, yet unfortunately coiffed, parents didn't buy into the system and she got screwed by a girl laying on a surf board. Granted, in the grand scheme of things, a pageant girl laying down probably makes more sense and is a more realistic job outcome. Everyone I ever knew (I'm Texan and we are way more whack-a-doodle about these things) ended up barefooted and pregnant after school was up. If they bothered to wait for school to be up.

Shelby, you go be a zoologist. David the Judge is an arse of her thinks that a little girl kitted out to look like Jenna Jameson pre-boob surgery is "pretty" in a realistic way. You take your pretty eyes to vet school and become the next Steve Irwin. Without the nasty stingray accidental death.

Hadlie and her ugly swimsuit she is going to grow out of in six months -- what a waste of show money! -- can do her best to defy genetics a while longer, but I think Shelby has a terrific future ahead of her. Pretty girl. And Hadley, back when they wore "bathing costumes," the only colors they came in were dark tones not red. Red was associated with scarlet ladies.

Kiev. Wow. I do hope she was named for the Ukranian capital and not the tasty chicken dish. You can never tell in the South with it's many-vowelled and irresponsibly spelled names: Jessika, Karmen, Hadlie, Tifani, Shelby, etc. We haven't had a Cheyenne yet or a Sierra, but it is only a matter of time. (My high school cheerleaders were composed of 5 Tiffanys, 4 Jennifers and a Shyla. None of the Tiffanys were spelled "Tiffany" and none of the Jennifers were spelled "Jennifer." And through some act of a Southern Baptist God, none of the girls had names spelled the same, either. Southern names. Bless.

Heh. I meant "shoe" money, not "show" money. I was so horrified by the thought of wasting $400 on tacky "swimwear" that will never see water when it could be spent on a nice pair of heels.

And I also misspelled Hadlie, "Hadley." This is because it is unnatural to spell it "Hadlie." And I have had too much caffeine. Way too much caffeine.

Absolutely a loyal reader! I love watching the show and knowing you are thinking the same thing as it happens.
Just a post note about Shelby's mother and her dedication: that woman is a saint! She drives an hour and a half one way to provide for her family! That is a weekend drive from Dayton to Columbus I dread making once a month even to see beloved family! I can't imagine. Sometimes the best people on earth are just not dealt a fair hand. I only hope they have a computer and can read the support they have from your readers.

ME? In charge of Production?? I almost spit out my Macaronni when I read that!! Seriously, If i was in charge I would not allow makeup,fake teeth (which is my pet peeve), skimpy costumes, inappropriate dance moves,etc. And I would not allow the moms to stand in the audience and 'coach' their daughters. No wait, the moms look like idiots, so yea, i would allow that.
I seriously want to send Shelby and her mom and dad something. There are several Walter Cocking's in the directory, I might just give them a call and see if one happens to be Shelby.

Hey, Great recap! This show is unbelievable. I liked Shelby too, but I was rolling my eyes at the end when her mother was saying she has to explain why the judges didn't think she was pretty enough. Didn't she know that there would be only one winner?? And if Shelby had won, another mother would have to explain that to their daughter? Please don't enter beauty pageants then act appalled by them at the end. You know what you're getting into!

I'm glad that she won't be doing any more pageants. Maybe she can work on her zoology career!

Did Shelby's mother really say that she wouldn't be in any more pageants? I hope so!! Mom ought to put all that great energy and passion into something worthwhile like Girl Scouts or 4-H and get Shelby into school activities that will lead to going to college.

At least the horrible creature called "Kiev" did not win. I am not referring to the lovely child underneath all that makeup, hair, etc. I'm using the word "creature" to describe a creation, for surely that spectacle was the creation of a deranged mind like Dr. Victor Frankenstein. Only a Southern fried one that was trying to construct a new Dolly Parton.

Why don't southerners give their children names from the Bible? (rhetorical question)

"Shelby and her Dad relax and enjoy changing the firmness of the Select Comfort bed."

CUTE!

I thought the bed was a vibrating bed. What does a Select Comfort bed do??
Shelby's phone number is listed in the phone book, and online. I talked to Tracy on Saturday, Shelby was with her 'pagent coach" for her lesson. maybe we will see more of Shelby, I like her.

Hi TVANNIE,
Just a little tip. Don't buy a Select Comfort BED!! I was thinking of buying one and the reviews I read online are pretty dismal. Even if the Bionic Woman is hawking them!!!

Hi this is Tracy AKA Shelby's mom.
I was sent a link to this board from another LMP mom.
Shelby and I have both read your comments about her and would just like to say thank you.
Fatgirlsrule: If that was you I talked to saturday forgive me if I sounded harsh. I'm sure you realize Shelby is only 6 years old and we screen her calls very carefully. how ever she was in her modeling class at the time you called.
Wornsey: Trust me honey I am no saint. I did what I had to do. (I am no longer making that dirve daily)I see that you are from the dayton area. I am from the Fairborn area and still have family in that area.

Also a few words about Leo.
Leo is a ball paython that was a birthday gift when Shelby was 4. he was just a baby. with walter's help She has raised him herself. ( though cage cleaning falls to me or walter) He is not 6 feet long he is only 4 1/2 feet. and weighs only 5 pounds. The nature of the ball paython is non agressive that is why we allow Shelby to have him and work with him like she does. She is very proud of her pet. So much she is an active member in our local herp socity. Attending functions with him at the museum of science and history to show other kids that reptiles can be our friends.

Shelby has competed since LMP and has done well and not so well. She does more of the natural pageants. and has a few pageants in the near future. If she continues to enjoy pageants then she will be allowed to compete. She does have a say in what ones she does.
Once again thank you from Shelby and sorry I wrote a book.

Tracy!! do you have a myspace or email where we could 'talk'. I just love Shelby, she reminds me of me when I was her age. I am a pediatric nurse and some kids just touch my heart so much, and Shelby feels to me like my little patients feel to me. I would love to meet Shelby and You! God Bless your family.

Fatgirlsrule:

Call me later today. It's 7am now. Shelby has a few places she is going to be this weekend Even Leo will be with her.

I just watched Shelby and I fell in love with her. She was so sweet and natural. It broke my heart to see her mother at the end of the show. I can understand exactly how she felt. The producers held out a hope that Shelby it was just like watching a bully in the playground. They had to rub your face in it with that song.

Forget those fake pagents. Shelby is real and that is what life is all about.