Well Gasmii, here we are at Episode 4 of Little Miss Perfect and we've got a whole new ball game. I've always believed that the reason women put their children into beauty pageants is because they really want to be in the pageant themselves.
This week, we can test that theory because this week it is "The Perfect Wife and Little Miss Perfect Pageant". Moms and their daughters in the same pageant. The women will compete with their daughters as a team. So it's Mom and Daughter vs. other Moms and Daughters. What will the teams do for "Wow Wear"? More importantly, will Michael sing that creepy "Little Miss Perfect" song? If so, will one of the Moms decide to take Michael's offer and hop on his magic carpet and take a wild ride and will we have to watch?
It's bound to be a wild ride my little Gasmii. Can you imagine how embarrassed you would be as a kid to play dress-up WITH your Mom, in front of people? And then God forbid, Mom wants to do "Wow Wear"? What if your Mom dances? Or tries to act cool? Remember how you wanted to die when your Mom danced in front of your friends? And all of this on TV. Just the thought could send some kids into a meltdown temper tantrum the likes of which I've never seen. There is bound to be some kind of knockdown dragout fight or at least an accident (hint,hint).
First up we meet Alexa and her Mom Traci. Alexa is a pretty little blonde haired girl and her Mom Traci is also pretty and is a girl, but that's pretty much where the resemblance ends. Alexa is a normal little kid. She says she is new to pageants and that they have never been in a Mother Daughter pageant.
Traci smiles a lot and looks like she is a nice lady, but then she opens her mouth. Traci says she is training Alexa using "active participation". She is constantly talking all the while Alexa is rehearsing. Traci's comments are not nice and gentle corrections "eye contact, eye contact, eye contact, turn. Why do you look down????" Active participation sounds a lot like verbal abuse and/or diarrhea of the mouth.
This woman would give me a nervous twitch. Where the heck is my chocolate? I'm going to need chocolate to get through this show.
Traci says that pageantry opens a lot of doors. There are news anchors, people in high positions, they sometimes have been in pageantry. And without missing a beat, Traci shrieks at Alexa "Why are you looking down!!"
I think she is looking for a big rock to beat her head against.
Traci then bends down and pounds the bottom of the door with her hand and says "Judges are never down here!". Then she tells Alexa to do her Miss America turn, you're confident, you're about to win this big fat crown. Yes, perfect".
God, if I can't have chocolate, can I at least get a prescription for valium?
Over to the other pageant house.
We meet the other team, Kendall a pretty girl with blonde hair and her Mother's name is Rhonda. They are working on their talent (wow wear) clothes. Kendall says she thinks this pageant will be more "funner" with her Mom in it. Kendall and her Mom wrestle around while they are getting ready, they are laughing. It looks like they are really having fun. Just the opposite of Traci and Alexa.
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Comments (10)
I too got a little choked up when Kendall said her mother was beautiful and curvy! Good for you, honey :) I'd much rather have ten moms like Rhonda than one like Traci. Ick!
Also, I thought Traci said Jonathan Kayne designed her dress...aka Kayne from Season 3 of PR. I know he designs pageant dresses, so I thought it was him! I could be wrong though.
1 of 10 | Posted by lesleymoon | Posted on March 28, 2009 7:51 AM
Michael should have sang Devil with a Blue Dress, at the end of this pageant. Kendal and Rhona were by far my favorite family in the series. What the heck were they doing on this show? All of that love, family values, common sense and respect. Weird.
Oh, and the bake sale! Yum. I would have bought the entire table. Annie, we never share chocolate with the husband. It immediately goes to it's hiding place upon arrival home from the store.
2 of 10 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:02 AM
Dear Lesleymoon and shantigal,
Lesley- You are probably right about the dress designer. I thought she said Kane, but when I looked it up the only Jonathan on Season 2 was Jonathan Wade and he was eliminated after the first challenge. I'm sorry I don't watch project runway. I'll bow to your knowledge. It's funny Traci would get the season wrong though. Oh well.
And Shantigal, my husband was the culprit, but he just returned with a Milky Way for me so all is forgiven. Besides, he's a honey. But I will be careful with the Milky Way or it will go missing too.
How about these crazy pageants? I'm really glad we didn't have any of this nonsense growing up. We didn't have pageants, malls, fast food or 24-hour tv. Kids today would not know what to do on a rainy day with nothing but a bike and a library card.
Love and luck,
TVannie
3 of 10 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on March 28, 2009 11:21 AM
Traci reminded me sooo much of Kate Gosselin with her yelling and criticizing the kids and complaining about this and that. She looked like a total moron with those big fat Donald Duck lips. If only those lips would have stayed that way. Traci is a very fake person, and I dont like fake.
When Alexa kicked her in the mouth, i wanted to jump up and applaud. Way to go Kid!!
Rhonda and Kendall were so real and the bond between that mother and daugher was easy to see. Their talent routine was Amazing! Alexa has some great gymnastic skills. By the way, if you havent had chochlate covered marshmellows, you dont know what your missing!
I still cant figure out why Traci had a Sash on at the airport, once again she looked like an idiot.
I cant stand the judge David or DAve or whatever he goes by. He is a PIG.
And has anyone ever noticed that judge DeDee's lipstick is never just on her lips? She has it all around her mouth and it looks nasty. you would think a Beauty Queen would know how to put lipstick on.
Well, even though Kendall and Rhonda deserved to win, it was no surprise who the winner was going to be.
I remmeber the show with emily tye and her mom, emily was like 3 yrs old or something. The mom said on that show that everyone was Jealous of Emily.
4 of 10 | Posted by Fatgirlsrule | Posted on March 28, 2009 7:52 PM
I respect Timber for serving his country in a dangerous job, but I can't respect that he lets Traci be a Mommie Dearest (or Mama Rose?) to poor Alexa. He seems whipped; maybe she yells at him all the time, too.
Annie, don't you know why he was wearing his dress white jacket? Why, he is Traci's 2nd most important accessory, next to Alexa!(Just wait until Alexa hits puberty; not only will she develop a mind of her own and possibly a rebellious, oppositional personality, but she will be PRETTIER and HOTTER than Traci. Heh heh heh.)
I think Traci's lips should be placed in the Hall of Shame with Ashly's mom's sagging breasts.
Rhonda and her husband and kids are awesome. Maybe they're doing pageants because Kendall wants to?
5 of 10 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 28, 2009 8:29 PM
P.S.
Annie, your recaps just get better every week. I really enjoy them!
6 of 10 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 28, 2009 10:40 PM
TVannie, I love your recaps, but this show really pisses me off. That Traci woman was such a nasty bitch to her own daughter. I cannot even imagine being a child and having to deal with her all the time. Run away from home, kid!
Her blown up lips looked exactly like mine the time I had an allergic reaction to a blow pop. The difference is, I didn't pay for mine, didn't want them, and cried until the swelling went down.
Rhonda and Kendall were adorable, but I knew they're weren't going to win. That's why pagents suck. You can be a complete asshole to your kid and still win the crown.
UGH. I'm sorry I'm so cranky. Guess I should drink my morning coffee before posting!
SWAK, PottyMouth
7 of 10 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on March 29, 2009 4:26 AM
Dear Annie,
I'm still giggling about Tracy's fish lips. Her poor, poor daughter. I'm thinking that mom needs to sell the $4,000 dollar dress and start a savings account to pay for all the therapy Alexa is going to need.
Love reading your recaps : )
hugs,
Yenta
8 of 10 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on March 29, 2009 7:14 AM
Dear Fatgirlsrule, pixielated,Pottymouth and Yentapatrol,
Thank you all for your support and for being loyal readers. Only 2 shows left.
Fatgirlsrule: I agree Kendall was very talented as a gymnast. She really shined when she was performing with her Mom. And I will try chocolate covered marshmallows. They look so good.
Pixielated: You are so right, Traci is like Mommie Dearest, only blonde.I like the idea of the Hall of Shame- Ashley's Mom's breasts and Traci's lips will be the first inductees.
And thank you so much for the encouragement. I get a lot of good ideas from you and the others it really helps me improve. I'm always happy to hear from you guys.
Pottymouth: I'm so sorry your lips swelled up from a bad reaction. I bet that hurt really bad. And don't worry about being cranky, this show pisses me off too because I don't like to see little kids get bullied by anybody much less the person that is supposed to love and care for them. It just makes me crazy.
And my dear Yenta, you are so kind. I love your recaps. They are always well written and funny.
Thanks all you guys. I'm almost sorry the torture will be done soon.
But not to worry, we have Emily Tye this week and a late-breaking news story for the very last week.
Can't wait to share it with you, I am hard at work on the Emily Tye story. Hope to post it soon.
Love and luck,
TVannie
9 of 10 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on March 30, 2009 4:53 PM
Good re-cap :-)
They had a mini marathon today.I had never seen the show before.
While I agree that teaching kids the value of a dollar is a great life lesson,I must say,those things looked liked turds rolled in kitty litter.:-))
Robinez
10 of 10 | Posted by Robinez | Posted on May 28, 2009 8:18 PM