Brandi stands on a crate and her dress is blown up by the fan her Dad hooked up for her. She is escorted off stage by her brother the long suffering Zack. The performance was pretty good with no mistakes. At this point, I would say that Brandi and Ashley are probably tied, or close at least very close.
The last category is the beauty or evening gown competition. I don't think little girls really wear evening gowns. Since almost all the dresses are short, gown doesn't really fit. I can't really think of a word that works better, but evening gowns always give me a mental picture of drinking a martini and smoking a cigarette in a holder while wearing elbow length gloves.
There is a little break in the pageant so the contestants can change into their beauty gowns and re-do their hair and make-up. Since the competition seems really close, everyone is a bit nervous.
I always thought flippers were used only when a little girl is missing her teeth. It turns out, they are used by almost everyone so that their teeth appear perfect.
Brandi's Mom is fixing her hair, re-doing her make-up and putting on her pink and white dress. But there is a problem, Jean can't find the big canister of hair spray. She is tearing up the room and finally asks Zack to go get Dad to help look for the hair spray.
Jean finds the hairspray on the bed, and she gets Brandi's hair fixed and her dress fastened. Brandi is ready to go.
Brandi's name is called and she walks out onto the stage in her pink and white dress. This is the evening gown competition. The girls have to walk, smile, turn, show the front and back of their dresses and then walk off the stage.
Brandi's Mom and Dad are in the audience and watch proudly as Brandi comes on the stage. This is big deal to Jean and her husband is not making light of this, not even as a joke. Jean is wound up so tight right now the littlest thing could set her off and who knows what would happen.
Brandi's dress is pink and white with ruffles and sequins and it looks good. But her hair issue may be a problem for her. I don't know if it's the lights or something else, but her hair is not looking natural.
Brandi has a great smile is and is a very cute little girl. Her dress has a lot of ruffles and sequins and she looks very happy in it. I hope they can figure out what happens to Brandi's hair under these lights. Maybe it's because her hair is such a pale shade of blonde.
They show some of the other girls in the pageant as they come out on stage. One little girl in particular also looked like a contender for this week's prize. Her name is Beyonce and she stands out because she is not wearing a hairpiece, false eyelashes or even an outlandish dress. Obviously Beyonce's family believes in the "less is more" philosophy and I think that is works very well for them.
Next up is Ashley wearing her pretty red and white dress with the new cupcake skirt on the bottom, which covers the original skirt which is now too short for her. Ashley's looks good on-stage.
Ashley's Dad and brother are also in the audience with her Mom. They are all there to support her. Her Dad says it's all in the smile and Ashley has a beautiful smile.
Tina keeps trying to coach Ashley by doing hand signals. I don't know if Ashley is paying attention to her Mom at all.
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Comments (15)
Hey TVannie! Good job on the recap! My husband and I watch this show and we both promised each other we would never put our daughter through any pageants. These moms are scary!! Also do you notice the parents never look as good as their kids. I swear each time I watch this show the kid looks like she belongs to a million dollar family and then they show the family and they all look tore up from the floor up! Also the kids are more acceptance of the loss then the parents are! When all these parents are done pimping these kids in the pageant world I hope they come out sane and stable enough to handle the real world.
P.S I also love to eat Crayons! Baby Blue sky taste the best!!
Just kidding:O)
1 of 15 | Posted by niqui1 | Posted on March 5, 2009 12:46 PM
Citrus colored rainbows = my favorite part. We watch this every week to hear this song now.
How ironic that the state of Florida won't let gays marry, yet none of these people think anything weird about letting the gay man sing creepy lyrics to your baby or small child.
2 of 15 | Posted by killbondnow | Posted on March 5, 2009 6:06 PM
Dear Niqui1 and Killbondnow,
Niqui1- I agree the pageant Moms, in fact their whole families often look like they have no money at all and then you find out they spent $600 on a pageant dress. It's amazing how they can rationalize this pageant business.
And the kids always take the loss better than their Moms and Dads.
I'm glad you and your husband will not be putting any of your daughters in this craziness.
Killbondnow, I know what you mean about the laws and the reality of the child pageant business. I hope that someday all the people in this world will have equality and rights. We're a long way from that right now.
Thanks for reading and commenting, I hope to hear from you again.
Love and luck,
TVannie
3 of 15 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on March 5, 2009 7:33 PM
Jean is menopausal. Period. (sorry....).
Michael the pagent dude is sooo weird, he gives me the creeps.
I loved Ashleys' hippie chick outfit, it was so cute and it covered her up! I found Brandy's marilyn monroe immitation to be a little disturbing, but I do like Brandy, she seems to enjoy the pagents.
Those fake teeth have got to the be the ugliest things I have ever seen. What is wrong with a little girls natural teeth and smile?? They look retareded with those fake things in their mouth.
This show and the Toddlers and Tiaras is Wack, but Fun to watch.
4 of 15 | Posted by fatgirlsrule | Posted on March 5, 2009 7:42 PM
OK, here are these parents who think that their child is beautiful--and she is. But what do they do when they enter her in a pageant? Well, first thing, make sure to make her look completely unrecognizable and unlike herself.
I think that is Brandi's problem. She looks too fakey. They need to tone down the hair--it's way too shiny. The teeth, the makeup, etc.--she looks like a 1970s country singer.
If you think your kid is beautiful, let her show that beauty, like Beyonce and even Ashley did.
(P.S. I think these pageants are creepy and weird, but at least this one didn't have a swimsuit competition.)
5 of 15 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 5, 2009 9:38 PM
Well, you have to understand.
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, before the invention of cable television, there were only four or five channels. Less in some markets. So it's not like there was a lot of choice.
And it seemed like HeeHaw was always on. You couldn't get away from it. It was just there. Even in the northeast, which was the real conundrum. Maybe it was Dixie's revenge?
And back then of course you actually had to get off your butt to change a channel. So you ended up actually watching a show all the way through.
Now this show, on the other hand...
6 of 15 | Posted by itchy | Posted on March 6, 2009 12:10 AM
Oh yeah, hadn't finished reading the recap... I kind of enjoy your half-reverent/half-snarky style...it's definitely different from most recappers here. Dry in its own wacky way.
Anyway, about the chemicals comment, I was thinking the same thing: do these people understand what they're putting on their kids? These girls will all be pubescent at 10 years old and die from ovarian cancer by the time their 18.
At least that will spare a future of becoming frustrated frumpy hags like their moms. These women should be put away.
7 of 15 | Posted by itchy | Posted on March 6, 2009 1:20 AM
Dear Fatgirlsrule, Pixielated and itchy,
Thank you for the comments. I think the responses from readers are just as important if not more important than the actual recap.
Fatgirlsrule: Jean is menopausal. I've been in that Hell for 2 years now. Emotional? I cry at commercials. Sweaty? I live in Wisconsin and turn the furnace off if the temp gets above 40. It's not for sissies.
Pixielated: Parents that want to celebrate their children's talents, smarts or looks often are blinded by the reality that just being a child is a reason to celebrate. The other stuff is nice, but not necessary.
The swimsuit competition on Toddlers and Tiaras was awful last week. Judging a 2 year old girl in a bathing suit is creepy. So is parading her out on stage and telling her to wiggle her butt.
Itcy: Thank you for the comment on my sense of humor. Recapping is a learning process, and I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it.
I hope you all keep reading and commenting.
Love and luck,
TVannie
8 of 15 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on March 6, 2009 7:01 AM
I enjoyed your recap as well. I look forward to your next one on the little energy-filled redhead who seems to have a normal mom.
I came upon this show by accident and was mesmerized by the insanity.
When my first daughter was born, of course she was the most beautiful baby EVER so I put her in a baby pageant - the kind where you have to sell tickets or donate money or something ridiculous (which I didn't do). I dressed her in a little pink onesie only to discover when I got there that everyone else went ALL out. Needless to say, we didn't win and that was the last pageant she ever entered.
9 of 15 | Posted by Clair | Posted on March 6, 2009 9:29 AM
TVannie, love you lady!! I'm so glad to see you on another show. Of course, now that means I have to watch TWO kiddie pagent shows. Just the thought is so tiring. :)
Great job, as always. The Tina/bra pix gave me the giggles.
SWAK, PottyMouth
10 of 15 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on March 6, 2009 3:30 PM
I had a really cool idea: they ought to do a 'True Beauty' version of this show.
You know, put a bunch of mother-daughter teams in a house, tell them they're competing for a pageant title --but in reality they're judging the mothers for their abusive behavior toward these kids.
Now that's a show I'd watch.
11 of 15 | Posted by itchy | Posted on March 6, 2009 3:49 PM
Itchy, That Would Be Awesome!
12 of 15 | Posted by Clair | Posted on March 7, 2009 3:05 PM
Dear Potty,
Here's that love right back at you.
I had to comment on Tina. I think people that bully their kids and force them to stay up and rehearse need to be taken down a notch.
Love and luck,
TVannie
13 of 15 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on March 7, 2009 3:40 PM
Getting ready to watch the episode about the little girl with the snake. I only hope that DSS is watching also.
14 of 15 | Posted by fatgirlsrule | Posted on March 7, 2009 9:49 PM
I thought I was the only one who caught Ashley's facial expression when her mother said she could always tell when a kid didn't want to be in a pageant.
And I LOVED that little girl who said she loved to eat crayons.
15 of 15 | Posted by pufferoo | Posted on August 21, 2009 5:26 PM