So McVana isn't being the best manager in the world, but at least she's being a good mom! Cody is bored, so Dina works her connections and finds out that the Hef's staying at the Palms! She can't go alone (that would look needy) so she brings Cody and prays he gets a boner. Cody is shy and hides behind her the whole time. He tells us that he likes to watch The Girls Next Door, but doesn't get Heff's Mormon ways cuz he's a one girlfriend kinda lesbian. Aren't they all?
Are you sure we're not sisters? Well do you mind if I tell people that anyway? Come on, Lindsay lets me!
While Mother of the Year is up at the Playboy suite, Jeremy comes back to the studio to find Slo and Sue the Vocal coach chilling in the engineer's chairs. Slo doesn't wanna be the one to break up with him, but since McVana's busy raising another class act, she has to. She tells Jeremy that she's not feeling his track and it should be sung by a boy. Jeremy counters that you can't just treat people like that. HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Slo repeats herself and Jeremy, stunned (I think, I still can't see his shifty ass eyes) whines like a little girl about his feelings being hurt. Finally, Slo storms out of the studio tossing a "what's his problem?" behind her.
Jeremy is left only with older scraggly engineer guy to cry to. He chalks all this bs up to Ali being a kid and says that an adult would have just said "it's on". An adult would have laughed at you, told their daughter not to go near you, and alerted the Meghan's Law website that you might be a possible offender. Well, unless the adult was Dina McVana Lohan, who would just AIM you and ask you to babysit. Scraggly older engineer has nothing to say, but his face reads "you are so gonna be homeless, dickwad."
Post a blog about it on MySpace, chump.
Jeremy goes to find Slo so he can "calm this child down". Meanwhile, Dina's still upstairs at the Heff's giggling and playing with her hair, regaling the old man and his bimbo's with stories of having to decide between going to hang out for two days with Lindsay or working hard on Slo's recorded wreck. Piece. Of. Work. The harem says they are in a similar predicament because they want the Heff to stay in Vegas overnight but he won't, so they might consider drugging him. They all laugh, but it's awesome because you know deep down that they mean it. Wow, this has been a really good time, hasn't it, Cody?
Jeremy goes to the Lohan suite to sweet talk Slo. And by sweet talk, I mean he bangs on the door, tells her to hurry because he has things to do, and then calls her a diva. "That don't make a star! No it don't!" Shut up, wigga. I really hope McVana gets rid of this tool. Wait. She might not need to. Now, the Maloof's assistant is doing her job. She is sitting with Jeremy, listening to him blah and cry. She explains to him that this isn't the first time a loser ass poser tool producer has been dropped when an artist wasn't feeling the song. He refuses to listen and says he's gonna save the day by playing Slo a song with a female singer on it. Sorry to be crude here, but this could all be fixed with a finger bang. Maloof's assistant, however, is too nice to say it.
So, Jeremy pulls out his MacBook and opens up GarageBand to wow the engineers with his AppleLoops. The song sounds uncomfortably similar to the GoGo's "We Got the Beat". Maloof's Assistant nods politely, but refuses to call Slo on Jeremy's behalf. Poor guy has to do everything himself!
He calls the "child" on speakerphone and assures her that he's not upset with her. Well how fucking kind of you. Thanks for callin. He says he has a new track for her with more of a female vibe, and Slo actually says "Jeremy, you're really nice, but this isn't working out." LOL, and atta girl! I'm proud of her. She has made up a relationship in her mind and finally built up the courage to dump her fake boyfriend. Slo's growing up! I mean, her art is maturing.
All I wanna do is hang up! Where are the braille symbols on this damn thing?
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Comments (3)
Dearest Flipit:
Every night I get down on my knees and unzip some stranger's pants and wrap my li- oh, wait, I mean, I get down on my knees and give thanks to the All-Star Deity Team of Buddha, Vishnu, Jesus, Allah and Mother Madonna that I don't have to sit down and watch this horrible program because you selflessly do it for us. My TV would be so dented and cracked from all the random objects I would be throwing at it if I had to watch even 7 minutes of the Lohan Clan In Action Land, but you're like the Candyman, cuz you mix it up with love and make the show taste good... and even though iJeremy is a total iDouche and shares my first iName, I think you nailed him (and his pseudo-Stevie Wonder ways) to the wall! Much love and kissy-smooches to you for that, you're making 99.99999958823% of the population feel better about their own lives.
love always,
xoxox
J-Mo :)
1 of 3 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 15, 2008 8:40 AM
OMG! Poor Flippy . . . . I'm so so so sorry you had to endure that, it was painful in it's awesomely recapped edition, so I can just imagine how the real thing went.
I hear a giant sucking sound, and it's Slo's career being consumed by beelzebub! Hopefully this isn't too damned, being so close to J-mo's All-Star Deity Team, I guess it might come out even.
So, you've officially earned your drink back, you sooo deserve ten after this!!!!
Well, at least BB is back, YAY!
2 of 3 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 15, 2008 11:58 AM
Slo's career? This is a career?
Well, in that case, we can look forward to seeing her on I Love Money Season 3.
Thanks for taking the bullet, Flipit. No way I could watch this show.
3 of 3 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 16, 2008 4:21 AM