Previously, Dina McVana Lohan and the child she's currently trying to sell, Slohan, were surprised to find out that the douchebag who wore huge plastic sunglasses inside to brag about his Apple Loops was, in fact, a douchebag. They're on it, these two.

We pick up where we left off last week, with Slohan reading douchebag hanger on, let's call him Hanger, the riot act. In case you missed it or blacked it out, Hanger gave an interview (I know, I was wondering why the f someone was interviewing him too) hinting that he was dating Lindsay. He told the interviewer that he was getting texts from both Blohan and Slohan and that Slohan was playing matchmaker. LOL. Hanger is talking really fast and blinking his eyes real hard and saying he wants a chance to set the story straight, but when Slohan shuts up for a second he stays quiet, looking bewildered. And kinda gross. No wonder he wears those huge sunglasses. He's way cuter that way.

Wait! Wait! Stop talking! ...Forgot what I was gonna say. Carry on.

Hanger grabs his little pleather satchel and leaves, so Slohan goes to the ever suffering assistant, Alexis, to unload. She mostly repeats the same blabber that she spewed at Hanger, but Alexis has that all knowing smile that says "lol you thought that dude wanted to do you." I like Alexis. Mostly because she seems to know how ridiculous her bosses are and says it all with her face. She's the model employee unless you're really paying attention to her mug.

Anyway, Slohan whines and stutters and Alexis says that when you're famous you never really know who your friends are. I mean, if Ali wasn't a (sister to a) huge star, who would her friends be?

Instead of leaving, Hanger just goes outside to stew and play basketball. He tells us that he's not the type to fake being friends with a huge celebrity to make himself look better. He's just the type to AIM a desperate sex starved cougar until she agrees to try and use his crappy 80's tracks and get him on camera when she's shooting her really low reality show on E! Yes, Hanger, you're class all the way. For Slohan to not see that, the girl must be really, well, slow. Then he gets all manly and makes a slam dunk into Cody's three foot high hoop. And the crowd roars. What are you still doing there? Waiting for the bus? Go home!

Dina gets home and Slohan still hasn't stopped babbling. Instead of going outside and ripping Hanger a new one, McVana tells her kid that Hanger hasn't learned how to deal with the press yet and everyone makes mistakes. She's going to school him in the art of "tabloidism", because she's a good person. Also, there are currently no other young men in their early twenties AIMing her and she's not going to throw away her meal before she's eaten.

Later, after Hanger's scored 1028 points in kiddie basketball, he slinks his way back into the house. The Lohans are sitting around reading Ali's horoscope, which says something about impending stardom and always being third best and getting a nosejob the second there's enough money in the business account. "It always says that!" she shrieks. She takes her pimp and Hanger up to the master bedroom for a nice talk. Hanger admits that he called Ali a "matchmaker" and apologizes but says that he didn't say anything else and she doesn't need to freak out. Dina explains that her kid's not freaking out, she's just a spaz and there's nothing to be done about it until slipping your kids morphine becomes legal.

« Real World Hollywood: Dawg Pile | Main | Step It Up and Dance Finale Pt 1: Take a look at yourself and make a changé. »

Posted in Living Lohan by Flipit at 4:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: bdos88 on Jun 7, 2008 08:40 AM.