This week, an angel in Heaven takes pity on me and puts and end to Living Lohan.
I miss you already, Dina!
The Lohans are back in Long Island while the Maloofs convene in Vegas to fix the mess they made. Brother Lohan is back in town too, which is weird since he said three weeks ago that he never ever gets time with his family. Even more surprising is that his girlfriend Nina is with him after she had the gall to want to see her own family for one night during their last visit. Either BroHan has become kinder and gentler, or Nina has realized that a famous person's hanger on family is more important than her own and she needs to pay them the respect they deserve so they can trust her. I liked Nina at first because she seemed sweet and detached from the douche gene that runs rampant in the Lohan family, but seeing her back in that house killed it for me. Birds of a feather are douchebags together.
BroHan tells us how much he loves his wussy ass girlfriend, and then she has to go and muster up the courage to ask him for some alone time away from the family. WHAT? THEY'RE FAMOUS! YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND! Mike has trouble getting why she has a problem with little lesbian Cody Foster sleeping in their bed at night while combing her hair and asking if she's ever though about kissing a girl.
Famous people are different, m'kay?
Mike tries to get Slohan to help keep Cody occupied while he takes Nina to Red Lobster followed by a walk around the mall, but Slo refuses. She's very busy stalking the Maloofs and making up fake profiles that Jeremy might fall in love with on MySpace. BroHan decides to do the mature, grown up big brother thing. He sneaks out of the house so Cody won't come with them. Cold.
That face! AWWW! On a positive note, if he never felt these feelings, he wouldn't have the tools to win a GLAAD award for Best Actress down the line.
Cody is hellapissed. Later, after Nina's done standing in front of the Sears window dreaming of the day she'll be able to buy all of the appliances that will aid her in making her man proud of her, the kids all play poker together in the kitchen. Cody starts telling Nina to get her codependent bony ass back to college and says he doesn't like her tricking his big brother with her girl parts. She tries to laugh it off, but then he smashes cake icing all over her face. BroSlo and his moron straight guy friend (you know he's a moron straight guy cuz he wears his sunglasses over his baseball cap) LOL. Nina smiles too until she sees her boyfriend laughing at her, so as she leaves she tells him thanks a lot for sticking up for me, asshole! Ooooh Nina. Not gonna get that Whirlpool stainless steel fridge with a mouth like that.
BroSlo puts on his condescending Daddy hat and sits Cody Foster down for a little talk. They do it in the Lindsay shrine, which still makes me uncomfortable even after all this time. BroSlo asks Cody what's wrong. Instead of saying "my mom is a child pimp, my sister's a coke head who never calls, the other sister is aging way too rapidly and could probably break a hip soon, my dad's a councillor in a wacko Christian camp for kids just to keep the feds off his ass, and you just ditched me to take your Stepford Wife to Sears. Go fuck yourself, BroHan!", Cody just sucks on a water bottle and looks at Mike like he's the biggest dickwad in the world. Then he sweetly says that he wants a little alone time with BroHan without his motherwife around.
Lindsay doesn't like that behavior, Cody. Do you want your pic on this wall one day? Then don't be an ass!
Mike tells us how hard it is juggling all the wants of everyone around him. Can I ask a question? Isn't this the final episode? Why is it being wasted on this dude? Where's Dina and why isn't she dancing or trying to do a trainer or making Nanahan put on a pushup bra in case the cameras decide to go over to her house? WHAT GIVES?
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Comments (12)
Great Recap as always- sadly I've seen both Troll and Troll 2- if anyone out there was a MST3K fan you can watch the 2nd one with the riff from rifftrax.com. I'm not sure if the plot of the first one really warrented a sequel- or a remake. I didn't think the acting could get much worse than the second one but I guess we'll see when the remake comes out.
1 of 12 | Posted by Reiray | Posted on July 29, 2008 9:02 AM
Not going to miss the show but really going to miss your recaps of it so... onward to Season 2! Lindsay brings home her DJ girlfriend when BroHan is home and wacky "Three's Company" highjinks ensue. Actually, I think they're almost playing at a "Soap"-worthy level there. Am I dating myself with the TV references? I'd rather watch the NanaHan spin off anyway.
2 of 12 | Posted by kizarny | Posted on July 29, 2008 9:53 AM
hmm . . . is it possible that Cody is secretly being whored under the guise of whoring Slo, coz he's the only one tolerable . . . and Nanahan of course . . . and Flip, I can't imagine you wont get your wish with this one . . . at least Blo has some talent for acting, I actually liked Freaky Friday . . . but then, I'm a crack head! I'm so glad you're free of this!!!!! Yay!!!! and your doing such a fantastic job with BB and PR so all of you fans here, tune in for great recaps of , well, at least one great show!
and is it me, that ringtone reminds me of, "They're all gonna laugh at you!"
HUGS
3 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 29, 2008 11:27 AM
Long time reader, first time poster, cause this has to be said:
Who remembers "The Neverending Story" and Atreyu? Well, the kid who played Atreyu (who's now 36 and all grown up) is gonna be in Troll.
Atreyu.....Ali Lohan.
So wrong!
4 of 12 | Posted by LemonSugar | Posted on July 29, 2008 12:27 PM
Noah Hathaway is gonna be in that movie...he played Atreyu in "The Neverending Stroy".
Ali Lohan next to true actors? Oy!
5 of 12 | Posted by LemonSugar | Posted on July 29, 2008 12:28 PM
Haha, I'm such a goober. Told yall I was new to this. Sorry about that double post thing there.
6 of 12 | Posted by LemonSugar | Posted on July 29, 2008 12:30 PM
I scarcely remember the movie, but wasn't the theme song by Kajagoogoo! la la la la la la la la la . . .
7 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 29, 2008 12:51 PM
Actually Juddfan, it was by the LEAD SINGER of Kajagoogoo, known as "Limahl" and it was called "The Neverending Story" and the song was written by Giorgio Moroder who created many hits for Donna Summer and several other disco artists in the 70's. I own the 12 inch. It has a picture on it. Limahl with blonde tips and black hair underneath. I think Slohan should try that as a look. It would make her easier to hit with rocks if she ran away from me...
love, J-Mo :)
8 of 12 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 29, 2008 2:50 PM
OMG Flipit!
I just had to tell you that Jeremey the producer guy messaged me on myspace because I had Lindsay Lohan in my interests (bc I love reading about her on Perez). He was basically telling me that I might recognize him from Living Lohan and to check out his page. Psssh, I flagged it as spam. What a creeper.
9 of 12 | Posted by Chickadee2586 | Posted on August 1, 2008 8:25 AM
OMG Flipit!
I just had to tell you that Jeremey the producer guy messaged me on myspace because I had Lindsay Lohan in my interests (bc I love reading about her on Perez). He was basically telling me that I might recognize him from Living Lohan and to check out his page. Psssh, I flagged it as spam. What a creeper.
10 of 12 | Posted by Chickadee2586 | Posted on August 1, 2008 8:26 AM
OMG!! Flipit,
did you hear over the weekend the hilarious news about Ali's 'Troll' audition? Apparently the director and the producer she met with both are 'huge presences' in the PORN MOVIE industry, with many 'classics' to their names.
The whole entertainment TV media circus was abuzz with this story, and I was just about peeing my pants from laughter when they were quoting his comments during the audition: "Now make it MORE DELICIOUS"!!! Ha ha ha.
Sadly it is not surprising that Dina would allow her 14-year old to meet with a porn director. She is both that stupid and that calous to have done, knowingly or unknowingly. Her pursuit of publicy and fame both for Ali and herself is sometimes just painfull to watch, but this takes the cake. What a perfect cap to the whole season of this travesty.
I sure will miss it, mostly for missing your recaps.
11 of 12 | Posted by renata | Posted on August 4, 2008 8:56 AM
both of your comments grossed me out. haha. thanks so much for reading you guys. chick did you cancel your myspace? you better make sure he didn't give you a viral std. and i absolutely love that mcvana gave her kid to a porn producer!! LOLOLLL no wonder his sketch was so ridonk. love you guys, thanks for being with me through this weird ass show. xo
12 of 12 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on August 4, 2008 3:36 PM