Testimonials

When Dina gets home from lunch, little Cody Foster is playing by himself (as usual) in the back yard. McVana asks him if he's excited to go to Vegas, and he says no cuz he's gonna miss all his friends. Then he looks at the trees and pours a cup of tea for Mister Pecan. Poor little lesbian.

Softball. What a shocker.

Dina makes Mike play basketball with Cody to talk him into wanting to go to Vegas. Over a game of Horse, we get to see Mike whip out his condescending daddy skills. For every shot he hits or misses, Cody has to say a reason he doesn't want to go to Vegas, or a reason he does. Huh? I don't get the rules.

Shot one: I am going to miss my tea friends and we have a discussion of Dr. Seuss's greatest work next week.

Shot two: When Ali sings it sounds like a fire alarm, and I don't want to be embarrassed when the entire hotel has to be cleared.

Shot three: Mom's new face scares the crap out of me and gives me nightmares and I want her to have two weeks to heal before she comes close to me again.

Sensing that his little daddy game isn't doing any convincing, Mike tells Cody that he has to go because there's no one to stay with him. Then Cody says that he wants to go back to college with his big bro. AWWWWW!!! Mike gently explains that the Universe just wouldn't be able to make sense of there being two Lohan's in college at once. You don't want another Big Bang, do you? It could kill Nanahan.

Liberal Women Studies Major

Cody goes inside to inform his mother that he's going to college with Mike, and she tells him the rule about there not being more than one Lohan allowed into an educational institution at one time. He can't believe she has the same answer that Mike had. "Do you want another Big Bang? You could kill Nanahan." He rolls his eyes and says while Mike is in class he will stay by himself. McVana shrugs. "Eleven years old is enough to stay by yourself? Where'd you read that? The internet? Because the internet is full of liars! LIARS! Now call Lindsay and ask her if she wants to have her friend Samantha over."

Cut to the eye mask on a dressing chair in Ali's room:

The only man who will ever do that will have to be wearing this, kiddo.

Ali packs as her new little child drinks on the floor.

Cutest hamster ever.

Mike finds Cody in his room and tells him to be a man and just go. He has no choice, just like Mike had no choice but to leave home for eight months while Lindsay shot The Parent Trap. He knows that it sucks being the ignored non famous one, but it's their lot in life so get over it. Finally, Cody turns to his brother and says something that he should have said a long time ago:

Mike explains that this is Ali's dream and it should be over in less than twelve minutes. Besides, how else are they gonna pay for his college and Cody's college or even the house? Lindsay's not returning their calls. Cody finally agrees with a hug. Sweetest kid ever. Someone please get him out of that house ASAP. Are you curious about what's going on in Mike and Nina's relationship? Me neither, but here goes. He calls her from his cell to see how she's doing with her family she did in the car ride with his mom, and can't understand why she won't call him back. There. Enough of that.

Coming up, Slohan auditions for a Vagisil commercial.

Cody has relented on the Vegas thing, but Nanahan won't budge, so Dina calls her brother Paul over to help. While he tries to explain to her that she's not queen of the world and no one wants to hear Ali sing before the electronic filters are in place, Cody tries to teach Nana how to play Horse outside. She doesn't get it, but like his mother, Cody won't stop until the old biddie makes a basket.

Oy. How many lesbians does one family need?

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Posted in Living Lohan by Flipit at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: smolls on Jun 25, 2008 03:00 PM.