Ah, pretty beach. Pretty, pretty, serene beach. Aaaand…wham! Here comes the fuselage! The next few minutes are just like the very first episode of Lost, except with slightly fewer people. There’s the screaming and the gasping for air and the dead bodies floating around. The first perspective we get is Ana Lucia’s, and pretty soon we see that she and Eko are doing most of the rescuing. He pulls a little boy and his sister out of the water, and Ana gives the girl CPR and saves her. This right here is maybe the only segment of the whole damn show that I liked, because it set up a few things: The teddy bear we saw when the Others passed Jin and Eko was the little boy’s; Eko is good with people and very sensitive, since he takes the boy away while Ana performs CPR so that the boy won’t have to watch in case his sister dies; and, most importantly, Ana is a dumbass! As the girl comes to, she asks, “where my mom?” The look on Ana’s face is priceless as she realizes that now she has a kid she has to take care of. And naturally, she “promises” to get the kids home soon. Why are people on TV always promising stupid shit to each other?

Anyway, as we fade out to commercials, the Screeching Orchestra of Doom and Agony from the first crash scene plays as we see the aftermath. But compared to last year’s Panorama of Death, this is like a Diorama of Whining.

Eko was such a nice person before he went all intense in the jungle. Looks like he’s the caretaker of the kids, but asks Cindy, the flight attendant, to look after them for a second. Not that they really need it, I think, and Cindy seems to agree with me. She looks like there’s nothing she’d like to do less, actually. First she has to keep these kids in ginger ale on the plane, now she has to watch them off of it, too? Bummer.