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Recap: Lost: Kiss Me Kate - TVgasm

by EdHIll

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lost-11-08-06j.jpgWell this is the end of the line for Lost. Well, sort of. It's the mini season finale until the show returns in February with 16 new episodes. And what a sendoff to my TVgasm career than a cliffhanger episode of Lost? Well granted all episodes of Lost are kind of cliffhangery, but this one ramped it up a notch. We get new hints at the mystery, some twists, lots of action and Kate doing what she does best. Lying and having sex. Add canasta to that list and she and I are eerily similar in our talents.

The show opens in flashback following a brunette woman walking down a hotel hallway. When she gets to her door she turns around and we see that it's Kate wearing a hairdo that is so bad it makes you pine for her tussled "just got tortured hasn't been washed in 4 months" hair. At least that one breathes.

Kate opens up one of the boxes she has and we see it's a bridal veil. Then there is a knock at the door. The voice says that it's the police but we can tell pretty quickly that they are doing one of those cutesy couple role-playing games. Reminds me of the times Lizardqueen makes me be Ernesto, the 17 year old Mexican cabana boy to her bored rich socialite. God help me if I don't make the mai-tai just right.

When Kate goes to open the door we see that the police officer is none other than Capt. Malcolm Reynolds of the starship Serenity from the late lamented TV show Firefly. The weirdest half western/half science fiction TV show ever produced. As Kate leaps into his arms we cut to the present where she is locked in her cage. Sawyer is absentmindedly throwing rocks at the meal button over and over again. Sawyer is mopey. Kate doesn't like a mopey Sawyer so she tries to cheer him up. But when Sawyer is mopey he is also crabby so she ends up not making much headway.

lost1.jpgIn Jacks cell he is looking over Ben's medical file. Besides the huge tumor on is spine there is a giant black glob of ooze where his heart should be. FILTHY OTHER!! Ahem. But Jack is more interested in the tumor. As Ben looks on nervously Jack tells him straight up that his tumor is so bad that it is borderline inoperable. He then asks if the operating room they were in is fully functional and sterile. It is. Then Ben goes "OK, let's do it." This makes Jack laugh. "I didn't say I was gonna do it. I just wanted you to understand how you are going to die." Ha. Go, Jack go! "You think I trust you people?" he yells. Then Ben in his evil tone of voice just says "I am disappointed in your decision Jack." To which Jack responds "Well, at least you won't have to be disappointed for very long." Oh Jack, you had me at "I just wanted you to understand how you are going to die."

In the flashback Kate and policeman guy are basking in their post sex muskiness. During their pillow talk we find out that Kate and the officer in question are in love, getting married after a short courtship and that he really loved the way she did that thing with her pinky and his prostate. Also, Kate is going by the name "Monica" which is not the sign of a good marriage.

Back in the cell Pickett, the Other whose wife was killed and who beat Sawyer near to death, comes out to take them to work detail. He says that Sawyer "has the day off" but Kate refuses to work without him saying they are a team. Like Burns and Allen, only not funny. She is only doing this of course because Pickett is just waiting for his chance to kill Sawyer as revenge for his wifes death, even though he had nothing to do with it. That's how Others operate. Pickett reluctantly agrees and Sawyer is spared another day.


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