Recap: Lost: Kiss Me Kate

lost-11-08-06j.jpgWell this is the end of the line for Lost. Well, sort of. It's the mini season finale until the show returns in February with 16 new episodes. And what a sendoff to my TVgasm career than a cliffhanger episode of Lost? Well granted all episodes of Lost are kind of cliffhangery, but this one ramped it up a notch. We get new hints at the mystery, some twists, lots of action and Kate doing what she does best. Lying and having sex. Add canasta to that list and she and I are eerily similar in our talents.

The show opens in flashback following a brunette woman walking down a hotel hallway. When she gets to her door she turns around and we see that it's Kate wearing a hairdo that is so bad it makes you pine for her tussled "just got tortured hasn't been washed in 4 months" hair. At least that one breathes.

Kate opens up one of the boxes she has and we see it's a bridal veil. Then there is a knock at the door. The voice says that it's the police but we can tell pretty quickly that they are doing one of those cutesy couple role-playing games. Reminds me of the times Lizardqueen makes me be Ernesto, the 17 year old Mexican cabana boy to her bored rich socialite. God help me if I don't make the mai-tai just right.

When Kate goes to open the door we see that the police officer is none other than Capt. Malcolm Reynolds of the starship Serenity from the late lamented TV show Firefly. The weirdest half western/half science fiction TV show ever produced. As Kate leaps into his arms we cut to the present where she is locked in her cage. Sawyer is absentmindedly throwing rocks at the meal button over and over again. Sawyer is mopey. Kate doesn't like a mopey Sawyer so she tries to cheer him up. But when Sawyer is mopey he is also crabby so she ends up not making much headway.

lost1.jpgIn Jacks cell he is looking over Ben's medical file. Besides the huge tumor on is spine there is a giant black glob of ooze where his heart should be. FILTHY OTHER!! Ahem. But Jack is more interested in the tumor. As Ben looks on nervously Jack tells him straight up that his tumor is so bad that it is borderline inoperable. He then asks if the operating room they were in is fully functional and sterile. It is. Then Ben goes "OK, let's do it." This makes Jack laugh. "I didn't say I was gonna do it. I just wanted you to understand how you are going to die." Ha. Go, Jack go! "You think I trust you people?" he yells. Then Ben in his evil tone of voice just says "I am disappointed in your decision Jack." To which Jack responds "Well, at least you won't have to be disappointed for very long." Oh Jack, you had me at "I just wanted you to understand how you are going to die."

In the flashback Kate and policeman guy are basking in their post sex muskiness. During their pillow talk we find out that Kate and the officer in question are in love, getting married after a short courtship and that he really loved the way she did that thing with her pinky and his prostate. Also, Kate is going by the name "Monica" which is not the sign of a good marriage.

Back in the cell Pickett, the Other whose wife was killed and who beat Sawyer near to death, comes out to take them to work detail. He says that Sawyer "has the day off" but Kate refuses to work without him saying they are a team. Like Burns and Allen, only not funny. She is only doing this of course because Pickett is just waiting for his chance to kill Sawyer as revenge for his wifes death, even though he had nothing to do with it. That's how Others operate. Pickett reluctantly agrees and Sawyer is spared another day.

Recap: Lost: Kiss Me Kate Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5 

« Recap: Desperate Housewives: Love Thy Neighbor, Not Thy Neighbor's Kids | Main | Recap: Laguna Beach: Like OMG! The Season's Like Totally Over!!! »

Comments (62)

Worst news ever! Screw the recap.... I'll miss you!

tvtvtv Author Profile Page:

That's a bummer, EH! But I understand. Best of luck to you.

HoneyBunny Author Profile Page:

EdHill -
it has been an honor and a pleasure to have read your recaps and laughed at your jokes as well as your spelling. Thanks for the email address - be on the lookout for these cool chain letters that I have been saving. I hear Bill Gates gives away money and everything.

From the bottom of my cooter...Hail and Farewell Sweet Prince ~


Sadbunny

LuvzSunshine Author Profile Page:

Way to go out with an awesomely hilarious recap (and of course the use of cooter)

Much Luv!!!!

LuvzSunshine Author Profile Page:

Way to go out with an awesomely hilarious recap (and of course the use of cooter)

Much Luv!!!!

LuvzSunshine Author Profile Page:

Way to go out with an awesomely hilarious recap (and of course the use of cooter)

Much Luv!!!!

LuvzSunshine Author Profile Page:

Way to go out with an awesomely hilarious recap (and of course the use of cooter)

Much Luv!!!!

zoobabe Author Profile Page:

Way to overdo it sunshine! (#4,5,6 and 7)

My heart is breaking Ed. No one will be able to match your wit and typos when it comes to Lost. They'll all be midseasonreplacements compared to you. Great recap as always. I too want them to kill those filthy Others.

Ceri Author Profile Page:

I am so said. First they kill of Mr. Echo and now we wont hear from Edhill anymore!?! I almost have no reason left to watch lost anymore. Edhill, your recaps were well they were the best, almost better than the show it self. You will be missed.

Flipit Author Profile Page:

"...Kate doing what she does best. Lying and having sex. Add canasta to that list and she and I are eerily similar in our talents."
LOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLL f ing hilarious. please don't leave. i would have quit this show long ago had your hilarious recaps not brought me back every week. good luck ed, i miss you already.

well thank goodness we're hiring all those midseasonreplacements.

AvaMarie Author Profile Page:

Wow... Your exit speech was just about as shocking and tearful as a "Lost" cliffhanger. Bravo. I wanted to say thanks, EdHill, there was a time when I had a boring desk job and Tvgasm got me through, especially all of your recaps. Typos, spelling errors and machismo charm, you will be truly missed.

Please find someone other than Kat to recap Lost please.

AvaMarie Author Profile Page:

Wow... Your exit speech was just about as shocking and tearful as a "Lost" cliffhanger. Bravo. I wanted to say thanks, EdHill, there was a time when I had a boring desk job and Tvgasm got me through, especially all of your recaps. Typos, spelling errors and machismo charm, you will be truly missed.

Please find someone other than Kat to recap Lost please.

Captain Author Profile Page:

Damnit, I was one of those anonymous readers and you recaps have been the best. And you're leaving. JKVLDMAKFLDJSIOGHDFDHIA. Have fun post-TVgasm, maybe you'll post some hilarious surprise recap in 13 weeks. Seriously, this is a loss. A freaking loss.

dsher Author Profile Page:

This is terrible! I'm so sad at this news EH! I really loved reading your re caps. You are very talented,type-o's and all. I will miss you. Take care

boomersmommy Author Profile Page:

Good bye, Ed. I really will miss you (and your typos.) I just wish I'd gotten to know you better.

And remember...I kid because I love.

silentfire Author Profile Page:

oh man the suprise of you leaving ed, completly stole the shows thunder lol. Loved your recaps, cant count how many times I actually laughed out loud in public while reading them.

PS I loved your long rant on the "tracing phone calls" problem.

As for lost.. There are 2 things I have a problem with from this 'finale'. One if Juliet wanted Ben to die, why would she even care/listen to Jack after he already did the damage to kill him.
Two-Kate leaping over and breaking the lock with a rock..and then having sex right there on the spot with Sawyer.I thought that was LAME and unrealistic.
It was a pretty bad way to end the show, really wasn't that much of a cliffhanger. I sorta expected more since we will have to wait for a longer time

sg-dub Author Profile Page:

Is this an appropriate time and place to tell everyone that I won't be posting anymore Hi-larious recaps or Food Network insult posts either?

What? You forgot about me? Sigh.

Oh well, I'm done too (Officially). Peace.

g3 Author Profile Page:

What? Why to both of you?

g3 Author Profile Page:

What? Why to both of you?

edhill,

There is a place out there...somewhere...that will pay you handsomely for recaps of Lost and Project Runway. Vanity Fair? New York Times? Journal of Foreign Affairs?

It will happen. Just keep us updated.

brilliantmistake Author Profile Page:

Sorry to hear you're/your going EdHill. I'll always think of you when I hear the word "cooter."

suebee Author Profile Page:

Thanks for the recaps, EdHill. We will miss you!

campfiregirl Author Profile Page:

This place will not be the same without your wit and charm. I'll will always think of you when they trace a call.


Cooter, cooter, cooter...

zevonia Author Profile Page:

You bum! Tell us that you're just taking the 13 weeks off and will be back when Lost comes back! And what about Project Runway?!? Damn, now my cooter is so sad. Miss you already.

PixieGal Author Profile Page:

Yea...tracing calls takes like, half a second. None of this two minutes business.

I cannot believe you are leaving. I just...it won't be the same.

Victoria Author Profile Page:

EdHill, can't you just take 13 weeks off and come back when Lost does? Aren't you feeling the love from everyone?

Speaking of the 13 weeks, this mini-season was a disaster. They should just do it the way 24 does, and start in January.

That filthy Other Danny makes me angry. Why exactly does he GET to kill Sawyer just because his wife died? And why does everyone act like that's just acceptable? And why was Evangeline Lilly wearing that dreadful wig in her flashbacks?

tj Author Profile Page:

EdHill - Auf'd??? I can't believe you're leaving... you were my favorite writer on this site. Please tell me you'll come back at some point. Project Runway wouldn't be the same without you.

Anyway, good luck sir and thank you for all of the laughs.

Shollia Author Profile Page:

Awww... It sucks to see ya go Ed. But if you're gonna be happier doing something else.. then I wish you the best!

As for the Lost Finale. I was a bit disappointed in it. I LOATHE Kate, and her absolutely pointless flashback really pissed me off. I really wish the show would just kill her off already, but I know they never will.
Anyways.. I still love Lost.. but this season has been kinda disappointing. I just hope it picks up a bit more when it comes back.

chick110 Author Profile Page:

Aw, man, EdHill... How can I feel so superior again without your typos? Watching Lost will never be the same without being able to read your recaps afterwards. I will miss the witticisms and funnies that made me laugh so hard. Peace out and have a great life.

sg-dub, I will miss the pics of Baby-dub. What a cutie!! Please come back to visit and post updates of new pics!

Tony A. Author Profile Page:

Shit. 80% of the reason I watch "Lost" every week (on my DVR, never live) is to know just what the hell your snarky comments are all about. Now you're gone. Quitter!

OK, you must have gotten a job in the real world that demands more of your time. Maybe you're secretely marrying Evangeline and moving to Hawaii. Whatever you do, I wish you the very best. "Lost" will never be the same without your recaps.

sg-dub is gone, too? WTF? Are we gonna be left with Umnata and Tabloid Baby? Happy trails to you, podnah. Until we meet again.

Leah3t Author Profile Page:

I had all these things to say about the ep and the recap but now my heart is just too sad. How could you leave us?

awwwww....

dent Author Profile Page:

Edhill, this is so sad. Like everyone has said, your recaps (and typos;)) make every episode of Lost and PR better!!!

I had just gotten my mom hooked on your recaps! She is in the Lost archives and cannot stop talking about that "witty Edhill." YOu will be missed!

JasonR Author Profile Page:

EdHill, as soon as I read in the first paragraph that this is your farewell, I jumped down to the comments to wish you best of luck in your future endeavors and thank you for all the laughs. I hope you'll join us mere mortals as a 'Gasm reader/fan and that maybe from time to time we'll be able to enjoy your snark here in the comments and/or the forums. Take care.

EdHill Author Profile Page:

Well if you must know, me and some familiar friends are going off on our own and starting our own website.

Jinger Author Profile Page:

WTF is happening at TVGasm!?! Why are EdHill and SG-Dub leaving?!? And please tell me that BertKerns doesn't have anything to do w/all these changes!


As far as Lost goes...I was a little let down w/their alleged cliffhanger. I think we were all led to believe we were going to have a tvgasm at the ending and I was left...unsatisfied. I guess I am (unfortunately) used to being left hanging in the gasm department - hee hee hee!!

Don't pick in Umnata, I like his recaps!

Staysconfused Author Profile Page:

Well...that's it. I'm throwing myself off a bridge. Cannot continue without EH. DAYAM!

EdHill Author Profile Page:

Thanks for all the kind words people. But never forget: I am better than all of you.

Jinger, BertKerns is a parody. And a brilliant one for that matter. I jsut wish I knew who it was.

umnata Author Profile Page:

on a personal note i'd like to thank EdHill... if he hadn't "threatened to shoot twelve nails into his head" I would've never gotten into the tvgasm fold. So thank you EdHill for giving me Wisteria Lane and Damn you ... for giving me Wisteria Lane

PS - for no reason whatsoever Jinger is now my favorite TVgasm reader...

lynturn Author Profile Page:

EdHill.....how will I survive without your snarky recaps? The whole Lost experience is completed with your recap.
You will be missed. I wish you and sg-dub the best and cannot wait to check out your/you're (hee hee) new website.

BTW, loved the midseason finale! I like mad Jack amd Kate and Sawyer were verrrrry HOT. All the Others are evil. I'm tearing up now and can no longer think about the show....already miss ya, EdHill.

may1 Author Profile Page:

This place won't be the same without your witty recaps. I too, enjoyed every minute and appreciate your time and effort. Good luck, and I'll be seeing you.
BTW Umnata, I'm a fan of yours.

Jinger Author Profile Page:

Oh EdHill, yes, I get the hole parody thing but strange things are afoot at the Circle-K lately and I need to blame someone so I pick bertkerns because he bugs me! I can't help it, I got that whole Scully/Mulder conspiracy paranoia thing going...what can I say!?

Umnata, you had me back when you were Eddie....

JasonR Author Profile Page:

Did anyone else notice that EdHill let slip J-Unit and B-Side's real names in his farewell? Joe and Ben definitely doesn't have the same mystique, does it?

P.S. I'd do "taco night" with Kate anytime!

gina64 Author Profile Page:

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no! Say it ain't so!

Best of luck in your new endeavor, guys. I'll be looking for ya, if only so we can have another CT happy hour :-).

TVGasm won't be the same without you.

Ubiquitous Author Profile Page:

Sorry to hear you're leaving, EdHill.

That said, this was one lame ep of Lost. I found the part where Sawyer revealed that they were on Craphole Alcatraz, followed by some serious making out to be almost as aggregious as the phone trace bit.

OD-TV Author Profile Page:

EdHill rocks BAWLS! Talk about midseasonreplacements... they will never find another person to fill your shoes! Hope to see you soon!

hardly@work Author Profile Page:

NO! I was so excited to see the Lost recap up, but this sucks. No lost, no pr, no edhill?, no sg-dub?
Please let us know where to find you--very sad---so sad I almost feel like working....

KarenGwyn Author Profile Page:

So sad EdHill, you will be missed.

Perhaps we should all give the midseasonreplacements a shot. It's possible we will like them as much if not more than the characters we already know. I'm just sayin'

tigereye Author Profile Page:

Wow, EH and SG, well, I wish ya'll well. Are you going to let us know of your new site? that would be sweet!
hardly@work:" so sad I almost feel like working...." HAHAHA I know the feeling. 'almost' being the operative word there.

chick110 Author Profile Page:

JasonR, all I could think of when I read "taco night" was taco blocko... Eating tacos has been totally ruined by visiting this site!

Lizardqueen Author Profile Page:

Sounds like someone's got a major case of stickittothemanitosis. Let me set the record less askew. Ernesto the Mexican cabana boy is supposed to bring Mojitos. That's why EdHill always ends up being whipped and berated. When we play valet and Japanese Empress, that's when I want Mai Tai's. And Scorpion Bowls? Well, those are breakfast. At any rate...
Don't cry for EdHill, Argentina. He coming soon. To a blog near you.

EdHill Author Profile Page:

Victoria, you are right, why does Pickett just get to kill sawyer and all the Others just kind of shrug their shoulders as if they have no control over it.

OK, back to everyone missing me....

rottenpups Author Profile Page:

EdHill - I lurv you. (Sincere apologies to LizardQueen, but Ed has righted too many wrongs for me not to express my true feelings)

Leah3t Author Profile Page:

Ed when you go to a different blog do the ladies get to hit the reset button on who gets to be your beloved commenter?

626 Author Profile Page:

EdHill I have been reading your recaps for awhile but never posted about them. I will miss your recaps. Sometimes they are better than the episodes themselves!

I was disappointed by the cliffhanger. It really didn't leave me on the edge of my seat anymore than any other episode of Lost. Personally I am more interested in an upcoming episode in February. I was reading an article in a magazine a few weeks ago (Pretty sure it was Entertainment Weekly) that mentioned Juliet's character is going to shoot someone, leaving everyone around her shocked. Now that would have been a proper Lost cliffhanger!

mountain_girl Author Profile Page:

EdHill, I'm crushed! Now who's going to do all of my Lost research for me? Every recap that you wrote made me laugh out loud.

Good luck to you in the future, you will be missed!

Lucy Author Profile Page:

Sorry, EdHill. No you MAY NOT leave. I still re-read your "ding dong the bitch is dead" re-cap weekly to laugh all over again. (Ana-Lucia as FEMA director; Sawyer as Foghorn Leghorn.) This news SUCKS. Your recaps are gold.

suebee Author Profile Page:

JasonR, I picked up on the names too. I love googling people and finding out more about them. To J-Unit and B-side, we know who you are now! Still loving you, even though the mystique is gone. But you are doing that yourselves anyway now that you allow your image to be seen on Tvgasm.

EdHill Author Profile Page:

Well, if you guys really like Lost mysteries, there is still a hidden joke in the recap that no one has found yet.


It's a good one.

damn_gina Author Profile Page:

C'mon! You can't leave.
Who else can make me laugh at 'giant thinking fart clouds'?

That ain't right.

ProphetOfRage Author Profile Page:

i would think this is big enough news to go in the lost section, no?

http://www.tvgasm.com/newsgasm/news/lost/idol-sends-lost-running-for-co.php

screw that garbage karaoke show on fox.
next to springer, does television really get any more pathetic?

love,
lost.

qt Author Profile Page:

New to this site.
LOVE LOST!! :o)

Post a comment

Post a comment

54