That's right ladies and gentlemen. Among several other things that happened this week, Dr. Jack tried oversee his own appendectomy.
Um...Jack?
In the history of bad ideas, watching your own abdominal surgery in a mirror under primitive conditions falls somewhere between "Cop Rock", letting Joel Schumacher direct a Batman movie and invading Russia in the winter time.
Tilt the mirror, you little biatch!
This week opens with Juliet calling Jack to wake him up. He awakes to find the camp in turmoil as Bernard and Rose are on the offensive with Daniel and Charlotte, trying to get them to explain why they've been lying about the eminent rescue and why suddenly there is no signal on the sat phone.
Charlotte asks a reasonable question. "How are we supposed to know why they're not answering?"
Rose has abandoned reasonable answers. "Oh, who's talking to you?"
"And in case you haven't noticed, we're not on the bloody boat, are we?"
"Just watch your tone, Red." I don't care if it turns out that Charlotte is also a fucking ninja, Rose would beat her silly on principle alone.
Jack finally gets up the strength to interrupt the conversation and calm everyone down.
"I know they're lying. I know it. Sooner or later, their people are gonna come back for them, and when they do, we'll be waiting for them."
"Unless they run off again."
As he reminds the group that he made a promise to them, that he would get them all off the island, whatever malady is weakening him finally takes over and he falls to the ground and loses consciousness.
You gonna beat her ass or am I?
In a nice bed in a nice room, Jack slowly wakes up to the sound of a phone ringing. The woman on the phone, Jane, has called to remind him of a change on his calendar and that he has an appointment at 11 O'Clock that morning. He gets out of bed, wraps a towel around his waist (Um...why is there a towel in the bed? I mean, perhaps it's there for a {ahem} good reason, but would he then want to wear it down to breakfast?) and heads downstairs, picking up a pair of frilly pink panties on the way.
I'll be honest. I briefly (pun intended) entertained the idea that after all of the island trauma, Jack returns to the mainland and becomes a cross-dresser.
The smoke monster wouldn't stand a chance.
He deposits the slinky bit of crotch wear into a hamper on his way out of the bedroom and heads downstairs. In the kitchen he trips over a replica Millennium Falcon. I know that most people assume that the presence of such an item indicates a child lives in the house. Not so. Many adults, myself included, own similar replicas. What indicates that there is a child in the house is that it's on the floor, not displayed proudly under glass with its own humidity and temperature controls.
He clears away last night's wine glasses and starts the coffee. A quick scan of the paper tells him that the Yankees have just completed a sweep of the Red Sox in a series. The opening line of the article reads "The sweep was more emphatic last August" indicating that this article is likely from some time in 2007, since the Yankees took 5 in a row from the Sox in an infamous five game series in August the previous year. I can't make out too much more of the article, but it seems to indicate a 5-0 victory for the Yankees, which means it's the August 31, 2007 game. So it seems like we're seeing Jack on September 1, 2007. I don't know if that's significant, but hey, I'm a LOST fan. We live for this stuff.
He tosses the news unhappily on the counter with a disgusted "A-Rod" comment and heads back upstairs for a shower.
He isn't the only one with that idea, since a female form is already in the shower.
So much for my Jackie Shepherd idea...
The gal in the shower tells him that she bought him a razor and that it's by the sink.
When he hears the water go off, Jack rushes over to the shower stall and holds out a towel for his lady. The door opens to reveal...Kate!
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Comments (20)
Kudos to Flipit for the funniest picture and caption sequence yet!
1 of 20 | Posted by greybishop | Posted on May 5, 2008 7:02 AM
Thanks for the recap. I rely on your transcription becasue most major dialogue during Lost sounds so muddy. I must rewind dozens of times during an episode.
Okay - I totally get they needed the Alice in Wonderland Story for the plot, but who reads it to a toddler? Could Miles be so fascinated with Claire because she is already dead/ghost?
Oh Greybishop, you are always suggesting great movie/literary tie-ins to Lost I would probably never read or watch - an '80's Brat Pack flick won't kill you.
2 of 20 | Posted by bbjunkie | Posted on May 5, 2008 7:28 AM
bbjunkie -
I totally agree. Alice in Wonderland (the book, not the whitewashed Disney film) is WAY too much for a toddler.
It has a lot of toddler-unfriendly images and ideas...
And hey, I'm going to see Robert Downey Jr. in Iron Man next week. Does that count?
3 of 20 | Posted by Greybishop | Posted on May 5, 2008 8:36 AM
Just for the record, the 5 game sweep of the Red Sox by the Yankees at Fenway was in late August of 2006. So we're not as far along as 2007 if that is the series they're eluding to.
4 of 20 | Posted by baymenxpac | Posted on May 5, 2008 9:14 AM
baymenxpac -
The article remarks that "the sweep was more emphatic last August" referring to the 2006 sweep LAST August.
The 5-0 win over the Sox was the last game of the Yankees sweep in August of '07.
5 of 20 | Posted by Greybishop | Posted on May 5, 2008 9:26 AM
My bad, I just re-read this and realized my pre-lunch hunger got the best of me and you did say the series was in 06 so that we are in 07. How could i ever doubt you?
6 of 20 | Posted by baymenxpac | Posted on May 5, 2008 10:30 AM
baymenxpac -
Your comment made me doubt myself!
As far as the actual date goes, there's no real way to be certain, but the clues say 2007.
Of course, the clues on the obituary paper in the season 3 finale said "April 2007"...
7 of 20 | Posted by Greybishop | Posted on May 5, 2008 10:53 AM
Another great recap! Loved your Star Wars "temp controlled environment" reference.. I have an uncle who's crazy for Star Wars so I know it's no exagerration.
As for the episode, I don't have many theories of my own, but did see a good one by Doc Jensen at Entertainment Weekly. Apparently last week there was a scene in which Claire hallucinates something (Christian?) that was cut for time. Hence the line "I'm feeling better, I'm not seeing things anymore" in this ep. Anyway his theory is that Claire is already dead, and Sawyer is seeing her because of the same island magic that has allowed Jack to see Christian or Eko to see his brother. Miles can see her because, well, he sees ghosts. Hence why he was looking at her so strangely throughout the episode.
8 of 20 | Posted by msu11y28 | Posted on May 5, 2008 10:58 AM
Greybishop -
Why the John Hughes hate? Who didn't love the Donger?
bbjunkie -
I've read the Claire is already dead theory on other websites and I totally buy it. How could she have survived her entire house being blown up with only a bump on the head? Any why else would Miles be so interested in her?
9 of 20 | Posted by Allycatt | Posted on May 5, 2008 10:59 AM
Allycat -
Just never liked the whole "Pretty in Pink" genre. No hate, just indifference.
As for Claire, I stay away from other sites until I finish my 'cap, so as not to poach others ideas. Personally I don't buy it...a ghost with a headache and a band-aid?
Of course, this IS Lost...
10 of 20 | Posted by Greybishop | Posted on May 5, 2008 11:41 AM
If Claire is dead, who is carrying Aaron?
Grey - You must watch 16 Candles, if only for the Donger jokes.
11 of 20 | Posted by Clair | Posted on May 5, 2008 1:03 PM
i live for sawyer's nicknames and phrases...
a whole listing available on lostpedia...
along w/sawyer's reading list...
enjoy
bottom of sawyer's main character page.
nice recap :)
12 of 20 | Posted by kikz | Posted on May 5, 2008 1:43 PM
Jack's scar could have disappeared due to the island's healing "magic". Just a possibility.
Not sure about Claire being dead though, but I think Miles and Sawyer are the only ones that have interacted with her since she woke up....not 100% on that though.
13 of 20 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on May 5, 2008 1:47 PM
pixi-stix -
After her house blew up Sawyer brought Clair into the house with Locke and Hurley. I can't remember, but Ben may have been there too. They all were able to see Clair, which doesn't really jibe with the Clair is dead theory. But I keep thinking there has to be some reason why Miles was so interested in her.
14 of 20 | Posted by Allycatt | Posted on May 5, 2008 3:35 PM
Thanks for the great recap, gb.
I looooove the idea of Kate being a secret recruiter for the Village People. It's funny, since as I was watching the episode, when Jack said he wanted to stay awake for the surgery, my mind just froze the image there while it played a new soundtrack: "Macho, macho man..."
Since this is Lost, and everyone must have a wacky theory, could Charlie have meant "You're not supposed to raise CHRISTIAN FROM THE DEAD" BaD0MMMMM! (this is my crappy onomatopoeia for dramatic music.)
And I want to add for the other side: I have seen Pretty in Pink and The Breakfast Club. Wild horses now couldn't drag me to see Sixteen Candles.
Oh, and no, I wasn't hoping for a Miles-Sawyer fight; I was hoping for a zing-off!
15 of 20 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on May 5, 2008 8:05 PM
This totally has nothing really to do with anything relevant, but when a doctor writes prescriptions for any controlled substance (like clonazepam), they have to write it on a special form, not the form that Dr. Erika wrote it on
16 of 20 | Posted by Frisky Biscuit | Posted on May 5, 2008 8:53 PM
AWWWWWWWWWW, I LOVE 16 Candles, especially the end with the Thompson Twins singing, "If you were here, I could deceive you....and if you were here, you would believe..." Come to think of it, that's not very nice at all. But I still love that song!
Oh my God, and when Grandpa is describing to the cops what The Donger was last seen in? (Beat) "No he's not retarded!" Classic.
I just thought Miles was being pervy and hoping Claire would breast feed or something.....
17 of 20 | Posted by james woods rules | Posted on May 6, 2008 8:38 AM
AllyCatt-
They could have seen her body when Sawyer carried her to the bedroom, but she might have been dead.
I don't completely believe in the idea of her being a ghost though, so just throwing out ideas.
18 of 20 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on May 6, 2008 10:25 AM
FYI-When a physician writes a prescription of a controlled substance they can write it on a prescription pad however they do need to add their DEA number. So the doctor could have wrote this prescription for Jack in this manner.
19 of 20 | Posted by wincha | Posted on May 6, 2008 11:27 PM
Alleycat:
"They all were able to see Clair, which doesn't really jibe with the Clair is dead theory. But I keep thinking there has to be some reason why Miles was so interested in her."
He's staring at a "cute" blonde because maybe he's a heterosexual man. Mystery solved. I'm with GreyB on the "take everything at face value from now on" method of Lost viewing.
GreyB:
Sixteen Candles may be a bit too "chick flick-ish" for you, but I dare you not to like The Breakfast Club. Pretty in Pink? Skip it. You will never get those 2 hrs. back.
20 of 20 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 10, 2008 10:43 PM