Do I see Boobs?
This week on MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL, the models do a Mod sixties shoot with partners that they like a lot or don't like at all. Kerryn's forhead really shines in this episode, folks, literally and figuratively. The Go-sees prove that not everyone has what it takes, and the catwalk challenge is all about a model humiliation smackdown! I know, pretty sweet. And, a double elimination as your low-fat, high-ego icing on the cake!
Well, have you been in "Make Me a Supermodel" withdrawal or what? Yeah, fuck Bravo awards shows- we need some sweet model ridicule! Anyhow, I got a break. What did I do? Get lunch with superman and cure cancer. Yeah, it was a slow week. And, I missed you guys. BUT... now we're BACK and BETTER THAN EVER.
Speaking of which, Catharine Malandrino is back and Perou is GONE, filling in is Jewwy McJewerstein. See, I can say that because I'm jewish. But seriously, Rebecca Weinberg? She sounds like she lived down the block from me. Yeah, I met her in hebrew school. But, I digress-
I love what a big production the editors make about models waking up. Yeah, newsflash, everyone hates to get out of bed and face a new day. Apparently, it's WAYYY more interesting when models do it.
Like Animal Planet but with more protein shakes
Amanda is shaken up because her beau Gabe is gone. Really? She didn't see that coming? All he could do was pout and wear underwear, I don't know why you invested so much in him. Probably because you look like a cross between a goose and a raptor, with bangs. Still, no excuse!
Amanda thinks it's going to be hard because she has nobody to confide in. What about Jordan? She's already mildly obsessed with you, you should kill her with whining and kindness. Oh, and of course Jordan puts in her two cents about Gabe and Amanda.
Amanda= needs to go away.
Now who is high school? Ugh, Jordan is such the bad guy in this season, it's ridiculous. Now that CJ is gone, there is nobody else to hate, really- Amanda's too stupid and funny looking.
Then, the models gather around that weird computer email window that isn't quite email and isn't quite a word document. Branden reads, which is good because it proves that one more person in the house is literate, aside from Jonathan. So, what do Madonna, Andy Warhol and Yves St. Laurent have in common? Besides that they are human? Webbed feet? A propensity for high paychecks? They...aren't good at math??? WHHHHAAAAATTTT?
oh, they all got shot by some photographer. Whatevs.
And, dear little Salome doesn't know who Andy Warhol is. Aw, they didn't have art in Mennoniteville. Cute! And Salome, even COLIN knows those names. Even COLIN!
Even me! And I'm a virgin!
I mean, could Salome be any cuter? She tried to take a bath in the sink last night, and once she brought a goat home to the model apartment to play hide and seek. All she has to do is loose a little ass-fat and she'll be untouchably precious.
Then, the models go to a bar. Not to drink- but to posey for the click-y box. Yeah, that's modeling in Salome-speak. Branden, Mr. Perceptive, rules out all the things that the bar is not: it is NOT a football field, or a vollyball field, or an ice hockey field...nice, Branden. You're the model version of Sherlock Holmes, aren't you?
Nicole meets them in an ugly sweater, while Tyson forgets a shirt altogether.
Nicole and Tyson tell the models that they're going to embody the sixties, but not the stinky pot-smoking peaceful lame-ass sixties, the sixties that had all the drugs and ugly color configurations: yes, the MOD sixties!
Roxane Lowit, the answer to the email riddle, comes out. Man, this lady LOOKS like she partied a lot in the sixties.
Oh man, let me tell you the story when Iggy Pop and i shot up toilet water and tried to eat a live Iguana....
Throwback Roxanne tells the models they will have to convincingly recreate a sixties nightlife scene. Yeah, sounds easy, but it'll be a stretch considering nightlife, for these models, means having a protein shake while watching Kerryn try to grope Colin before bed.
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Comments (4)
Great recap!
"Nicole meets them in an ugly sweater, while Tyson forgets a shirt altogether."
I wish he would, actually. That may be what's wrong in this show. It would be a heck of a lot more interesting if Tyson was naked in every scene. :) Pretty people are kindof boring, aren't they.
This was a very sad elimination. Poor Kerryn set herself up to be the devirginizer of Colin -- and flirts hard the entire time. Then he says "There was no chemistry" as the problem for their photo shoot at panel. The look on her face was so shocked, I felt rather sorry for her.
The elimination was a shock, especially as Kerryn is better than Amanda, who is really the wrong kind of blank canvas. Ugh. At least Angrier Face was gone. What was her beef with Salome, anyway? Some people are actually clueless, Angrier. In fact, you think you are pretty when in truth you look you are going to kill someone in nearly every shot, even in the frozen frames. Go home, get therapy. Stay away from Amish people, too hon. They are just as tricksy and fake as Mennonites. *rolls eyes*
1 of 4 | Posted by jennaboa | Posted on April 24, 2009 10:44 AM
Hey,
Ugh, this show is as dull as dishwater but I keep watching. Having the recaps help: they make things way more interesting.
I must admit I was a little surprised that Kerryn was kicked off over Amanda. Amanda is one needy wench: she seems to latch on to anyone who’ll give her a little attention. First it was pouty Gabe now it’s I’m-All-Man Branden. But Angrier Face had to go. Her face was not working. Close that gap and work on looking softer. Her body was flawless and I see her doing great runway work, but no close ups please.
Oh Colin Colin: he is beautiful. Next to Jonathan he does have the best look in the house. But he needs swagger badly. If he could get some swagger, he could be the next Marcus Schenkenberg. He also needs to add about 20-30 pounds of pure muscle. His skin is lovely, his coloring is good. Get some swagger and some muscle and he can do it. Fake it until you make it, brother.
About Kerryn with Colin, ladies never be overly aggressive with a man. I wasn’t surprised when Colin said they had no chemistry. It was obvious he loved the attention but he wasn’t into her. If a guy wants you, he’ll let you know. After all didn’t Colin step up to that model in Onatrio or wherever they were?
Jordan should just….shut…up… If she’s so confident she shouldn’t have to trash anybody. Has anyone ever heard her say anything positive in the house, really? Also, she looks great as long as she doesn’t smile. When she smiles, her upper lip just disappears and her teeth look tiny and ratlike making it seem she’s sneering instead. I’m surprised when a picture actually shows she has full lips.
Sandhurst is fading for me. I don’t know why. He’s got the grace, the body, the exotic features. But something is missing. I don’t know what.
Salome: we could have a drinking game for each time she says, “Mennonite”. She is out in the world, she should be on her toes, improvising if necessary and soaking everything up. We don’t need to hear about her ignorance due to her background. So what? Fake it until you make it, girl. Also I was surprised she won the photo shoot, she looked like a drugged up gogo dancer but I guess that was Sixties. I wasn’t surprised she didn’t get the job on her go see. Her walk was awkward and her banter was juvenile. She needs to work on her walk until it becomes second nature and practice her dialogue.
Jonathan: he like dropped, what, 10 or 20 pounds? But it’s working for him, he’s cut like a Greek statue. Also he appears to be the only sane focused one thus far. You can tell his mind is on getting a new career to help his family. He doesn’t even glance at the girls prancing around. I loved the look on his face when Amanda was being dressed in front of him. He looked like a guy who walked on his sister LOL. I think he’s going to win it all. He’s got that extra something which is just as important as the face, the body, and swagger. The only one who could take it away is Jordan with maybe Salome as a dark horse.
Branden: hmmmm he needs to take it down a notch. He’s overconfident and acting like a buffoon. But on face alone, Jonathan and Colin definitely outshine him.
Okey dokey, I’ve said my piece. Take care all,
VS
2 of 4 | Posted by Viane Slice | Posted on April 26, 2009 5:48 AM
I really think the competition will come down to Mountaha & Sandhurst.
Jonathan's too old-looking sometimes. He's also an established model already.
Jordan's hips will eventually bite her skinny little ass - or her attitude.
Love me some Colin, but he really needs PROPER training, not this crap training.
I do love Salome a well, but I thought (God forgive me for saying it) that Jordan had the best picture.
3 of 4 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on April 26, 2009 5:35 PM
hutchlover, God called and all is forgiven
; )
I agree on the drinking game too! She does go on and on, but I think she's got the most to work with, and with a good attitude, could take the whole thing. I'd be happy with the caboose too, but she should tone up a bit, no shaking about.
I want more Cory on the show, but that's just me.
I too was shocked at Kerryn going over Amanda--guess she was too bitchy, and the shoot was awful, Colin looks terrible smiling, and not as good with out glasses for me.
Lastly, Mona, are you with me on the Brandon is gay thing, coz you know he is--I kinda wish Kerryn had been hitting on him so we could see him cower in fright! It's cute if he's crushing on Sandy tho . . . who also has a terrible smile in photos, worse than Angrier--that was an out of place outburst . . . huh!?
4 of 4 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on April 27, 2009 3:29 PM