This week: Salome works on a gut to match her ass
Make Me A Supermodel is all about bare-assedness this week... too bad Gabe isn't here. They do a nude photo shoot to showcase accessories and rock-hard abs, and then the models get back to their usual activity: bitching about each other. Jonathan has money issues somewhere in between, and A Bangs give valuable lessons on child-rearing. Ugh. The catwalk is all about wearing tight clothes and plastic bubble things...I love how much these contestants get TORTURED! BWA HA HA!
Ahh, the naked episode. So many reality traditions revolve around nudity, and Bravo's Make Me A Supermodel is no exception.
Anyhoo, this episode beings with Starburst and Jonathan talking about how they miss Cullen. Uh, I mean, Colin. The rest of the models Sorry, couldn't hear the remorse under all that hunky British accent. A Bangs is mad because she's in the bottom, like, and it, like, so totally sucks. Like, so much so, like, my eyes are, like bulging out like I'm a big 'ol kewpie doll.
Or a Frantic PTA mom?
So, she's gonna step up her game? I guess so. At the mysterious computer message, the models hear that their next photo shoot is "all about the little things." Hmmm....Salome immediately thinks of Brownie bites, while I think that they're going to do a photo shoot with A Bangs' brain cells. That'd be fun!
Next is a gratuitous montage of the models utilizing public transportation and trendy eyewear. Come on, really? Are we that stupid that the editors need to tell us that the models don't use some sort of futuristic (possibly holographic) transport system a la star trek? Geez.
When they get to the studio, Tyson and Nicole are there. DUH! Tyson starts by saying how accessories are a huge part of modeling.
And sometimes, they are just huge.
The models have thirty secs to select an accessory. Brandon, once you select it, you cannot eat it. Just, making sure you understand the terms and conditions of this challenge.
Mmm...that tie reminds me of my favorite pork product....
Starburst picks the O.J. Gloves. Classy.
There was no white bronco on the table, so I went for the next best thing.
Jordan chooses a ridiculously large white handbag.
The best part is, it sleeps a family of five!
Jonathan has a gay purple scarf and Brandon has his bacon. Er, tie. Salome picks some hooker-y earrings and Mouhahaha gets those damned tranny heels. A Bangs has a black scarf-thing (well put, Amanda). Then, Tyson introduces the mods to their photographer, Bill Diadato. I dunno, just some guy, nothing funny about him, except for his weird shirt. I dunno. He seems normal, I guess.
But what isn't normal is how Tyson presents what they will be wearing....pulling down a black clothes rack sheet to reveal....
Another black sheet with a rack!
Undoubtedly, Amanda thinks that they'll be wearing cast iron and black burlap. Brandon thinks they'll be wearing the clotheshangers. Oh, models, come on! You're going to get NEKKID! I absolutely love how Branden immediately regrets his choice of tie. A Bangs is like, really, like superglad she picked a scarf.
You don't understand, like, we're posing in like, the NUDE!
A Bangs is super insecure with her body, surprise surprise. Man, that girl is perfect model material. Everyone starts to disrobe and psyche themselves up for their nude shoot...some in weirder ways than others.
For example, Mouhahaha likes to rub one out.
Brandon likes to pretend he's a stroke victim
Oh, but wanna hear something rich, and possibly the stupidest, most ignorant think I've ever heard? Man, I don't even want to repeat it to you guys for fear the repetition will make you all dumber by association. Still, it's so fucking unbelievable I sort of have to.
Amanda says...
"I'm really really open with my son, like, I don't want him to become, like, I mean, like, no offense, like, GAY when he's older, so I'm like always like, NAKED in front of him now, so I'm absolutely not nervous."
Okay, holy shit.
There are SO MANY things wrong with A Bangs and her fucking statement, I don't even know where to begin. I'm sorry if you've lost brain cells by reading it. Really, my apologies.
Ugh, anyhow, the photographer asks the models, ahem, ahem, make sure they're trimmed, uh, ahem ahem, down THERE. Of course, Brandon is not, so he promptly goes into the back room and nicks his little teenage testes. Oh Brandon!
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Comments (3)
Alltho I'm not one of those mo's whose a scared of women, if a mother were to be all naked all the time, and their child was destined to be a mo, I'm so sure women would be scary . . . I hope child protective services investigates her--that is some serious wrong. I also don't get how people think they can do anything to prevent gays from happening. Perhaps there is an environmental aspect to the whole thing, but I can safely say everyone knew I was gay from six years old or even younger . . .yo, was doll playing their first clue . . . oh well, her body looked hot when this show began, but not in this epi.
I'm liking the menonite more and more, I loved her shoot down of Jordan, "Including you!" It was bitchy to laugh on the runway, but I thought her naked ness was way hot--she does not look like some jumbly fat ass, for heaven's sake, they didn't have to crop it out either, and that pick would still have been great.
I see next week she's crying about her 38", do they really expect her to drop 2" in a couple weeks?! don't they want her to do it healthily . . . granted, she could have stepped up sooner, but more than a few pounds a week is not realistic, and if she's trying, why not keep her around.
"This will never be on the cover of Menonite News" --too funny. I wonder if her parents ever will see it. I do feel sad to think some people are so filled with religion they would disown their own child and damn them to hell . . . she's strong to live with that and still excel, IMHO . . . . can't Jonboy borrow money he can repay, for heaven's sake, he oughta make something off his undie campaign, wish his wife was a bit more supportive, and just borrowed it and left him to concentrate.
Lord, I'll eat sock now and shut it!
Thanks Mona!!!
1 of 3 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 11, 2009 5:33 PM
Stop picking on Sandhurst I like him - I really only like him and Johnathan. I'm really not feeling any of the girls. I think Johnathan and Sandhurst will be the final 2.
2 of 3 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on May 12, 2009 12:19 PM
Geez, like they couldn't have gotten rid of A=Bangs last week, so we could've had some nudie Colin?!
It's not like the girl has anything going for her - in modeling or parenting.
3 of 3 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 12, 2009 4:19 PM