Tonight is our second to last episode! We've come so far this season, from thinking one of the contestants was a tranny, to posing nude a zillion times, to scandals involving Britney Spears. But it's all about to come to a close on Make Me a Supermodel!
Here's to it being almost over!
Ahh, spring. A time when a young woman's fancy turns to recapping on her porch swing with a six-pack of Miller Lite. It's the first seriously nice day this year in the Mile High City, and Sparkles intends to take advantage of every bit of it, such as the sun, the blooming flowers, and the fucking Chihuahua next door that barks its golf-ball-sized head off every time the fucking wind blows. Also, the fattest pigeon I have ever seen in my life is walking by. His little pigeon buddy walking next to him is about half his size. It's like that movie Twins, with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito. But a fowl version of it (ha!).
I also have to apologize to one eagle-eyed reader who pointed out that I missed remarking on Perry scratching his balls for a full fifteen seconds in last week's episode. That is the stuff that dreams/recaps/dreamy recaps are made of. Thank you, kind lady for correcting my oversight. Shan't happen again.
My DVR decided to eat the first few minutes of the show, but to the surprise of no one, Shannon was eliminated. An arrogant string bean with an unfortunate visage didn't stand much of a chance next to Ronnie's All-American Beefcake.
My recording picked up with Tyson talking to himself as he walks up the stairs, "Check my swagger up the stairs, son! Boo-yah!" Where is this new cockiness coming from, Tyson? He yells up the stairs, "Come on you sexy beasts!" What is going on? Our formerly humorless host has been injected with a little personality! Then he introduces Naomi Campbell and it all makes sense. Duh - they were doing lines of coke in the limo! Tyson and Naomi say that they're besties and fawn all over each other for a few minutes. They talk about posing together, with and without clothes. Yep, that's how I make all of my best friends.
Then Naomi looks through the models' portfolios. She likes Holly's hair, but hates snakes. She thinks the photo of Perry and Casey is saucy, and Perry's heart is all aflutter. He IS newly single, you know. I bet Naomi's the type of girl who only falls for assholes because they're the only ones who don't fall all over themselves to impress her, so this could be a match made in heaven.
Don't be jealous, Tyson. You've always got Ralph Lauren to fall back on.
After Naomi and Tyson trade best friends lockets and pinky swear on it, the models go to their photoshoot set. This will be their last shoot, so they are instructed to really work it. They meet photographer Matthew Rolston, who informs them that they'll be photographed as natural elements today: earth, air, fire, and water. Is that natural elements, or Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers? And - surprise! - in a last minute ratings bid, the models are to be naked - yet again. Holly's reaction is that she doesn't want the boys to see her, and she especially doesn't want to see them; they're like her brothers. Given her predilection for the social graces of Appalachia, wouldn't that be just about par for the course?
We see clip after clip of Ben getting oiled up. Then one of the art directors tells him that they'll be cutting off his BVDs. Oh, come on, it's not like he was in a car accident. I guess that old axe about "putting his pants one leg at a time" doesn't apply to models. Or maybe they do put them on one leg at a time, but have people cut them off at the end of the day. The world may never know. But at least we get to see Perry get his junk shaved!
Rolston wants to see something he wasn't expecting. They give Ben some flowing mesh/netting/something sheer and a wind machine so his tresses can flow. Oh ,wait. He is supposed to be bringing power and sensuality, so they oil him up some more. Then they give him another piece of gauze to pose with, and he nails the shot. Rolston is impressed, Ben can take direction well. Plus his body looks seriously amazing.
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Comments (8)
Slide one of them beers over here, Sparkles. This episode truly needed liquorial enhancement to sit through. Big mistake letting Shannon go- alhough perhaps she was happier than she looked. You know on American Idol I heard that they don't really want to win, just come in near the top. That way they can do their own thing without being pimped out so much by the producers. Maybe that's the case here although I have a feeling Ronnie would love to be pimped out.
Matthew Rolston is kind of a perv and I can imagine the scores of young boys who have put their junk between their legs just to get near his "flashbulb." Did you notice that all of the boys were full frontal nude and Holly was laying on the ground? I think Rolston couldn't bear the thought of seeing....a girl! Nekkid!
I'm kind of glad the show is over. Even though I like Ronnie at first, his ego is trippin. I hope he watches the show later and throws up at some of the narcissistc remarks he has made over the last few weeks. Even Perry is more tolerable at this point.
My vote for the winner (after we have to sit through a lame "reunion" of the models this week)? Believe it or not I think it will be Ben.
1 of 8 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on March 26, 2008 8:17 AM
Slide one of them beers over here, Sparkles. This episode truly needed liquorial enhancement to sit through. Big mistake letting Shannon go- alhough perhaps she was happier than she looked. You know on American Idol I heard that they don't really want to win, just come in near the top. That way they can do their own thing without being pimped out so much by the producers. Maybe that's the case here although I have a feeling Ronnie would love to be pimped out.
Matthew Rolston is kind of a perv and I can imagine the scores of young boys who have put their junk between their legs just to get near his "flashbulb." Did you notice that all of the boys were full frontal nude and Holly was laying on the ground? I think Rolston couldn't bear the thought of seeing....a girl! Nekkid!
I'm kind of glad the show is over. Even though I like Ronnie at first, his ego is trippin. I hope he watches the show later and throws up at some of the narcissistic remarks he has made over the last few weeks. Even Perry is more tolerable at this point.
My vote for the winner (after we have to sit through a lame "reunion" of the models this week)? Believe it or not I think it will be Ben.
2 of 8 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on March 26, 2008 8:19 AM
i still think holly is 37.
...and has a squirrel stuffed up her nose.
3 of 8 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on March 26, 2008 5:18 PM
I was not able to see this episode until the voting period was over, but I have to agree with bingo blog boy and vote for Ben as the winner, at least in spirit. His work, as a whole, has been inconsistent, but I think he has stepped up his game, especially with this last episode. I love Ronnie and can honestly say that he is the main reason that I stayed with this show, but I think that Ben is simply the better model. Overall, though, I can say that I would be happy if Ronnie won, and he probably will.
I loved how the producers essentially dropped Naomi (sp?) Campbell into the show, but gave her nothing to do except say that she can't swim in a tank. Way to use professional models with experience, Bravo!
Sparkles, I think you have done a fantastic job with this show! Reading your recpas has made this boring television experience five times better! If there actually is a second season for this show (fat chance), I hope you will roast these beautiful people again!
4 of 8 | Posted by Philemon307 | Posted on March 27, 2008 9:28 AM
One more observation: I'm a little disappointed that the models were voted on before the reunion. I think it's definitely possible that the voting public could find out something about the remaining models through the reunion that might change their minds. It's kind of a disservice to those who have actually watched and, for whatever reason, stayed with the show.
5 of 8 | Posted by Philemon307 | Posted on March 27, 2008 10:22 AM
Thanks Sparkles! Glad you could enjoy the breeze and six pack while entertaining us!
Tivo cut off from Christian on, I'm not sure why, so thanks for filling in the gaps.
Ben does look the most model-ey in body and face, the stiffness aside, he seemed to do okay at fashion week, so maybe in the real world he can bring it.
Sadly, Ronnie is a tad cocky lately . . . sigh . . .
Lurch always has that stiff crumbled face, and his shoulders ARE narrow! All I could think on his shoot was "Silence of the Lambs" "f*me, f*me" "It rubs the lotion on it's skin, or it gets the hose again!"
And our favorite squirrel girl, well, I'd been thinking she'd win, but if they're letting America pick, it'll be Ronnie or Ben.
Naomi?! WTF!? Did she help!? Is it me!?
Thanks again Sparkles!!!! XOXOXO
6 of 8 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 28, 2008 11:19 AM
This show has done nothing for me except make me very upset.
The Jacki elimination - MAD!
The Casey Elimination - MAD!
The judges thinking that personality is more important than modeling - MAD!
The Shannon elimination - MAD!
So many other things I can't think of right now, but this show just isn't right.
It is DEFINITLEY NOT FAIR or else Ben and Ronnie would've been gone eons ago. If it was fair, honestly The final four would be Shannon, Jacki, Holly, and the art girl...forgot her name...but hey were definitley the better models.
Ronnie is gonna win and that is also making mad because it's so obvious that Holly should take it.
Ronnie will just be like Taylor Hicks from Americian Idol (nobody will care about him in a few months). Katherine McPhee should've won that shit. Who bought Taylor's album? Not me.
7 of 8 | Posted by bfrank | Posted on March 28, 2008 12:34 PM
well, bfrank, if it makes you that mad, they must be doing something right!!! I do think they'll do it again.
Is America really going to pick the best model, I doubt it, they're going to pick the one they like the best in personality. It's all about the boys too--could it be the gay audience . . .
ps. Bfrank, I thought Jacki was too off-putting, and shannon and stephanie also had some unpleasant moments--can't say they were worse than Perry, who is so jerky in his hatred toward women--every time they peanut galleried the girls I wanted to slap him!
8 of 8 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 28, 2008 2:38 PM