Happy Undergarments
Hey YO! Welcome to the world renowned, celebrity-studded recap of Bravo Tv's MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL! WOHOOO! By world-renowned, I guess I mean in my bedroom and surrounding living spaces. By Celebrity-studded, I mean my cats are chillin with me whilst I write this. So join me, friends lovers and brethren, as I take you into the world of super-modelry. And, it's going to be a ridiculous season!
Already, a plexi-glass photo shoot, candy galore and makeovers as the models HEAT UP!
Episode 1 of Make Me A Supermodel Season 2 begins with 16 men, women and miscellaneous (and I do mean miscellaneous) competing for the chance to maybe make it as a model, or at least get some TV time.
Oh, and new host, Nicole Trunfio, who is apparently a model that has a couple ounces more personality than Tyson Beckford, who is like a big hunk of chocolate cardboard. Seriously, though, I dig Nicole- she's like a Bohemian European homeless person who is gorgeous, and seems like she could give two shits about the contestants. Love it!
Tyson is the same old soul-less, smiling shell of a beautiful man. Yawn!
Let's make this season's theme be "Buildings." And, giants who loiter.
As for the judges, there is international model scout and Ace Hardware store owner, Marlon, supermodel Jenny Shimizu (meh, spelling these asiatic names has never been my strong point), eccentric/flamboyant fashion photographer Peru (yeah, another "Cher" name. Yawn, so last season!) and probably the most famous and bored by the reality TV fervor, designer Katherine Malandrino. We really ARE in a recession, aren't we?
As for the contestants....
We first meet Mountaha, who I will call Muahaha, because it's funnier. She's from Brazil, but looks like the love child of sWarren Beatty and an eight year old boy and Keri Strug.
I left my skittles in Brazil. Also, where in the World IS Carmen San Diego????
She's 23, going on boy.
Colin is formally introduced next- man, he is one HUNK of 21 year old virgin, if I do say so myself. I'd drunkenly grope him any day. He's like Clark Kent, and I'm his Lois Lane. Well, if Lois Lane was chunkier, and jewwy. And, was currently being treated fr multiple venereal diseases. Did I mention I'm awesome?
Med Student? No modeling Experience? YUMMERS!
Then, there's Chris, who looks like he has fetal alcohol syndrome. Uh, I mean, he looks, uh, Androgynous? I mean, sort of in the same way "Predator" looks androgynous. Erg.
I also come with night vision.
Branden is sorta cute, in that non-descript white male way.
Meh.
Jordan, the uppity bitch with some modeling experience, didn't seem like a big threat in the beginning but by episode 2, she was bringing out her PMS and her killer walk. Day-umn!
I hate everyone.
Jonathan is the only one who actually looks like a model, and who will work after the show is over. You know? He seems all right, though.
Aside from being OLD.
Then there is Gabriel, the surly, pouty-lipped second runner up in giving me a hard-on. He seems sort of dickish, though. There is Kerryn, who beyond the annoyingly different way of spelling her name, just seems boring and horse-faced.
Like a bowl of oatmeal.
Then there is the other Karen, who spells her name like a normal human being. The only thing is that she's got an obnoxious angry face. So I'm going to call her Angry-Face. Or, pissed of black chick with a weird belly button.
I'll reach over this building and pull your hair extensions, bitch!
Amanda's the Cabo Party-lookin' girl, who seems nice enough but sort of gets into the realm of bug-eye. Am I right? Laury also has an angry face, but looks like a black suburban mom. Thank GOD there's a makeover episode. So I'm going to call her angrier-face.
When I'm not taking my kids to soccer practice, I'm fighting crime.
Ken is the token thug-man with a big forehead. I'd still do him, though. Salome (doubt her birth-name) is the Mennonite girl who is going to hell because she's a model. She has an AWESOME look, but gets a little cocky. CJ just looks like a call girl who got fucked in the ass one too many times.
I hurt.
Sandhurst (from now on, Starburst) is the sensitive dancer who never misses a chance to tell someone he's from the island of Tobago. Shawn is the cool gay guy who is older and doesn't act obnoxious.
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Comments (8)
I actually thought Androgy-Chris had potential, but they would have had to cut his hair really short.
I like Sandhurst, Collin, and Salome so far.
1 of 8 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 13, 2009 9:16 PM
Thanks for the awesome recap, love the nicknames for the 'models'.
My guess for the boring candies is copyright issues. They didn't need to get any for the very few candies they went with.
Is it me or did Jonathan sort of look like david beckham in his lollypop photo? Also, the female host totally flip the bird when she was talking about CJ.
2 of 8 | Posted by carol | Posted on March 14, 2009 12:47 AM
Is Gabriel in 4th grade or something? That guy got wood at BOTH photoshoots! Awkward!
The cast is mostly meh so far, but hopefully it will get more interesting as the show progresses. Thanks for a great recap.
3 of 8 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on March 14, 2009 6:04 AM
Great recap!! Here's another stupid Bravo show that has sucked me in!! Anywho, I would have kicked off CJ just cause of her spoiled brat, I didn't get my way attitude!! Yawning at Elimanations? That alone should have sealed her fate. Hopefully next week she will get the dreaded boot. And I agree with Tabitha, she looks way better as a brunette, it makes her eyes stand out better, before she just looked like she got off the Rock of Love Bus.
I do like the new format with the four judges and no viewer voting, but whatz up with the "mentors", I didn't see them doing anything. You would think they would be training them to walk the runway, especially Colin, but nope, he had to figure it out on his own. And the girls mentor is no better, when Salome won the go-see and asked about it, the mentor said she couldn't tell her. What? At least explain it to them, give her a hand in picking someone to go with her, tell her what to expect. I couldn't believe it. It seems we only see the mentors at eliminations. You would think they would show up at their photo shoots and give them pointers. I don't see the need for them if that's all they are going to do is tell the eliminated party, see ya!! Sorry for venting!!
4 of 8 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on March 14, 2009 9:56 AM
bravotv.com/make-me-a-supermodel/chris
Chris looks more like a girl than Katlin from Real World Brooklyn.
5 of 8 | Posted by carol | Posted on March 14, 2009 11:49 AM
Monamonzano
Thanks for the recap, it's great that TVGasm has someone recapping this show. I got sucked in to this show on the first season, but it seems that the format this season changed a little. This season is showing more of the models shoots then of the models in the house like last season. Not sure if I like the change.
Thanks again
K
6 of 8 | Posted by gasmreader | Posted on March 16, 2009 9:02 AM
Yay!!! Mona, in heat capping this show, Yay!!!
I hate myself for all the TV I'm trying to watch, and on Wed, that's ANTM, AI, And this--last week followed by a late Ru Paul that I was still up for . . .
I think Starburst will take this one, he's got such a grace, and the dancing backround ought to help bury some stiffies (I mean the model stiffies, not the bulging from underwear kind.)
Gabriel might as well be dead, Chris-creepy and not the slightest bit clued in as to what you're supposed to do for modeling--the man who fell to earth!!!
Brandon, girl, get over yourself and enjoy some peen, I mean, sorry, he actually referenced some kind of unwanted attentions from a man as a kid/youngman? and I will say, w/out snark, that can really mess with sexual identity, gay straight or whatev . . . but he's gay--moving on . . .
I'm not getting the CJ bimbo model, and Jordin, ugh, I would so not see her as a model, tho she rocked her shoot, but dull as dishwater, is it me!?
Colin's sweet, and nice to see someone trying, but he's all yours Mona--guess if I had to pick from this show, I'd do Corey--I'm kind of sad he's not on panel anymore.
all my friends I show this epi too get addicted . . . what does that say about society . . .
7 of 8 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 16, 2009 7:30 PM
I LOVE ME SOME JUDDFAN! Your comments are hilarious!!!
You're right about Starburst- for some reason, I don't really like him, though...weird, huh? I can't quite put my finger on it.
Branden- yeah, I can't wait till they show the footage of him jacking off to gay porn...mmm!!!
Corey's hot, but I love the awkward cluelessness of Colin. I get into sexual predator mode when I see him...sigh.
8 of 8 | Posted by Monamonzano | Posted on March 16, 2009 7:40 PM